


Rockets and Riots: A story of survival

by zeusfluff



Category: The 4400
Genre: Gen, P positives and Negatives, The Gabriel Hewitt storyline they never went through with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 09:04:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 85,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6111630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeusfluff/pseuds/zeusfluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A war not meant to be fought, and a girl who finds the way into the heart of her mother’s former boss captivates this story with love, loss and triumph of life worth living after a war. </p><p>Feel free to nitpick at this. I wrote this back in 2009. Con-crit welcome. However, flaming isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> I realize this story turned into a monster. WOW. Feel free to nitpick at it. Point out what I need to fix/work on. But please, no flaming.

Intro:

September 2nd, 2007 Riots have been going on for weeks here in Seattle. Peter and I and our son Will have been hiding during the day, and only going out at night. It isn’t safe to be out in the open during the day. During the day we hear bombs constantly falling. Peter said something about trying to escape Seattle and flee to Portland, we’d be refugees, but Portland is safer than Seattle at this point. It’s only three hours from here. There are no riots in Portland. Not yet anyways. It’s a virtual safe haven compared to this place at this point. But Peter is worried about me.

It would be fine if we only had Will to worry about, but you see, I’m nine months pregnant. Peter prefers that we stay, at least until I have the baby. But I say we should just flee to Portland anyways. There are some really nice suburbs of Portland that we could settle in. The riots get worse daily. I fear that the hospitals may close down soon. I hear that some are fleeing as far south as South America. Some say Mexico is safer. It is my hope that I can keep my children safe. But this city, this very state is falling apart. NTAC ceased to exist months ago, and a virtual madman has taken over Seattle.

He said he was a political candidate for state governor, but every chance he’s getting, he’s throwing 4400’s and normal people alike into internment camps. He’s raided almost every home in this city. Now I understand why my husband wants to flee to Oregon, because it is much safer. As much worrying as I’m doing as of late, I might have this baby in a day or two. The curtains of our apartment are drawn shut, they are never open.

I watched as my son Will played with his toy fire truck on the carpet here in the living room. He was so oblivious to what was going on in the world around him. In a way, it’s almost better if he didn’t know anything. My son is four years old. I'm glad he won't be able to remember any of this. I felt Peter’s hands on my shoulders for a moment. That felt good. I needed a little massage, and maybe a little something on the side as well. No, I can’t think like that. Not good for me. Now is not the time to be thinking of such things. I smiled at Peter, and then put one of my hands up to his left hand and squeezed it. I saw him remove his right hand from my shoulder and place it protectively over my stomach.

Sometimes when wars raged like they did, life prevailed, and I was more than willing to give this baby everything. I was willing to give her a fighting chance, even if it meant risking my own life for hers. As any mother would for their children. I spoke up.

“Peter, I’ve been thinking about what you were saying about fleeing to Portland and I think we should do it. I mean, it’s much safer, and its only three hours from here. Think of the baby Peter. I don’t want her to be born in the middle of a war zone. We have to do something about this. I don’t want to raise my kids in a dangerous place. Please, honey, just think about this”.

Peter looked as if he were thinking on the decision, but I knew that he wasn’t going to give me an answer right away. This was something that couldn’t just be decided in two minutes, it had to be thought over carefully. I shifted my weight a little to get comfortable again. Peter looked at me in concern.

“You okay Nina? If your back is hurting you, maybe you should go lay down”.

I shook my head no at him; my back wasn’t hurting at all. I think the baby was just kicking me. She was already two weeks late. This didn’t help that I was being kept on extra vitamins and other things needed for me still. I closed my eyes for a second; I focused on my breathing to keep myself calm. And for a moment, I could almost hear my baby’s heartbeat. I opened up my eyes and smiled.

“I’m okay, Peter. For a minute there, I felt like I could hear the baby’s heartbeat. Peter? What if she’s born tonight? Or even tomorrow? How is she going to survive, we hardly have any food as it is. The stuff we do have is getting old quickly. We have to find more food. Will is getting paler and thinner every day. He can’t survive if we don’t get more food. It’s hard enough as it is to find food in this city these days with rioters everywhere during the day, and some scavengers at night”.

I moved a little more, the baby was leaning on my bladder again. I stood up as best I could and waddled my way over towards our bedroom and slowly went into the bathroom. I felt better once I emptied my bladder. As I made my way out of the bathroom and into our bedroom, I felt a wave of nausea hit me suddenly; it knocked me to the ground hard. I tried my best to get up off the ground, but it hurt. I called for Peter.

“Peter could you please help me”?

I could see Peter come into the room from where I was laying on the floor by the bed. I sighed in relief when he came over to me. I couldn’t seem to move very well. I tried my best to move myself into a sitting position. But Peter put his hand up against my shoulder.

“No Nina, stay still. How did you fall? No, don’t move”.

I was very stubborn when it came down to my husband babying me. He always did this to me. But more because I was pregnant. Well I'm allowed. I'm so glad that my husband is a doctor, I wouldn't know what to do and where to go if he wasn't here with me. Having a baby was hard work. If only men could experience what we go through daily, then they would understand what we truly go through. If men had children, then they would understand the pains of labor we go through. Peter looked at me carefully for a moment; I looked into his warm and caring eyes.

“Peter, this is getting ridiculous, how much longer am I going to have to go through this”?

I think I may have confused Peter a little. He was always so understanding, he always got what I was trying to tell him. But at the moment, he looked lost. He put his hand up to my cheek and caressed it a little. I sighed and moaned a little.

“Peter now is not the time. You know I love you don’t you? Even though doing that would greatly improve my chances of having this baby sooner, not a good idea. Our son is in the other room; we don’t need him seeing that. And besides, I can’t even get to the bed, let alone move. I fell pretty hard when I came out of the bathroom. I haven’t felt the baby move for a few minutes. Is she alright”?

Peter quickly went over to the hall closet outside our bedroom door and grabbed for his bag, he hadn’t used it in a few months. He doesn’t make very many house calls anymore, so he stores his things in the hallway closet. I watched as he came back. I saw him set his bag down on the bed. He fumbled through it for a moment until he found what he was looking for in it. I saw him take out the fetal heart monitor and looked at me concerned.

“Stay still I’m hoping that this will work. I’m sure the baby is fine; she’s probably just a little shaken up. She got a good jolt from the fall you gave her. If my assumptions are correct, this should only take a minute to tell what’s going on. From what I can tell here, strong heartbeat. She’s alright Nina. She’s moving around, can you feel it”?

I nodded my head and smiled with tears in my eyes. I had never felt happier in my entire life than I did then. My little Jamie was alright. Maybe this whole war would end soon, and I could raise my family in peace. I dreamed of the day when this may happen, but it may be a long time from now. I felt Peter place his hand on top of my stomach and massage it gently. I was comfortable. But I needed to be in bed. Peter had suggested that I get into bed for the time being. I hadn’t been sleeping all too well the past few days, and it worried Peter terribly to know that I wasn’t getting as much sleep I could get my hands on before I brought this baby into the world.

I needed all the strength I could give this little girl. I would bring her into the world safely. I would. If it was the last thing I did. Peter helped me climb into bed as carefully as possible.

“Nina, I’m going to get you some sedatives, they’ll help you get some sleep. In the mean time, I want you to just lie back and relax. I know you will. You’ve been the tough cookie throughout this whole pregnancy. You’ve gone through so much; you’ve risked your life so many different times. This baby is going to be strong, I know she is. If her mother’s any indication”.

I smiled at Peter knowingly. I was now lying in bed comfortably. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I looked over at the clock; it was now nearing nine o’clock. Will was supposed to be in bed in about ten more minutes. I saw Peter pull two sleeping pills from his bag and hand them to me. I quickly popped them into my mouth and swallowed them down with water. I saw Peter look at me for a moment. He sat down on the bed next to me and looked into my eyes. He shined his pen light into my eyes. I squinted a little. When he shut it off, he looked deeper into my eyes. I saw him shake his head satisfied with that. I saw him go over towards the bedroom door and shut it.

“Nina honey, I need you to relax and just trust me on this. Trust me on what I’m going to say. I need you to relax for a minute. I have a bad feeling about something. But don’t quote me on it honey. Relax, it’ll be alright. I promise”.

I watched Peter’s reactions, he seemed even more concerned about me than he had a minute ago. Tears of despair poured down my face like a cascading mini waterfall. I saw him pat the inside of my thigh.

“Nina, sweetie, I’m going to need you to stay in bed for the rest of the night. You’ve seem to have dilated caused by the fall you took a little while ago. Two centimeters might not sound like much, but it’s just enough to cause labor to occur early. I’m sure it’s not going to be the case with you. You’re two weeks late. Baby was supposed to have been born on August 21st. It’s now Sunday September 2nd. And tomorrow’s Monday. If something doesn’t give by tomorrow afternoon, I’m going to have to take some drastic measures here and have your water broken. I don’t want to do that, but I might if nothing happens soon. Just keep that in mind honey. Those sleeping pills should be kicking in any minute. They should help you sleep better. I’ll put Will to bed, and make sure he’s asleep. I’ll read him his favorite story. It seems to calm his mind when he’s worried about you. Get some sleep. I love you”.

I felt Peter’s hand caress my cheek for a moment, I smiled and welcomed it, closing my eyes. I was getting sleepy. My entire body felt heavy. I felt Peter pull the covers over me. I wouldn’t lose that man for the world. When I fell in love with him five years ago, I didn’t imagine the heartbreak we might suffer later. Or the other’s to come still.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
September 3rd, 2007

When morning came, the bright light blinded me. I felt groggy. I swallowed, and for a moment, I almost didn’t remember where I was exactly. I looked over at the empty spot next to me in the bed. Peter was nowhere to be found. I looked towards the bathroom. It was shut. He must be taking a shower. I tried to lift myself into a sitting position, but as I tried, I found that every limb in my body ached and felt like it was on fire. I hadn’t the slightest clue why though.

I yelped like a hurt puppy, and I saw Peter come busting out of the bathroom, his hair halfway dry. As he rushed over to me, my vision began to get fuzzy. My hearing was becoming obscure. I didn’t know what was happening to me, and I didn’t like it one bit. I could hear Peter, but his words were a bit scrambled at the moment.

“Nina, can you hear me? What’s wrong? I won’t know what’s wrong with you until you tell me. Are you in trouble? Is the baby in trouble? Or are you both in trouble”?

I didn’t know, but I was feeling my eyes rolling in the back of my head. I was so warm right now, it’s not even funny. I felt Peter put his hand up to my forehead for a moment. Suddenly, I could see clearly once more. I could hear again too. My speech was slow, and it sounded slurred as if I had some sort of speech impediment.

“W-was gon on? Was wrong wit me”?

Peter looked even more alarmed when he heard me speak. It wasn’t my fault I was sounding like this. I didn’t know what was going on. I knew Peter could help me; he worked with children who had speech impediments greater than mine.

“I don’t know honey, but you’re starting to scare the shit out of me… Or scare me to death… I cannot help you unless you tell me what’s wrong with you. That sedative couldn’t have done this to you. It’s something else. Now, I want you to lie back for a minute. Let’s see how you’re doing. I would hope you would be able to get out of bed today. Well, the good thing now is that you’re not dilated anymore. This means, you can walk around if you’d like, but I do advise you not to take on too much”.

Suddenly, I could hear, and see again. I swallowed for a moment and looked over at Peter. He had the strangest look on his face. Whatever sensation that had just come over me was gone in an instant. How could something like that just go away so quickly? I hadn’t a clue, but it didn’t really matter at the moment. I could speak normally now, which was strange.

“Peter I’m alright. I wanted to check on Will. He’s getting weaker. We’re going to have to find more food soon. But it’s not safe to go out during the day. You know that”.

Peter had a glint of hope in his eyes. I knew where his crazy schemes got him... They usually got him into trouble. I didn’t want him to get hurt for it. I only gave him a look of pleading. I didn’t want him going out into the open. He might get shot.

“Nina, I’m going to go out there and find some food for us. Don’t worry, it won’t take long. There is still one supermarket open on 10th. I’ll be in and out like that. I won’t be long. Make sure you lock the door when I leave”.

I shook my head no at Peter. I wasn’t going to let him go out of this apartment. He had a son, and a wife that was expecting to take care of. So, in a way, he had to go out and find some food. Even if he had to give his life for us. But I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him to leave us at all.

“Peter, you don’t have to do this. Really you don’t. I don’t want you to go. What would you tell your son? He’s going to be begging for his father...”

When Peter began to walk away from me, I quickly grabbed for his hand and placed it on top of my swelling abdomen. I wasn’t going to let him forget where he was, and who he had a duty to protect. He had three people to protect.

“I’m sorry honey, but I have to go. If we’re going to survive this, we’re going to need food. There’s nothing more in the world that I’d like more than spending all my time with you and Will. But I have to go. I won’t be long. Lock the door. Will’s going to be out of bed in a while, and I know he’s been asking for pancakes. Just stay put, I’ll be back in no time I promise”.

As Peter left the room, I let myself cry as if I were a grieving widow. What if Peter never came back? I didn’t want to think that way, Peter would come back. I knew he would. I lie in bed until I was sure I could hear noise coming from my son’s room. At first, I thought I heard him crying, as if he were having a bad dream. Maybe he was. He had so many nightmares these days. I slowly made my way from my bed over to the door of my bedroom. My movements these days aren’t exactly graceful. I opened it and went down the hallway a little ways towards my son’s room. When I entered his room, I found him thrashing about and calling out for me.

“MOMMY! Help me! Please! Mommy! He’s going to get me”!

I had no idea what Will was talking about, but I’d get to the bottom of this. I pulled him into my arms and he stopped thrashing about. But he was still shaking terribly, and he was pale and sweaty, and all at the same time, he was clammy. He was also soaking wet down to the bone, as if he had just been through a rainstorm. I looked at his blood sugar meter around his wrist for a minute. His blood sugar was already down to 25. If it got down to about 15 he’ll go into convulsions and he’ll fall into a coma and never wake up again. I didn’t want that.

“Will, look at mommy. I want you to look at mommy. It’s okay. It was just a dream. Who’s he? Who’s going to get you baby? No one’s going to get you. Mommy and daddy won’t let ‘him’. I promise”.

Will kept shaking his head at me. He was still convinced that someone was going to get to him. Or rather, maybe it was me he was talking about. I cradled him in my arms for a moment. I heard his crying get louder. He just kept on crying.

“No mommy! The man! He’s going to try and hurt my baby sister! Don’t let him get you mommy! Please”!

I was naturally terrified by this idea, but it was probably just some crazy nightmare he had. I needed to get something in him, and fast. I looked back at his meter on his wrist and let out a loud gasp and cursed myself. It now read 18 as it beeped twice. I began to think to myself. I’ve got to get something with sugar into him. He’s going downhill and fast. Banana’s always seemed to help him. But that’s when he’s only at 30.

He’s already at 18. He needs something with more sugar in it. Peter! Where are you! I wiped away the sweat from my son’s forehead and was trying to keep him as calm as possible. When I heard his meter on his wrist begin to beep three times, I began to panic. It now read 15. I saw his eyes roll into the back of his head and his whole body began to shake violently. I cursed under my breath and brought him out to the living room with me. I set him down near the couch and held his head in my lap.

“No! Don’t do this to me! Not now! You can’t take him away from me! Please, just let him stay with us just a little longer! My son means everything to me! Please”!

This war was costing my husband and I everything we had. Even our four year old son for crying out loud! I silently let tears fall down my face. I was afraid that I was really going to lose him. I wished Peter would come back sooner rather than later. I heard an explosion outside suddenly. It shook the apartment violently. I nearly threw my body over my son’s to protect him. I shielded my eyes from the dust that came from up above. I coughed a little when I looked up. The dust was falling on us, like a snowstorm. That stuff if it settles in your lungs could kill you, or just cause breathing problems later. I held my son’s head in my lap once more.

“Come on baby, you can get through this! I know you can... Mommy doesn’t want to lose you for anything in the world, and neither does daddy. I won’t let you leave me Will! Please”!

Then as if my prayer had been answered by the lord himself, my son finally stopped convulsing. I was ever so glad that I had my son with me. I wouldn’t know what to do if he had left me. I knew he wouldn’t open his eyes. His breathing was labored also. My baby was slowly slipping away whether I liked it or not.

Suddenly, I heard glass crunching on the ground just outside in the hallway. I immediately froze. I didn’t know if it was Peter, or someone else. But one thing was for sure, I was so scared and whoever was out in the hallway, I wasn’t prepared for whatever they were going to do. I saw a young girl step into the apartment just then. I could only look at her for a second. Then I realized who it was. It was Maia, Diana’s daughter. But how had she gotten here? Of all places?

To Be Continued...


	2. Rockets and Riots: A story of survival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own: Will, Jamie and any other OC I can come up with.

September 2nd, 2007

There were protestors everywhere. Their loud shouts began to scare me as mom, Ben and I walked past two groups of people holding various signs. As we walked by, I read one of the signs somebody held up. ‘Promicin= Death’. And then another read: ‘Stop world hunger, stop human suffering, and take promicin.’ A woman in one of the crowds screamed as a man pulled out a gun and shot it in the air twice.

Suddenly, people were running in every direction. In the confusion, I was pushed into the group of protestors supporting Promicin, mom and Ben into the one against. I began to scream. I tried to grab for mom’s fingers, and I managed to get a hold of them for a moment before I was violently thrown to the ground by a man fighting with a woman over a Papaya.

“Mom! Help me! Please don’t leave”!

I had to move quickly before the woman and the man who were still fighting over the Papaya knocked me over again. I tried desperately to push my way through the throng of people. But the farther I got through, the farther my mother and Ben got from me. I cried harder, and I tried my best to get back to mom again. It was no use. I couldn’t reach her.

A loud noise distracted me suddenly. I was trying to see where it was coming from. But before I could figure out the exact direction it was coming from, an explosion went off a few blocks away, throwing everyone to the ground. When I hit the ground, I covered my head as best I could. After a few minutes, I got up, and people everywhere were trying to figure out what had just happened. My hearing was fuzzy. It was like I was hearing everything underwater. That must have been a bomb that went off a few blocks ahead of me. I looked around me; a few bodies littered the ground here and there, and one woman sat over her husband’s body weeping.

Another held her baby in her arms. I had to look away, because it made me sick to my stomach. I heard rumbling noises from around the corner of a building. A tank came barreling around it, and over the loudspeaker came a man’s voice.

“Everyone clear the area. Citizens of Seattle, you are to remain indoors until further notice. A curfew goes into effect as of 5:00 p.m. tonight. You have two hours to comply. If you need medical assistance, go directly to the clinic on Pike and Gorsch. Again, I repeat, you are to remain indoors until further notice. Curfew goes into effect as of 5:00 p.m. tonight”.

I ran from the scene in front of me. I didn’t care where I was running to, but I had to find a place to hide, and if I was lucky, I’d find mom and Ben where ever I hid. The buildings around me twisted and curled with smoke. A brick building, once an apartment complex was nothing but a pile of rubble. I kept running until I found an apartment building that wasn’t down on the ground in pieces. I opened up the door and went in. The hallways here were empty. But I could hear voices echoing in the distance. Some were speaking languages I couldn’t understand. A man’s voice came echoing from some floor far above my head.

“Que te dije Rosa? Esos soldados estuvieron listos para poner en una queda del muy empezando. Me comprende usted? Tenemos que salir de este lugar! Para usted, para mi y para Juan... Suelta”!

(What did I tell you Rosa? Those soldiers were ready to put in a curfew from the very beginning. Do you understand me? We have to get out of this place! For you, me and Juan... Let’s go!)

I kept walking down the hallway, when a little girls crying startled me. An open apartment door was slightly left ajar towards the end of the hallway. I poked my head in a little. The girl looked at me with a dirt-smudged face, tears staining them. She sat next to a woman I’m guessing was her mother. Somehow though I don’t think there was anything that could be done to help the woman out anymore.

I turned away from the girl and continued my way down the hallway until I reached a corner. When I turned the corner, I saw glass scattered all over the floor. Wind blew in through the broken window nearby... I found another door that was open slightly. I heard a woman crying. I pushed the door open a little more, coming face to face with my mom’s old boss Nina Jarvis. She looked up at me startled when a piece of broken glass crunched under my shoe.

"You're my mom's old boss. Nina Jarvis. I had a vision about you. It happened just like this. You were crying over some one. Is that someone you're husband? It wasn’t exactly clear who I saw”.

I saw her shake her head no at me. I looked at her for a second. The last time I had seen her was when I was 9 years-old. She was big with a baby, and I began to wonder if she was ready to have it soon. She sat and cried more and held a little boy in her arms I assumed was her son.

“This is my son. His father was in that riot out there. He left me here with my son, and one more to take care of when she comes into the world”.

I watched as she shifted her gaze from me back to her son again. He looked very sick. He was much younger than I was. He looks around three or four years-old. Something glinting off the wall by the front door caught my attention momentarily. I followed it as it moved, and found that the glinting came from a large diamond wedding ring my mom’s boss had on her left hand. I pointed to it and her stomach.

“Oh, you’re married. My mom is getting married. You’re having a baby? A girl? I bet your son would be happy to have a little sister…”

My heart began to race when I heard glass crunch under someone’s foot. In the doorway now stood a tall man with dark brown hair, brown eyes and a deep suntan. I sat down over by the tv not knowing what to do. I wasn’t sure of what to say to this man. I saw my mom’s boss get tears in her eyes.

“Peter… Oh my… What happened to you? My go… You’re bleeding! Let me see that.”

The man named Peter got closer to Nina. Then he turned to me and smiled. I still sat by the tv, nervously.

“Well hi there, who are you? Where did you come from”?

I smiled shyly at Peter for a moment. I was often very shy when I met new people. I mean, I knew my mom’s boss, but not as well as I did Marco and Tom. I peered up at the man.

“I was just walking around looking for some place to hide when I heard your wife crying. She was my mom’s old boss. My name’s Maia, I was separated from my mom and my dad when that riot down stairs in the street broke out. I can’t find her”.

I saw a sparkle in Peter’s eyes. He had an idea. Maybe it had something to do with finding my mom and Ben. For now, I’d have to wait and see.

“It’s alright Maia. We’ll find your mom and dad. I see you’ve already met my wife. You said she was your mom’s boss? She’s lucky; my wife’s a fair woman. And now, I think it’s best if we get out of this building, it could collapse at any moment.”

I began to feel scared again, but I wasn’t alone. I had three people here with me. I stood up and followed Peter and Nina out the door. Will was in his arms. When we reached the emergency door, I opened it up, holding it open for both Nina and Peter to get out. Once we were all situated in the car, Peter put the car in gear. As we were driving I saw their son Will open up his eyes. His eyes seemed sad as he looked at his mother.

“Mommy, I’m tired, I want to sleep in my bed. Where are we going”?

I watched for a moment, unsure of what to do. I could see Nina’s face in the rearview mirror. Her eyes had a sad quality about them, almost as if they were pleading. I saw that his eyes were starting to close again.

“Will, look at me baby, stay awake. You can’t go to sleep right now. Mommy and daddy both need you to stay awake. Will, look at me, stay awake”.

My eyes widened in fear as I saw Will close his eyes. His mother knew what was going on. I began to panic a little. What was going on? I saw Nina turn to Peter.

“Peter pull over. Stop the car! I said stop the car”!

I felt as Peter carefully pulled the car over to the side of the road. The back door on the driver’s side opened up, and he pulled his son out of his car seat. I turned my head and glanced over the seat to see what he was doing. I saw him open the door in the very back of the car and set Will down on the carpeting inside. I saw him pull a cooler that he and Nina might have been storing in the back of the car out, and pulled out a syringe with some sort of medicine in it.

My eyes followed as he pulled the cap off and tapped the syringe to make the excess medicine at the top sink down a little. He lifted up his son’s shirt up a little bit and injected it into his stomach. I saw as his son opened up his eyes, and he began to cry. I watched as Peter pulled Will into his arms and held him. Was Will alright? I hadn’t noticed that I was shaking until now. Nina looked back at me and tried her best to comfort me.

“It’s okay, everything will be just fine. My son’s alright. My husband only gave him a shot of Glucose. He’s diabetic. Type One. Once we find a place to settle down somewhere, we’ll find your mom okay? It shouldn’t be too hard to track her down now can it? Keep your head up, we’ll be alright”.

Peter placed Will back in his car seat next to me. I could only look at the boy with a sympathetic gaze. Somehow I knew he’d be alright though. I gazed out the window, taking in the changing scenery around me. The leaves from the trees were beginning to change colors. It was beautiful. When I was little, back before I was taken from my parents, I would jump in the big pile of leaves daddy would make with the rake. I smiled at the thought and looked back at the trees, glowing reds, gold’s and yellows.

What beautiful scenery it made. By now, I found myself far away from anything that I’ve known over the past four years of living in Washington State. We were leaving the city, a place where I had learned to call home with mom. But both Nina and Peter told me that their vacation house here in the outskirts of town was much safer than their apartment smack in the middle of Seattle where the riots raged day and night...

The car pulled into a driveway of a two story house the color of dark green. The gutters were full of leaves, and the shutters were nearly falling off the windows. I don’t think they’ve fixed this place up in a long time.

“Well, here we are, home sweet home. I know it’s not much to look at on the outside anymore, but the inside is beautiful. Peter and I haven’t had much time to fix it in awhile, so the house looks a little run down”.

I carefully got out of the car and looked around me; the street was deserted, except for a few piles of leaves here and there. I shivered, if this is what the streets were going to look like all over the world, I didn’t want to be out in it. My eyes wandered over to the passenger seat where Nina was sitting. Seeing that she needed help, I went over to the other side of the car.

“Would you like some help Nina”?

To my amazement, she willingly took my hand and gently hoisted herself down and out of the car. My smile disappeared when I saw a look of aching pain cross her pretty but worn out face. The deep breaths she began to take told me that something was going on. I warily kept my eye on her for a moment. Bewildered, she grabbed for my hand tighter, clutching at her enormous stomach at the same time. Her voice was strained, as she tried to tell Peter what was going on.

“Peter, I’m having contractions”.

I understood what Nina was experiencing. Mom had explained it to me, much to her dismay. Purposefully, she’d intended not to inform me of the topic ‘until my wedding day’. I’d learned a little bit about it when the 4400 center was still open, and I’d attended school there. But couldn’t continue with the topic when school closed down.

Though mom had explained to me how women had babies, I was still very curious. Never before had I been fascinated by such a normal occurrence in life. As I helped Nina to the front door, I felt a wave of almost awkward terror well up in the pit of my stomach. What if mom didn’t want me to see how a baby was born? I’d heard from many of my friends, who had siblings much younger than them, that it’s very graphic.

They had seen their siblings being born; now why couldn’t I watch a live birth? I shrugged my shoulders to myself and went inside as soon as Peter opened up the door and took his key out. His face was creased with a mix of concern and fear for his wife. I averted my attention from Nina at the moment and looked around at their beautiful house. I saw pictures of her son all over tables by the front door.

There was one that I noticed was different from all the others. A picture on a table by itself held my awestruck curiosity. In the picture, there was a little girl, holding a small baby. Though she grinned for the camera brightly, something about her seemed haunted, exhausted. Who was this little girl in the photograph in front of me? I glanced back over at Nina, then to Peter and Will. I thought they only had a son.

“Mrs. Morgan, who is that little girl holding the baby in this picture”?

Tears nearly sprang from Nina’s eyes when I asked her the question. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked her at all. She was very upset, I could tell. Did I say something wrong? A flash of anger danced across her beautiful features. Her angry tone got the better of me.

“That’s none of your business! Let it alone will you”?

Apparently, I’ve struck a sore nerve here. Maybe I should leave it alone. After all, mom said to never ask anyone you don’t know very well about their personal lives. It was too late for me, I had already asked, and dug a bigger hole than I think I can dig myself out of. I shifted my gaze to the floor, in the hopes of saying sorry.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry I asked. It must bring some terrible memories back to you”.

Her face softened as the words flowed out of my mouth in a gesture of making my peace with her. At first she didn’t say anything, she could only stare at me blankly as if in a kind of trance and nod her head with ease. Peter’s voice gave me some comfort, to help with the sting of Nina’s words.

“It’s alright Maia. It was a long time ago now. Nearly four years have passed since the passing-on of our first little girl, Lexi. She died of a tumor the size of a grape that lie dormant in her brain for nearly a year before we found it, and by then, it was already too late. She’s in a better place now. Jamie is somewhat of a revitalized hope for Nina. She lost everything the day Lexi passed on”.

My eyes widened, but not so much with fear, as it was sorrow. And for a moment, I felt what Nina was feeling. A lump formed in my throat. I tried swallowing, but it didn’t seem to help ebb the sensation. So, this baby she was having, a little girl, would finally help put her mind at ease. A kind of fresh start, and let Lexi go.

“Peter, shouldn’t we take Nina to the hospital? I mean don’t women normally have babies in hospitals? I heard having a baby at home could be very dangerous. You're going to help her aren’t you Peter”?

Uneasiness was written all over his face as I asked him the question. But he put on a comforting smile, trying to make it look like he wasn’t all that worried. I should think he had everything under control. He declared his vow to help his wife out to me as suddenly as I had blurted out the question about his deceased little girl Lexi.

“Yes Maia, I’m going to help Nina through this. I’m perfectly qualified to do so. I’m a doctor. I used to work at Saint Michael’s before it shut down a couple of weeks ago. What we need to do right now is to get upstairs and make sure that she’s comfortable. Once up there, we need to get her into bed. I’ll put Will in his room; he’s resting so that shouldn’t be a problem. I gave him a banana before I took him out of the car while you were helping Nina. That'll tide him over for awhile.”

I nodded my head in agreement and continued to help Nina up the last of the stairs. When we got to her room, she made her way over to her bed, lying down on it ever so gently. I was very uncomfortable with the situation in front of me at this very time. I glanced at Nina as I placed myself in the chair next to the bed. Sweat was starting to form on her left eyebrow. I pondered for a second what it would be like to have a baby. My thoughts were abruptly halted when Nina called out to me.

“Maia? You alright sweetie? Hanging in there okay? It’ll be alright, I promise you that much. We’ll find your mom and dad. I trust the very idea of seeing a woman having a baby makes you nervous. Well that makes two of us. This is my third child and I’m as nervous as ever. I hope your mother won’t be angry with Peter and I for letting you watch a live birth. I think it’s a good learning experience. You’ve never seen one before have you? Well, it’s the most astonishing miracle any woman could ever ask for, minus the pain. You’ll see one day. Now, come here, don’t be afraid. I want you to feel this. You feel that? That’s the baby kicking”.

I laughed a little as Nina placed my hand over her stomach and I began to feel tiny feet kicking her. The kicking was like the beating of butterfly’s wings. It was amazing, but I was also very reluctant to question her if it hurt or not, fearing I would get the same reaction I did when I asked about her little girl. I took a deep breath, voicing my question anyways.

“That feels funny. Does it hurt”?

Her expression towards me was one of relief and amusement. What had I said this time? I shook my head slightly with a dumbfounded and confused look on my face. Her warm voice reassured me otherwise of the situation.

“No it doesn’t hurt at all. The only thing that does hurt is the contractions. But you don’t need all the gory details of it all. This isn’t as easy as when I had my son Will”.

To comfort Nina, I now held both her right and left hands. She took both gratefully and squeezed them, giving me a weak but well-intended smile as she did so. A sinking feeling began to form at the bottom of my stomach. Something told me that her daughter Jamie would be alright, but something else was going to happen. I hadn’t seen it in a vision, it was just a feeling I had, and I couldn’t shake it. Should I tell Nina? Would it be wrong to keep it to myself? Peter appeared in the room, practicing calm as he did so. He looked at his wife, then turned to me and smiled.

“Well, you two seem to be getting along well. Catching up on girl-talk are we? Well, I think it’s time we get down to business and check to see what’s going on here”.

Nina stayed very calm as Peter went about seeing what was going on with the baby. I kept my eyes on the floor. I was embarrassed, though I could see nothing. My face turned a dark shade of crimson red. Nina caught onto it.

“Maia its okay, it’s perfectly natural to feel embarrassed. But what Peter does, he helps women and their children nearly every day. Though not so much now since the hospital shut down. Now he sticks mostly to house calls. Which come few and far between as of late”.

I had to be brave through all this. I had to. Peter smiled at Nina, and I smiled at him. Peter seemed like a very happy guy, though I didn’t know him all that well. His findings, which somehow fascinated me.

“You're doing great Nina. Progression of dilation is going slowly however, and you’re currently at two centimeters in diameter. You’ve got eight more to go, and it’s going to be awhile. Resting should help speed up the process slightly. These ice-chips in the cooler I brought up with me should help keep you hydrated during labor. Now, while I was gone, did your water break”?

Nina shook her head no at Peter. I didn’t know the exact words he was using. But I understood what he meant regardless. I often wondered what was meant by ‘water’. It wasn’t actually ‘water’, but rather fluid the baby lives and breathes in while growing inside the mother’s womb. I knew that.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been hours now since Peter had asked Nina if her water had broken yet. I could see they were both frustrated. My thoughts were momentarily averted, and I turned my attention to Nina when I heard the sound of something splashing. Almost like running water. Nina didn’t look worried in the slightest. She knew what was happening, and so did I.

“Peter, my water just broke. That’s a good thing. That should help a little”.

Nina still managed to give me a smile and kept her upbeat attitude. She had told me that most women were not as enthusiastic as she was and their attitudes weren’t positive either. My hands never left hers as another contraction seemed to take hold of her. Peter kept his position at the end of the bed. This time, I didn’t keep my eyes on the floor. I looked Peter in the eyes, hoping to learn from him what was going on at the time.

“Peter, maybe you should give Nina an Epidural. She doesn’t look so good. I know she says she feels fine, but maybe you should give her one anyways".

Peter seemed surprised I knew what an Epidural was. Mom told me it was to help with the pain while women were in labor. That you don’t feel anything after it’s given to you. His startled reaction and voice told all.

“But how do you know what an Epidural is Maia”?

I was much smarter than I looked. Watching this whole live birth experience wasn’t going to be so bad after all. No one told me how long it would last though, let alone how much energy it took out of both Nina and Peter. I spoke up once more.

“My mom told me. I had once asked her to explain to me how women had babies. And then she explained to me about Epidurals. Is Nina going to be okay? She doesn’t look so good”.

I had that fleeting feeling in my stomach again. But I had to keep reminding myself that Nina would be alright. Her screams filled the air and seemed to make the room vibrate. I wanted to cover my ears, but I kept a hold of her hands. She really needed me to help her through this right now. The earsplitting, blood-curdling screams almost became too much to handle, when suddenly, she seemed to calm. All at once, her tense reaction that covered her face, was somewhat relaxed now. I monitored her breathing for a few seconds. She was breathing much easier than she had been a few minutes ago.

“Peter, no, no drugs. We had intended this birth to be natural. I don't want any drugs. I can get through this. No epidural. Please".

Peter’s gaze turned sympathetic towards his wife’s anguished pleas to help her win the battle over the pain she was experiencing.

"Okay honey, but if the pain gets to be too much, just say so, and I'll get you that epidural quickly".

I swallowed hard. But I knew what was going on. I wondered if Nina could really handle all the pain. But she seemed confident that she could get through this without the help of drugs.

“Maia, can you help me with something? I’d like you to help me keep Nina as calm as you can. This could take several more hours. Can you do that for me”?

I nodded my head ever so slightly. I took a breath to calm my racing heart. This was more nerve-wracking than I thought it was going to be. Keeping Nina calm wasn't going to be that easy, but I'd try my best to help keep her mind off the pain. I focused on Nina for a second, she seemed very calm, relaxed even. She had to be in between contractions for the time being. My eyes wandered to Nina’s face, she didn’t look like she was in that much pain anymore. I could see her eyes closing. Peter after all, did say she needed rest. But for how long? I spoke up, concerned what kind of effect it might have on her.

“Peter, are you sure Nina should be sleeping? I know you told me that she needed rest, but for how long? How long does labor usually last anyways”?

Peter’s pacing the room was making me more nervous. I held onto Nina’s hand more out of comfort for both her and myself than out of nervousness. Her eyes opened slightly to look at me. She saw the expression on my face and spoke up, startling me to look at her in the process.

“What’s the matter Maia? Don’t be nervous. Everything will be okay. I’ll be okay. This is nothing new for me. Though my son, he was fairly quick compared to this little girl here”.

As she gingerly positioned her hand over her swelling stomach, I noticed how careful she was being. How did she know what to do? I hoped one day I’d know what to do. But for now, I was much too young to even be thinking about babies. Though I had to admit, they were cute in their own little way.

“How do you know what to do? I mean, Jamie isn’t even here with us yet, and you already know what you’re doing”.

A confused and somewhat bewildered expression crossed her face as she tried her best to sort out the words that had just come out of my mouth. Her eyes were carefully scanning mine, looking for any kind of answer she could to figure out what I was talking about. Her voice held a certain tone, a cross between slightly shocked and uncomfortable.

“Well, from my experience, I naturally knew how I should take care of my son. It’s almost as if it’s hardwired into us women. Wait a minute? How did you know my babies name was Jamie...”?

I stared at Nina for what seemed like an eternity. Had she forgotten I could see the future? After all, my ability was registered at NTAC, which doesn’t exist anymore. So, I had a vision about her and Jamie. She said her name in it. It was just after Peter had placed her into Nina’s arms. Feeling somewhat ashamed suddenly, I didn’t feel like ruining the surprise for her. Though I had seen it in a vision.

“I’d rather not ruin the surprise for you. Your baby is coming soon. That I did see in one of my visions. You’ve probably forgotten I could see the future didn’t you”?

Nina’s face turned a bright shade of red as I told her this. She was embarrassed herself now. I only shrugged my shoulders. It wasn’t that important that she didn’t remember that I could see the future. She did remember that I was one of the 4400. She was also the one who demanded my diary, even after mom told them I wasn’t having anymore visions. This wasn’t even true. She had been furious. But, now we had to put aside our differences. Astonished, she voiced her opinion.

“Yes, I did seem to forget that you could see the future for a moment there. But I hadn’t meant to hurt you at all. It was only my job, please understand that. I was only doing my job at the time. For your own protection”.

Why did I not believe her when she said it was for my own protection at the time? I hadn’t trusted her at first, when she took my diary, only because I thought she would have some of her agents, not mom though, to come and take me away... But that never happened. I folded my arms across my chest for a moment when I let go of Nina’s hands.

I shouldn’t be cross with her. She needed comforting right now; after all, she was having a baby. Any woman would want comforting then. I knew that because mom told me. It had been hours since she had gone into labor, and I’m sure by now, she was nearing her time to push her baby out. I glanced quickly over at Peter, a smile seemed to occupy his entire face.

“Nina, it’s time. Are you ready”? A weary smile became plastered her face, and her eyes filled with joyous tears. She nodded her head and readied herself. I grabbed for both her hands again and squeezed them tight. I swallowed and watched as she took deep calming breaths. “I’m ready Peter”.

Peter assumed his position at the foot of the bed. He nodded his head, confident that everything would go smoothly helping bring this baby into the world. I had confidence in him, though I didn’t know him well at all. He could do it. I knew he could. His voice was full of confidence and concentration at that very moment. I kept quiet.

“Okay, let’s take this nice and easy now. I want you to push now. Good girl”.

Nina’s face seemed to contort into a myriad of different emotions suddenly. I tried reading them, but I didn’t know what she was feeling. I nearly threw my hands up in frustration, but thought the better of it and kept squeezing Nina’s hands to help comfort her.

“This shouldn’t be so bad... I’ve done this before, so this should be easy for me...”

Peter kept nodding his head and turned his attention back to the baby he was bringing into the world. Sweat was beginning to form on his right eyebrow. But I could tell he was ignoring it. He shook his head to keep the sweat from running down his face.

“Okay, I want you to give a big push now. Big push. Good girl. Five more of those and the baby’s head should be out...”

I momentarily let go of Nina’s hands and wiped the sweat away from her forehead with a dampened towel. I set the dampened towel back on the table next to the bed. I grabbed for her hands once more and held them tight. She nodded her head and leaned forward. I don’t know how this would help her push her baby out, but maybe it was more of a comfort thing for her than anything else. I saw tears streaming down her face. But I suppose she was a little scared of all this. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Women sometimes still died while having babies. But I knew that this wouldn’t happen to Nina. She was a very strong woman.

“Okay! I’m doing the best I can Peter! I can’t push any harder than I already am”!

She was breathing heavily, but maybe I was just imagining things. She seemed to relax a little, but not completely. I heard a baby crying suddenly, a good set of lungs too. I couldn’t see her at first. Peter smiled at the both of us, and tears were literally running down his face like a mini waterfall.

“The baby’s out Nina... We have a girl”!

I smiled and watched as Peter’s hands emerged from under the sheets covering Nina’s legs. There in his arms at that very moment in time was a screaming baby. I smiled more as he cleaned Jamie off. What an amazing moment this was for me. I’m glad I got to witness this now. He gently wrapped Jamie in a pink baby blanket and walked over towards Nina after he cut the umbilical cord. When he placed Jamie into Nina’s arms, she began to cry. She was both happy and sad at the same time.

“Peter, I know I should be happy, but, I’ve just had Jamie in the middle of a war zone, in the middle of war-torn Seattle... What are we going to do? How are we going to keep her healthy and fed? We barely have enough food as it is already... Will needs help too... We can’t just let him waste away... we have to help Will find a way to stay with us. If it’s the last thing I do on this Earth, I want nothing more than to have my son stay here with us, no matter how selfish that sounds. War is war, but I won’t let it tear our family apart...”

I became sad when I realized that we were in the middle of a war here. Jamie had been born right smack in the middle of it all. We had to make it out of this war alright, and if we did, would I see mom and Ben again? The thought filled me with dread and would continue to fill it for weeks to come.

 

To Be Continued...


	3. Losing hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

September 8th, 2007

Maia’s been with us a little over a week and it seems she’s doing okay. Well any young girl wouldn’t be all there if they were separated from their parents. Will I fear is slipping little by little, hour by hour. Peter and I can do nothing now but make him as comfortable as possible. He’s still got enough strength to eat at the table with us at all mealtimes. I watch him now; his labored breathing has become more erratic as the days go by. He can’t last like that forever.

Every night, Peter and I give him some muscle relaxants to help him rest easier. But it made our jobs that much harder, because in the end, we knew we would have to say good-bye anyways. His face is drawn out, pale looking. I watched as he carefully took a bite of his chicken from his plate. He’s been having trouble chewing things as of late. .

“Will, I want you to chew that carefully now. Mommy and daddy don’t want you to choke on it. That’s it. That’s my brave boy”.

I ruffled my son’s hair and a huge chunk of it came out. The horrified expression I gave Peter told him that something was wrong other than just our son slipping away from being diabetic. I saw Maia across the table get a disgusted look on her face and run to the bathroom. I think it made her sick to her stomach.

“I’ve got Will Nina, go and check on Maia”.

I nodded my head, my eyes nearly brimming at the corners with tears. I went over to the bathroom and knocked on the door softly. I heard the toilet flush and then running water in the sink. I hoped Maia would answer me.

“Maia, is everything okay in there”?

For a second, I didn’t hear anything from Maia. I got a funny feeling in my gut, but I don’t think it’s anything serious. I saw her open up the door, and what she did next was surprising to me. She hugged me.

“What’s going to happen to us? Are we gonna die? I don’t wanna die Nina. Please help me find my mom. I’m so scared”!

All I could do was loan my support to the shaken up girl in front of me. I hugged her back. I knew how she felt. I was once lost, someone had taken me away from my home when I was six years-old. They lured me away with strawberry gum and told me that if I was a good girl I’d see my mother and father very soon. It wasn’t until I was much older that I learned I had been kidnapped and my parents paid a pretty handsome ransom for me.

That was the 1970’s. This was now. I was in charge of taking care of Maia until we found her mother again. Maia was not a small child anymore, but she still needed someone to guide her. I of course was not her mother. Therefore I could not guide her. But I could at least be her friend while she was around. I let her go and looked into her eyes.

“Don’t you worry about a thing Maia. We’ll find your mom. And it’s alright to be scared. I’m scared too. We’re all scared. Even Peter. I know it doesn’t look like he’s scared, but he is. He’s just very good at hiding it. We’ll get through this. It’s just going to take some time. For now, we’ll have to do the best with what we’ve got available to us. Okay”?

I watched as Maia nodded her head and walked back into the kitchen with me. Things seemed to be under control with Peter and Will.

“Will’s okay Nina, I don’t know what to tell you about why he’s losing his hair though. There have been reports of people losing their hair lately as promicin is still being spread throughout the city. It doesn’t make any sense why our family is immune to it though. It’s already taken the rest of our family. What more is going to happen to us? I say Jordan Collier has to stop the spread of Promicin until Shawn Farrell makes that announcement about the compatibility test. It’s worth a shot. It’ll save thousands of lives. It’s a sure bet with that test”.

Tears welled up in my eyes when Peter mentioned the rest of our family. Both sides had perished when Promicin spread throughout the entire city of Seattle. My sister Nora, my brother in-law Rob, my niece Rachel and her sister Susan. Peter’s parents, his brother and sister, and a handful of cousins to top it all off. I saw the look in Maia’s eyes; she had a sparkle about them.

“Your wrong Nina, Jordan Collier is the good guy. Not a bad guy. Its better that we’re in control now. It’s better for everyone everywhere. No one would have to suffer anymore. There is still hope for your son. There are people who can make him better, get rid of his diabetes. He’d be a healthy kid after that...”

I could only look at Maia stunned at what she was even saying to me. This was the kind of thing I tried so hard to protect people from. But maybe Maia was right on some level. Maybe someone could help my son out. But were the risks worth it though? I straightened myself out.

“Maia you don’t know that. Jordan Collier is a man who just took control over an entire city. I know you think what he’s doing by handing out promicin to give people abilities, is the right idea, but the world doesn’t have to be separated by that”.

Maia could only look at me with a hurt expression on her face. I hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings, but Jordan Collier had to stop. He was making the divide between ordinary people and 4400’s greater every day. Thousands were losing their lives; most were fleeing Seattle for a safer place to live. I more importantly wanted to flee to Portland with Peter, Will and Jamie. My family. But I wanted to make sure Maia got back to her mother first.

“Believe what you two like, but you know I’m right. I’m grateful for you and Peter taking me in don’t get me wrong, but I hate it here. I want to see my mom. When can I see my mom again”?

The truth was, I didn’t know when Maia would get to see her mother again, and I didn’t want to punish her because she wasn’t my child. I would just have to deal with her teenage outbursts as best I could. I watched as Maia went scrambling up the stairs and saw her slam the guest bedroom door. I let out a sigh of exasperation. Peter could only look at me with utmost concern.

“Nina, your doing just fine handling the situation. Punishing her is not our place. But when we find her mother, we should tell her about what’s been going on here. Nina, we can’t ignore the obvious about what’s happening to Will. We can’t avoid it forever. We should enjoy the time we have left with him. The more we think about his impending passing on, the more hope we’re losing. I don’t want his last days to be spent on feeling miserable. We need some distractions”.

I nodded my head, we did need some distractions. But I thought Peter and I needed distractions ourselves. I think that ever since having Jamie, I’ve been starved of my own time with Peter. But that would have to wait a few months, at least until Jamie was six months old. I could not rely on these kinds of things. I straightened myself out and then made a pouty face for a moment. I had to keep a straight face though. If I wasn’t strong, the whole thing would fall apart.

“I know we need distractions Peter. But when am I going to get some of my own time with you? It’s been a really long time. I know we spend most of our time together, but that’s with the three of us”.

I saw Peter smile at me, but his eyes were so full of pity that I didn’t know what to think. He pulled me to him and told Will to go out into the living room and pick out a movie for himself. I leaned in closer to Peter and began to kiss him. I realized that we were standing in the doorway of the kitchen. All I had to do if Peter and I wanted some privacy was to shut the swinging door. But I had to remember there were children in the house. I kept kissing Peter until I heard someone speak. I turned, startled at who’s voice it was.

“Gross you two, get a room if you wanna do that”.

I don’t know if Maia had purposefully done it, or if she had accidently stumbled upon us. I’m thinking the latter, she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I watched as she walked away. When she was situated in the living room and out of sight and ear shot of us, I felt Peter get closer to me. I pulled away, I couldn’t have any of this yet. Not the physical stuff at least.

“Peter honey, I love you, but my body isn’t ready for anything physical right now”.

I saw the look in Peter’s eyes, and watched as he sighed deeply, defeated by the words that came out of my mouth. He of all people should know that. He’s a doctor. He kissed me on the forehead and walked out of the kitchen with me and into the living room. Maia and Will sat on the couch watching The Wizard of Oz. They were at the part where Dorothy’s house fell on top of the wicked witch of the east. We sat down on the couch opposite the front of the tv and cuddled a little. My movements are still very clumsy.

Peter takes two steps and he’s in the living room, meanwhile I take twenty-five to thirty tiny steps to get there, and by the time I do, I’m out of breath. The trials of recovering after giving birth were enormous. I shifted my weight a little to get comfortable. I smiled at both Will and Maia, they got along so well. I’m thinking Maia liked having a younger child to talk to. It must be pretty lonely sometimes being the only child in the house. Daily, the noise kept getting louder in this usually quiet neighborhood.

Bombs still fell and gunshots rang out, and my family was in the middle of it all. I tried to keep them sheltered from it as much as possible, but it wasn’t easy. I quickly grabbed for Jamie over in her basinet when I felt something shake the house violently. Peter called for both Will and Maia to come over and huddle with us. My mind was panicking, but I wasn’t going to show it.

“Maia, Will, come here with us! Take cover”!

The looks on their faces made my heart sink. I knew how frightened both of them must be right now, but everything in the end would be alright. I had promised them we’d get through it okay. Praying always seemed to help me through hard times. So, I began to pray. Holding each member of my family closer to me. Even Maia, who was not part of my family I held close. I knew she needed someone to help get her through all this. I remembered thirteen, it was a scary age for me. But she’d have some good times, as well as bad. All teenagers had those. The shuddering seemed to last only 30 seconds or so, but felt like a lifetime.

Jamie didn’t seem fazed by it. She was too busy trying to see if she could fit one of her fingers into her mouth. When she found out that her finger wasn’t food, she began to whimper and whine at me. It was time for her to eat anyways. She fussed and she whined more as Peter grabbed for a blanket. I rocked her a little as she fussed at me. I tried my best to keep her occupied while Peter helped place the heavy blanket over me. Once I knew she was nursing, I sat back comfortably on the couch. I felt Peter’s hand on my back. I shifted my eyes towards him, and gave him a knowing smile. At least my family was safe. I wasn’t sure about other families. Were other families safe as well? I wasn’t quite sure on that aspect of things.

“You know, ever since the first day I met you, you’ve never failed to surprise me with anything. I think it’s your sense of humor that keeps the both of us going every day”.

I winced and sat forward for a moment when I felt Jamie clamp her gums up against my breast. I guess she felt that she could get more milk from me by doing that. But did it have to hurt so much? I shook my head in my thoughts.

“Honey, what’s wrong? Does something hurt”?

I nodded my head and bit my lip hard, trying hard not to let the tears come barreling down my face. Jamie stood down a little and then I heard her begin to cry. What’s wrong? Maybe she just slipped from me a little. I looked under to blanket to see what was wrong. Peter looked too just to make sure everything was alright.

“It's ok. I'm just sore.”

Peter took Jamie from my arms and held her.

She fussed a little, but she loved being in her daddy’s arms. I followed Peter back out into the living room. I’d hold his hand but he had his hands full with Jamie. I sat down on the couch next to Peter and squeezed his shoulder.

“Honey, you handle her so well. Do you remember the first time you held Will? You thought he was going to break if you held him. No matter how many children you delivered before him... It was a miracle when he was born wasn’t it? I’ll never forget it. And neither will you”.

Peter turned to me with tears in his eyes; he didn’t want to lose his son for anything in the world. But it was happening regardless of anything we could do to try and prevent it. I’d have to remind Peter how long it took for us to conceive a child. Our son Will was a miracle in every way possible. Peter and I had to keep our family as close and as safe as possible for as long as we could. We couldn’t let this war tear it apart.

“No Nina. I haven’t forgotten how long it took us to conceive a child. Or that our son Will is a miracle in itself. I’ll never forget it. My family is the most important thing in the world to me. I would die for this family and you know it Nina”.

Peter tried his best not to get angry. But when he did, it was like being at sea in a raging storm with wind and rain being dumped onto a fishing schooner. If it’s one thing that would tear this family apart, it was Peter’s anger. He got his anger from his father. His father left him and his mother when he was three years-old, leaving his mother to raise him alone. Peter had a fairly happy childhood.

But everyday he wondered what had happened to his father. His mother told him he had moved back to the Federal District in Mexico and went back to teaching at Polytecnica. Peter learned to deal with his father’s abandonment of him and his family and tried to live a normal decent life without resorting to anger and violence. He nodded his head in agreement. He would keep his attention and focus on making our son as comfortable as possible.

“Peter, I know you’d sacrifice yourself and everything for this family. We need to make sure Will is as comfortable as possible. Even in light of all the things that have happened. We should be so lucky to have our family together and safe. After all Peter, it is just you, me, Jamie and Will now. The rest of our family is gone. We cannot let this war tear our family apart, like it has so many others. We can’t. It was my job to protect the American people from this kind of war. I failed them Peter. I failed them and protecting them was my job Peter. I failed them and there’s nothing I can do about it anymore. The whole world is falling apart, and it’s partly my fault”.

Peter had set Jamie back in her crib next to the couch. I felt his hand on my back and rubbing it for a moment. He knew just how to make me feel better. But I couldn’t help but feeling that we had almost lost all hope of coming out of this war in one piece...

 

To Be Continued...


	4. Jamie and Maia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

September 11th, 2007

It’s nice that I found my mom’s old boss. Her family is very nice. It felt kind of weird seeing my mom’s boss have a baby. But I’ve never seen one being born before. It was actually kind of cool at the same time. I’ve never really had anyone to share anything with. When I was taken from my parents, I was an only child. I know I have a sister somewhere. Or at least I did. I don’t know if she’s even alive anymore. That woman from the future who claimed to be my sister, she really scared me.

Mrs. Morgan, or I mean, Nina, she’s letting me help take care of her new baby Jamie. Jamie really seems to like me. I play with her to try and keep my mind off of mommy. It’s hard being apart from her. I hope that she and Ben are alright. I’m playing with Jamie right now. Nina says it’s important to let a baby know that he or she is being loved all the same. I really feel bad for Nina and Peter’s son Will.

He’s so sick, and his dad doesn’t have a clue what to do for him anymore. I only wished they’d listen to me about the movement and what Jordan Collier is all about. If they’d just give him a chance, he could make the world better, for all of us. We wouldn’t have to live the way we do right now. In a way, it’s better if we’re in control. That’s what I keep telling mommy, but she doesn’t hear me though.

I saw Nina come into the room. She smiled. “Hey Maia. How’s it going with Jamie? She getting hungry yet”? I shook my head. I had become used to when Jamie got hungry. But the times were never the same when she ate. I knew Nina could see that I was sad, just below my mask of trying to be happy.

“No, she’s not hungry yet. She gurgles though when I play with her. Is that normal for her”?

I saw Nina smile at me more. She knew what she was doing. I noticed even though she was smiling at me, her eyes were sad. It was like she held this deep sadness inside of her. But mommy had taught me to never ask someone you don’t know very well about their problems. She smiled at me still.

“When she gurgles Maia, that means she’s happy. Babies that are this young can’t laugh yet, so they gurgle. That’s how they show you their happy. It’s almost time for dinner, you’re welcome to come down anytime you like”.

I shook my head yes. But in my mind, I didn’t want any food. I wanted mommy. I knew mommy was worried about me right now. But Nina and Peter are taking care of me. They are treating me as if I’m one of their own children. But I cannot stay with them forever. I had to get back to mommy somehow. I guess I shouldn’t be so mean to them sometimes. I’ve been doing that a lot lately.

“Okay Nina. You can take Jamie; I’ll be in the kitchen after I use the bathroom”.

She nodded her head and took Jamie from me. I sat down on ‘my bed’ in ‘my room’ when she left the room. I wasn’t very hungry. All I wanted was mommy. I knew Nina would worry if I didn’t come down for dinner, but I wasn’t hungry, and I felt tired most of the time now. Missing mommy took a lot out of me. I just hoped she would find me soon. That way I wouldn’t have to be so sad anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do all OC's.

September 11th, 2007 6:35 p.m.

I’m worried about Maia. She hasn’t come down for dinner and we’ve barely just finished our own. Will and Jamie were in the living room. Jamie was sound asleep in her crib, and Will was watching Bugs Bunny. Peter and I are the only ones left in the kitchen now. Peter could see the worried look written all over my face.

“Peter, I’m worried about Maia. She didn’t come down for dinner. Do you think something might be the matter with her? She seems alright, but I’m sensing there’s something else. She’s hiding something. I’ll bring a plate of food up to her. Maybe she’ll open up once she eats something”.

I went about trying to fix a plate of food, filling it with mashed potatoes and gravy, white bread and macaroni and cheese. Maia told me this was her favorite meal. Maybe I’d get through to her by giving her this. I felt Peter’s hand on my arm for a moment.

“Nina, we don’t know what’s wrong with her. I think we should hold off on the food until we figure out what’s going on. I’ll come upstairs with you if you’d like”.

I nodded my head, I’d like that. I put the plate of food in the refrigerator and went out into the living room, gathering Jamie up in my arms. Peter helped Will up from the couch and towards the stairs. My poor baby can barely hold his own weight anymore. When he and Peter got to the stairs, he had to carry Will up. I was already ahead of the two and on my way to our room to put Jamie down in her basinet. Once she was settled in there, and Peter had put Will in his room, who was happily playing with his fire trucks, we made our way towards the guest room. I was nervous, but I tried not to show it. I carefully opened up the door to the guest room. What I saw frightened me even more. I saw Maia sprawled on the floor nearly halfway under the bed. I went over to her and carefully looked her over. Something was wrong, and I could feel it in my gut.

Peter entered the room shortly after me and took in the scene in front of him. Being a doctor, he swung into action. I watched as he knelt down next to Maia’s small form. I put a hand over my mouth to suppress a gasp from coming out of it. He knew not to move a patient. Peter seemed afraid more than anything else right now. I saw him put a hand up to her back for a moment. He seemed very afraid of something. But what was it?

“I’m not getting any breath sounds out of her. She must have collapsed. 9-1-1 would be the logical choice to call, but it’s been off the hook for months. Help me turn her over. I’m going to have to perform CPR on her. Then, maybe once I get her breathing again, we can figure out what’s going on. Children don’t just collapse over nothing. This could be something very serious here.”

I nodded my head and carefully helped Peter turn Maia over. I had never seen her still before. I watched as Peter began compressions on her. I got tears in my eyes. I began to think. Diana I’m sorry. Peter and I are taking the best care of her. We don’t know why this happened to her. If only we could find the root of the source.

“Come on Maia. Don’t leave us. You can’t leave your mother and father alone. If we lose you, it’s on Nina and I. Come on Maia, come back to us”.

I kept shaking my head when nothing seemed to be working. I wasn’t going to accept that Maia was really gone. Diana would never forgive me. She’d have a heart attack if I told her that her daughter had passed away. But I wouldn’t let it come to that. Peter was a good doctor. He dealt with children all the time. When Rob passed away, Peter stepped up as head of Pediatrics and Obstetristics at Saint Michaels.

He dealt with women and children. My heart leapt into my throat when I heard Maia begin to sputter and cough.

“That’s it Maia. Good girl. You gave Peter and me quite a scare there. Your mother would have never forgiven me if we had lost you. We’re just glad you’re alright”.

Maia only looked at me with a blank stare on her face. She only got one of those looks when she was having a vision. But I don’t think that’s the case here. Peter kept looking at her very concerned.

“Maia, can you tell me what happened? Did you feel funny or smell anything right before you collapsed? It’s okay, you can tell me. We’re pals aren’t we”?

It was true Peter and Maia had become the best of friends. The last several weeks they have really bonded with each other. Peter was just there as a friend of course. I was just there as a friend too. Peter and I couldn’t replace her mother and father in any way. Peter and I both got worried when Maia still had that blank stare on her face. She worried us even more when she didn’t say anything.

“Maia, what is it? Did you see something just now? Come on sweetie you can answer me. Can’t you”?

When Maia kept looking at the wall just beyond me, I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. It was almost as if she had become a complete vegetable. I disliked using the term vegetable, but Maia was non-responsive, and she didn’t make eye contact with either of us.

“Maia, if you can answer us, please say something. What happened to you? Did you see something? Was it terrible”?

Maia still didn’t answer us. It was as if she were catatonic. Peter lifted her up and set her on the bed so he could examine her for a moment. The only thing that was constant was the rise and fall of her chest. I looked into her eyes, there was still joy in them, but it was deep, and she seemed very far away.

“Okay Maia, I’m just going to have a listen to your heart for a moment. This’ll be a little cold, but it won’t be that bad”.

As Peter was getting his stethoscope out, I saw Maia’s eyes grow wide, and full of fear. She began to cry and scream. Something was wrong with this picture. Peter and I could both sense it. I put a hand on Peter’s shoulder to stop what he was doing. I sat down on the bed next to Maia and pulled her into my arms. She hugged me tight. I rocked her back and forth for a moment, what was the matter?

“Maia, what's wrong? Does something hurt you? Peter can't help you, unless we can figure out what is going on.”

I held Maia away from me so that I could see what might be going through her mind. The look in her eyes made my skin crawl. It wasn’t sadness that hid behind those big brown eyes of hers, but rather something else entirely. But what could it be? Peter and I had to figure out why she collapsed and stopped breathing. I looked her over carefully, to see if I could detect anything out of the ordinary. She swallowed and took a breath. She then wiped the tears from her eyes and looked into mine.

“A-a man grabbed me! He grabbed me and told me not to move. He was going to take me away! I told him to let go of me or I’d scream for help, but when I told him that, he wrapped his hands around my throat and I couldn’t breathe! I didn’t see any more after that... Don’t let him get me! Please!”

I looked at her neck; there were visible bruises around it. She had said a man wrapped his hands around her neck and she couldn’t breathe. These handprints are not big enough to be a man’s. I glanced down at her fingers. They matched her own. Maybe she’d had a nightmare, but to do this to herself? The pieces to this puzzle didn’t quite fit together correctly.

“Maia look at me, sweetie. I think you were having a nightmare. Those handprints around your neck are your own. Sometimes when we dream, things seem very real. I think that’s the case here. Now, I think Peter should have a look at that”.

Maia kept shaking her head no at me. She was still holding onto me for dear life. I had never seen her act this way before. After all, I was not her mother. But I could settle for a good friend. Peter and I grew more concerned over her state of health now. We had to find her mother. I had hope that this would just blow over and this had been nothing but a bad dream. Peter carefully went back to what he had been doing previously.

“Maia relax, I want to take a look at this bruising around your neck. So, you were saying a man wrapped his hands around your throat Maia? I think you were having a nightmare, because these marks came from your hands. It’s perfectly natural to be afraid of nightmares. I should know I have plenty. But know this Maia, they aren’t real. They can’t hurt you. You know why? Because they are just dreams. You can’t get hurt in them...”

As I held Maia in my arms still, like a small child, I could tell she wasn’t completely sure she could believe Peter or not. I’m thinking the emotional stress is finally getting to her. These nightmares she was having, it could very well coincide with the visions she’s been having lately. But it could very well have just been a nightmare. As Peter gingerly probed at Maia’s throat, examining it carefully, she grabbed for something on the side table next to the bed. I had given her a blank journal to write her visions in. Only because I knew they would come in handy later down the road. I could see the pages were nearly full, and soon it would be time to fill the pages of a completely new journal altogether. Maia flipped to a page in the middle of her diary and read me a passage from it.

“A man grabbed me; he pulled me down to the ground and wrapped his hands around my throat. I couldn’t breathe, and I couldn’t scream for help, then everything was suddenly dark...”

A shiver issued forth down my spine. So, she’d seen it in a vision, but turned out to be a dream? Or did I have it backwards? Maia flinched away from Peter as he probed the bruising around her neck more.

“Peter, that hurts.”

I couldn’t shield her from the pain, but I could try. She just needed someone to comfort her right now, especially at such a confusing time in her life. My mothering instincts got the better of me, and I felt like I was comforting a small child.

“I know it hurts sweetie. But it’ll be okay...”

I knew something had to be done before it was too late. The longer we stayed here though, the worse the war would get, and the greater the risk was of soldier’s coming in and taking Maia away. We knew what the rules were regarding hiding a 4400 in your house, but it was a risk Peter and I were willing to take.

“Maia, did you happen to see this in one of your visions? Or was this from some crazy nightmare? But that doesn’t explain why you were lying on the floor halfway under the bed unconscious and not breathing. Back to my original question I asked before: did you smell anything strange before you lost consciousness? Anything at all?”

Maia shook her head no and kept her tight grip on me. I felt like I was holding a five year-old rather than a thirteen year-old. It was almost as if she were regressing to childhood again.

“I already told you, both of you, a man was choking me and then I couldn’t breathe. Don’t you believe me?”

I tried my best to give Maia a reassuring smile, but it wasn’t working very well. I heard noise come from the baby monitor I had set down on the dresser in the guest bedroom. It was crackling and making a lot of noise. I stopped and listened to Will’s uneven breathing. He’s worse off now that he was yesterday. Peter and I had to check up on him. I could hear him begin to moan. He usually only moaned when he went into seizures. My heart began to beat wildly at the thought.

“Peter, listen to Will, he’s moaning. You know what that means don’t you? He usually only moans like that when he’s seizing. We have to help him. Get some Phenobarbital just in case. We don’t wanna take any chances here.”

Peter did a double take on me. Yes, sometimes I really startled him when I talked the way I did. I knew what he was thinking, why didn’t I become a doctor? You know, I really don’t know why I didn’t in the first place. I had a real knack for this stuff.

“Now who’s being the doctor in this situation? Okay, Phenobarbital it is then. But before I give it to him, I want to check his vitals. I’m hoping this is just a bad dream and he’s not seizing at all.”

I nodded my head and had Maia sit down on the bed. Peter would be back to check up on her in a little while. When Peter and I got to Will’s room, my heart leapt into my throat, but my brain kicked into overdrive and went straight to him. I took a deep breath, as hard as this was for me, seeing my son like this, I knew I could get him through all this alright.

“Will, its mommy, can you hear me?”

Suddenly, I felt helpless. How could I help my son? How could I? I was just one person. I watched as Peter held Will in place on his side leaning over him. I carefully placed a towel in his mouth so that he wouldn’t bite down on his tongue, and then I held his head steady. Peter looked at me with confidence; he wanted me to do something I could tell.

“Nina, you’re going to have to give Will that Phenobarbital. I’d do it but I don’t think you can hold a seizing four year-old child. I am holding him down with all my weight. Now, what I want you to do is to inject the Phenobarbital into his left arm. I’ve got his arm, just be careful. Make sure you find his vein.”

I nodded my head, though unsure if this was going to work. I tapped Will’s arm twice to make sure I found his vein. I then pulled the cap off the syringe and gently slid it into his vein. I pushed the plunger, and in went the Phenobarbital. Pulling the syringe out, I sighed in relief. He was starting calm down. Then he finally stopped seizing. I watched my son for what seemed like an eternity.

Soon, his uneven breath sounds were coming at a more even rate than they had a few minutes ago. I saw him relax under Peter’s restraint. This would be a good time to check his vitals. Peter pulled out his stethoscope and put it up to Will’s tiny chest and listened. My heart wouldn’t stop pounding in my chest. I took a few deep breaths, and it seemed to ease my racing heart somewhat.

“Okay, breath sounds are returning to normal. His heart rate is a little high, but slowing to a normal pace and rhythm. You know, I’d just like to figure out where these seizures are coming from. If they are a result from him not having any Insulin in his body, then we’re running out of time. I promise you I will get that Insulin for him from James Carlington if it’s the last thing I do.”

I turned to the doorway when I heard someone clear their throat. Maia’s eyes were big as saucers, and she looked more scared than worried.

“What’s going on with Will, and why did you have to give him that shot for?”

I opened my mouth, but then closed it again. I didn’t really know how to explain this to someone her age, though I knew very well she would be able to understand me. I’d have to get Peter to explain it to her. Peter had read my mind.

“Will’s doing fine now. Nina and I had to give him a shot to help him stop having a seizure. We don’t know why he’s having them. They just started appearing one day. Before Saint Michael’s shut down, we took him to every doctor we thought could help him out, but they couldn’t find any reason why this was happening to him.”

I saw Maia nod her head, but she was still unsure of what was happening to Will. He’d come out of this alright though, he would. I turned my attention back to Will, he was sleeping heavily. I’ll start to worry if he doesn’t wake up within half an hour. I couldn’t stand to see my son like this, but, once we got the medicine from Carlington, things would get better, for all of us...

 

To Be Continued...


	6. Trouble comes knocking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

October 5th, 2007, 7:15 a.m.

I had the dream again last night... The one about that man, Gabriel Hewitt... The one that becomes president in the near future somewhere and throws all 4400’s and people who help them into a bad place with barbed wire surrounding it... I’m so scared that I might be taken away from here and thrown in there... I’m not only afraid for myself anymore, but for both Nina and Peter too... And both Jamie and Will...

They could all be thrown in there with me... I don’t want them to be punished just because they are hiding me in their home... They are only trying to protect me... But I don’t know how long they can protect me... Things are getting worse outside everyday... I couldn’t sleep now because of the dream, even though it’s still early. I turned over and tried to get comfortable again.

It wasn’t working. So, I decided to get dressed and get out of bed. Once I was dressed I made my way down the stairs. I heard noise in the kitchen. I slowly and quietly as I could went through the swinging door trying not to make a sound. I saw Nina at the kitchen table trying her best to feed Jamie. Peter was over at the kitchen counter reading from a cookbook and trying to make breakfast. Neither of them suspected that I was there. I smiled and watched as Nina fed Jamie. Jamie was getting fussy.

I heard Nina speak to Peter suddenly, and then I was embarrassed by what they were talking about. Grown-up stuff you know?

“Peter, Jamie’s getting restless anymore and she won’t feed from my left breast anymore... Do you think there’s something I’m doing wrong”?

My face turned bright red, but I was trying my best to hide it. Since they didn’t know I was in the room at the moment. I saw Peter turn halfway towards Nina, and then began to speak not looking at her while he poured four eggs into a metal bowl for whisking... Mmm, pancakes...

“Well Nina, if she’s not feeding from that breast, change and use the right... She’s probably getting tired of breastfeeding from the left side because that’s the side you always feed her on. Give the right a try...” Peter turned on his last sentence towards Nina, and that’s when he saw me. My face felt like it was on fire now. I was embarrassed that I had walked in on such a private conversation. Mommy says to never walk in on someone’s private conversation, even if it’s someone you know... I spoke up, trying to clear the air of uneasiness in the room. “Hi... Sorry I interrupted your guy’s’ conversation... I was trying to be as quiet as possible... So, what’s for breakfast Peter? Anything good? Not that you make bad things... I think your cooking is wonderful... Pancakes”?

I knew Peter could see the look on my face now, I was seeing something, someone coming into my view. A vision right now is not what I needed. There are five men, there at the front door. The man in the front is wearing a suit... A really expensive suit... The four men behind him, are dressed in armor and uniforms... Guns slung at their shoulders... These men with him are soldiers... The man in the nice expensive suit, I can kind of see his face... No, it’s that man from the picture in my dream... My vision continued as I saw Nina opening the front door.

“May I help you gentlemen”? The man from my dream stepped forward and grinned at her. I was scared of him... He was going to take me away for sure, I just knew it. I listened to him speak to Nina, Peter showing up next to her as he did.

“Are there any 4400’s in this house? Are you hiding any? Because if you are, you’ll be arrested and prosecuted with the full extent of the law... (Turns to a man behind him...) Search the whole house, and don’t leave anything unturned gentlemen...”

Suddenly, I find myself hiding somewhere... I’m crying, but trying to keep quiet at the same time... I hear the men’s footsteps as they searched every room in the house... I didn’t recognize where I was hiding... It looked like the closet, but I wasn’t sure exactly... Wait there’s a panel in the closet somewhere... Nina had shown me it the other day, in case these soldiers came looking for me. I could hear the men ransacking everything... I heard glass break nearby...

Nina had placed something heavy, a piece of furniture; I think it’s a dresser of some sort in front of the panel so that no one would suspect the panel leading to the room inside the closet. I could hear someone opening the closet door. Then my vision ended. I swallowed hard with tears in my eyes. Both Peter and Nina caught on and both, at the same time spoke up.

“Maia, what’s wrong? Did you have another vision”?

I nodded my head, and just like clockwork, there came a knock on the front door. My heart began to beat really fast. It’s them... They’ve come for me... I have to hide! I heard a voice from my place at the kitchen table from behind the front door. It was loud, but muffled...

“Do any 4400’s live here? Out with you if you are”!

I shrank down in my seat. I saw Peter stop mixing the pancake batter with the whisk and look at me. He moved quickly grabbing my hand in the process. He had to hide me, and quickly... I’m hoping they wouldn’t find me... I saw Nina try to act calm and keep a straight face. Peter and I made our way up the stairs. Once I was in the master bedroom, Peter shut the door and opened up the closet. He pulled out the heavy dresser and opened up the panel inside the closet.

I was afraid to go in there, but it was the only way to be safe. Peter whispered to me just as I was stepping into the panel in the closet.

“Maia, remember don’t make any noise. Those men, those soldiers, won’t suspect anything if you don’t make any noise. With this dresser in front of the panel here, it’ll be like it doesn’t exist at all... I know its dark in there, but its only for a little while until those men leave... You’ll be safe I promise... Nina and I promised nothing bad would happen to you while you were here... Remember stay quiet... I’ll come and get you as soon as I can...”

I climbed into the darkened room just behind the paneling in the closet. Normally I wasn’t afraid of the dark, but there was no light to go by in this little room... I sat down on the floor hoping that I would be safe... Please don’t let them find me... Please... I could hear Nina’s muffled voice downstairs, answering the man on the other side of the door... I could tell she hadn’t opened it yet...

“No, no 4400’s live here... What do you want”?

I heard her unlock the door and open it up. I heard struggling downstairs. Then I heard Peter’s heavy footsteps. Nina’s voice sounded frantic... I didn’t want anything to happen to this family... Nothing at all...

"Get your hands off me! Don’t touch me! Peter, would you kindly tell these gentlemen to let go of me...”?

I swallowed hard once more and listened to Peter’s response. He was afraid, I could hear the fear in his voice, but he was trying so hard not to be afraid...

“Gentlemen, if you’d so kindly let go of my wife, she’s in a very delicate condition right now, and I don’t want anything to happen to her...”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had to think of something fast, these men were going to ransack my house looking for Maia, and I had to protect her at all costs... Somehow, though, I knew the questioning of who I worked for would come up. I listened as Gabriel Hewitt spoke to me in the most demeaning tone I had ever heard in my life.

“I know who you are. You’re Nina Jarvis. Former director of the Pacific Northwest Division of the National Threat Assessment Command. So, you should know the rules regarding 4400’s. You dealt with them practically every waking moment of your existence. Now, do tell me, are you hiding any 4400’s in this house? Are you hiding any? Because if you are, you’ll be arrested and prosecuted with the full extent of the law... (Turns to a soldier behind him) Search the whole house, and don’t leave anything unturned gentlemen...”

I swallowed hard. I wasn’t going to let them find Maia. I had to protect her. I cringed as one of the soldiers grabbed my arm. I wanted him to let go. He was very strong... I watched as he took something out from his pocket. Peter tried to go at him, but two of the other soldiers held him back. It looked like some sort of syringe. I looked away as he slid the syringe into my arm. I then bravely looked into his eyes, teeth clenched, and spoke.

“This will accomplish nothing... Whatever “poison” you’re giving me, remember this, it’s not only affecting me, but the fetus growing inside of me...”

The soldier stood unflinching, staring at me... I hoped he wasn’t getting any gross ideas here... I was feeling very sluggish as the moment. Something was wrong. What had the soldier given me just now? I slowly looked up into the soldier’s eyes when I felt myself falling... I spoke up in a panicked voice.

“What did you just give me? What did you just do to me! Tell me”!

On the contrary though, these soldiers and Gabriel Hewitt didn’t have to tell me anything. About what they were doing, and who they were looking for. I felt the soldier take the syringe out of my arm, and I felt like a helpless ragdoll... My heart was racing suddenly. This wasn’t normal at all... My breathing was coming out in short gasps, and I was trying my best to control it. The soldier then got down to my level and spoke to me, in the same demeaning tone as Hewitt had.

“Sorry, what I gave you is classified. Can’t tell you what it is. But I can tell you this, it’ll speed your heart rate up, your breathing is going to become laborious and any moment now, you’ll be breaking out into convulsive spasms”.

I shook my head no. This wasn’t happening. I’d fight against whatever he gave me with each and every breath I had in my being. He had no right to do what he just did to me... I tried to analyze what he had just told me. But my mind was slowly being clouded over. I heard him speak to Peter. His demeaning tone only deepening.

“And you, I am honored to meet the much talked about, and much accomplished Doctor Peter Morgan... I’ve heard a lot about you.... And I heard about that child who suffered 3rd degree burns on about 60 percent of her body... Why couldn’t you save her? You had all the right tools... Tell me, why didn’t you save her”?

I gritted my teeth and glared at the soldier in front of me... He had no right to single out my husband... He worked very hard to earn the respect and admiration of others. I would not let this become a scandal. I wouldn’t. I was fuming now... My body by now, was beginning to twitch. I couldn’t stop it now. I tried to lie down on the hardwood floor and move as far away from things as possible. Regardless of what was happening to me, it was as if I were having an Epileptic seizure. The two soldiers that were holding Peter let him go. I saw him come into my line of vision.

“Nina, honey, relax. I think I can get you something that can reverse the side effects of whatever he gave you... I’ll have to get you the right dose though... That might be a little hard to find... Since there are so few medical supplies these days...”

Then suddenly, as if none of it had ever happened, I stopped convulsing. I smiled to myself. This soldier whoever he was, didn’t know the correct dosage it seems even if it bit him on the nose. Some lousy doctor he’d make, and if he was one, I feel sorry for him... I carefully pulled myself up from the ground I had been lying on. These soldiers had no control over me. I stood up on unsteady legs. Steadying myself with the banister railing was the only thing keeping me up at the moment. I nearly spit on the men in front of me.

I knew that spitting wasn’t lady-like or even seen in respectable places and societies, but I was angry at these men for coming through and trashing my house... I spoke up, my voice quaking with fear.

“I want you men out of my house right now... You’ve destroyed it enough as it is...”

I could hear the men all over the house, knocking down everything they could find, to find evidence that Maia was in the house. Who did these men think they were anyways? These men reminded me of some very unsavory people who are burning in hell right now... I shivered at the thought... Although, we lived in America, and this type of behavior is against the law, they reminded me a whole lot of the Gestapo... Vile people they were too...

Glass was breaking everywhere... I hoped to high heaven that Jamie wouldn’t start crying... That’d give away that I wasn’t pregnant anymore... Though I really don’t know why I was hiding that little detail from them... I saw two of the four soldiers start ascending the staircase. One burst into the master bedroom. I swallowed hard. Please don’t find Maia. Please don’t find her and take her away... Please stay out of my closet, and don’t find the panel behind the dresser in the closet... Please don’t find Maia...

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My heart began to race as two soldiers went up the stairs and burst into the master bedroom. I hoped that they wouldn’t find Maia. These men had no right to come into our house like this. It was unlawful and it was against the law to do so. And what they did to my wife, they’d have a huge lawsuit against them if I can figure out what they gave her... I was about to go up the stairs, but stopped when I heard a thud on the floor. I turned to see my wife on the floor, confusion written on her face and going into convulsive spasms. I did my best to try and help her through what she was going through. Her muscles seemed to be contracting... Whatever that soldier gave her was strong... She stopped convulsing and looked at me. She spoke up, clenching her teeth.

“Make those men get out of our house... I want them out, and I want them to stop torturing us... It’s just too much... What they are doing is wrong...”

My wife was being brave through all this... I watched as she made her way up the stairs with the help of the banister. She wasn’t very steady on her legs at the moment. I kept my hand up against her back to help support her so she wouldn’t fall back down the stairs... We went up the stairs hand in hand... Determined that we’d get these men out of our house... I helped my wife into bed when we reached our room. She seemed a little better for the most part. My heart leapt into my throat as a soldier went towards the closet and opened it up. I held my breath as he spilled the contents of it all over the bedroom floor. I hoped he wouldn’t find Maia in the closet.

Behind the dresser hiding the compartment to the small storage place. Not finding what he was looking for, the soldier quickly shut the door to the closet, pulling it off its hinges breaking it in the process. I was angry/horrified by what these soldiers were doing to my house. Finally, the soldier stopped. Gabriel Hewitt came into the room, not satisfied with his results from his little ‘raid’ on the house. He went over to the closet and dug around a little more. My heart about stopped when he began to tug on the dresser in front of the hidden panel. He moved the dresser in front of the panel. He glared at me when he saw the closed panel. He spoke to me and asked what was behind it.

“Tell me Doctor Morgan, what do you keep behind this panel in the wall here? Are you hiding anyone in here? If you are, you’re under arrest”. I stood my ground and shook my head no. There was nothing in there. I wouldn’t tell them Maia was in there. There was plenty of space for Maia to move, where they couldn’t find her. Plenty of hidden places they wouldn’t dream of looking. I spoke up. “We just store our boxes and my wife’s sewing in there. I swear that’s all that’s in there. Check if you don’t believe me”.

I held my breath as the soldier went into the hidden compartment. Maia was hiding there. I could see his flashlight bouncing off the walls in the little room. He wasn’t going to find Maia in there. He wasn’t. The flashlight continued to bounce off the walls in the compartment in the closet. After five minutes, he came out, apparently satisfied by what I told him. Maia had been spared from being taken away. I listened as the nameless soldier spoke up.

“All clear here. Let’s check the attic. There could be a Promicin positive hiding in there”.

When the soldiers, and Gabriel Hewitt left the room, I sighed in relief. But just because they left the room, didn’t mean that it was safe to let Maia out of the hidden room in the closet yet. The look on Nina’s face made me want to burst into tears. But I had to hold out, for my family. She was worn out, I could tell. But there wasn’t much I could do to help her unless I could figure out what that soldier gave to her. I listened as she spoke up.

“Peter, what’s going to happen to us? What if they go back in the hidden compartment in the closet and find her? I can’t bear to see her taken away. We’re supposed to be looking after her. I promised her that much. I won’t let her down”.

I honestly didn’t know what was going to happen to us, and I hoped that those soldiers didn’t get any ideas and go back into the hidden compartment in the closet only to find Maia. She was safe for now. But for how much longer? I couldn’t keep playing this game with these soldiers. Somehow though, I knew that if they didn’t find what they were looking for today, then they’d come back some other time and look again. I spoke up in hushed tones so the soldiers wouldn’t hear me.

“Don’t worry Nina, I won’t let them find her either. I promised her too that we’d both keep her safe. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Just sit tight; these men should be done with their little sweep of the attic in a few minutes. I hope she’s doing okay in there...”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I could hear both Nina and Peter talking, but wasn’t sure that they were talking about me. I didn’t like hiding in here anymore. I wasn’t afraid of the dark; I just didn’t like the spider webs and the small space. I didn’t tell mommy that I didn’t like small places. Mostly because I’ve never been in one before. I didn’t know how much longer I was going to last in here though; it was getting harder to breathe. I was trying my best to stay calm.

I could hear the soldiers above me. I was so scared when that soldier came in here; I was so sure he’d find me. I’m hiding in a small closet with almost no space to move. Peter had said it was one of the safer places to hide in this room, but not the most comfortable. I hoped he would get me out soon. I listened as the soldiers came down the attic stairs and back to where we were. I held my breath as they came into the bedroom. I heard the one that looked for me speak up.

“All clear. It seems you’ve gotten off the hook easily for now Doctor Morgan. We’ll be back though. You won’t know when, how, or why. Just that we’re coming. For you, you’re family, and any 4400 you may be hiding... Thank-you for your cooperation...”

I swallowed hard. I also wondered what Peter might be thinking. That soldier wasn’t very nice. I was scared of them, and Gabriel Hewitt. I didn’t want them to come back, because what if next time they found me, then we’d all be taken away. I hoped I had no more visions about him, or his soldiers. More than anything now, I wanted mommy. I listened quietly as the soldiers went down the stairs and out the front door, slamming it shut. It seemed like five minutes before I heard Peter moving the dresser from in front of the room. I still couldn’t breathe.

I began to think to myself. Get me out of here! I saw him when he moved the flashlight. He helped me out of the closet and had me sit on the bed. I listened as he spoke up. “Maia, I want you to relax. Take a deep breath. Look at me, relax”. I couldn’t relax though. I was too scared to relax. I was afraid those soldiers might come back. I felt like my throat was tightening shut. Somehow though, I knew that Peter would tell me that it was all in my head. I shook my head. I couldn’t speak. I heard Peter speak to me.

“Maia, try to relax. Take a deep breath and let it out. Relax. (Turns to Nina) Honey, why don’t you try talking to her? She seems to be hyperventilating. I need her to relax. If she keeps this up, it’ll eventually turn into a full-fledged panic attack”.

I was trying my best to follow what Peter was telling me, but it was hard to. I still felt like my throat was closing up. He was looking at me seriously now. What was happening? Why did I feel like my throat was closing up? Was something wrong with me? I saw Nina look at me; she knew something that I didn’t. I listened as she spoke up.

“Peter, I don’t think she’s hyperventilating. Her lips are turning blue. Allergic reaction to something”.

I looked at Nina panicking. Me? Allergic to what? I wasn’t allergic to anything... But maybe I was allergic to something and I just didn’t know it. People do have allergies and don’t know about them until it’s almost too late. While I was hiding in the closet inside the room, I had walked into a spider web. I knocked it down, and then I had felt something crawling on me. It felt like something pinched me, and then I brushed it off... I heard Peter speak up.

“Maia, I’m going to have to ask you to open your mouth. Say aw for me. Good girl. There we go. I can’t really see anything. It’s all swollen and red. Did something bite you”?

I nodded my head and showed Peter my arms. I had been bitten by a spider several times. Strange, I wasn’t allergic to spiders before. But some spiders were poisonous. I had to remember that. I was scared. What was going to happen to me? Peter looked at my arms, they were all red. I wanted to scratch them, but Peter told me not to.

“No Maia, I don’t want you to scratch them. What I’m going to do right now is give you something to open up your throat. I won’t lie to you. It’s going to hurt, but after that, you’ll be able to breathe easier. Relax”.

I didn’t like things that hurt, but at least I’d be alive. I saw Peter take something from his bag. I looked away, I didn’t like needles. I really didn’t. I listened as Peter spoke up once more.

“Okay Maia, what I’m going to do is stick this needle into your leg. I want you to try and relax as much as you can alright”?

I nodded my head and I shut my eyes when I felt the needle being jabbed into my leg. Instantly, I could breathe again. What had he just given to me? I began to cough a little. Peter spoke to me.

“That’s it Maia. Breathe. Good girl. Take calm deep breaths. There we go. Relax. That’s it... Now, can you tell me what bit you”?

I nodded my head. As soon as I could catch my breath I’d tell him. I took another deep breath to make sure. Then I spoke up.

“I walked into a spider web in the closet in the room and a couple of spiders bit me. I don’t know why that happened to me. I’m not allergic to anything. Unless the spiders were poisonous”.

Peter’s eyes widened as I told him what had happened to me. I wanted nothing more than to be safe. I looked over at Nina. What had happened to her while I was hiding in the hidden place in the closet? I could see her shaking. I spoke to her, trying my best to hide the fear in my voice.

“Nina, what happened to you? Why do you shake like that”?

Something must have happened to her while I was hiding. But what? Peter looked at me and spoke up.

“While you were hiding, one of those soldiers with Gabriel Hewitt, he gave Nina something. I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is yet. But I have a theory. I’m thinking somewhere along the lines of something similar to Epilepsy. I’ve got something that just might stop it. But I have to find the right dose first”.

I heard Jamie begin to cry. She was over in the basinet by the bed. How could the soldiers have not seen her? I carefully went over to Jamie and picked her up out of the basinet holding her close to me and making sure I kept my hand behind her head. Nina seemed to stop shaking for a moment. I didn’t know how long this would last though. I listened as she spoke to Jamie.

“Jamie, sweetie, I know your hungry. Mama knows you’re hungry. I just don’t know if it’s safe to feed you. Let’s see what daddy says okay”?

I tried my best to keep Jamie from crying, but she wasn’t very happy at the moment. Her cries only got louder. Boy, she’s got a set of lungs on her. Peter took Jamie from me hoping that she would stop crying. She only got louder still. I watched as he tried rocking her, but that didn’t seem to help. She kept crying. She was really hungry. I listened as Peter spoke to her, hoping his voice would help her calm down.

“Jamie, Jamie... It’s okay sweetie. It’s okay... Ya, no llores chiquitita. Everything’s going to be just fine. You’ll see. We’ll make mommy all better and then you’ll be able to eat again… Okay”?

I smiled at Peter. He was trying his best to be brave. I could see that. But I was worried for the whole family. I was only a guest. How could I explain to them that I wasn’t allergic to spiders? Peter looked at me seriously for a moment and then spoke up.

“Maia, I think you should put some Calamine lotion on those spider bites. It’ll help stop the itch. I’ll make sure to find those spiders and get rid of them. I don’t want another repeat of what just happened to you”.

I could see Peter had an idea. But could he pull it off? I had seen the mess that the soldiers had made in the room. I heard Will in the next room. He was screaming at the top of his lungs. He wanted his mom.

“Owie! Mommy! Mommy”!

I looked over at Nina who seemed sad that she couldn’t be with her son at the moment. Maybe Peter would want me to go to him? I wasn’t sure... I spoke up, trying to clear the air of uneasiness in the room.

“Peter? Would you like me to go and check on Will? I know he wants Nina, but she can’t get out of bed right now. And you’re helping her and Jamie both right now. Should I go and make sure he’s okay? I’ll tell him a story to make him feel better if that’ll help”.

Peter smiled at me. We were buddies. He knew he could trust me with this. I listened as he spoke up.

“I think that would be a very good idea Maia. I think Will would love it if you read to him. He loves it when people read to him. In the meantime, while you do that, I’m going to get Nina something to reverse whatever that soldier did to her. And then, Jamie can eat. I would also like you to put some Calamine lotion on your arms. Make sure your rub it in real well. Just wipe the excess off with a towel in the bathroom”.

I nodded my head, but somehow, I don’t think things were going to go so well. We were losing this war everyday... Those men, I knew would come back for me. It was just a question of when now...

To Be Continued...


	7. Peter's dilemma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

November 1st, 2007

I cannot stress the importance of having Insulin for my son. I know I shouldn’t bargain with people for things, but during a war, when things are rationed, and there are shortages of things, it often at times is necessary. I’ve bargained with a man down the street who says he’s got boxes just chalk full of the much needed Insulin for my son. Now, my moral dilemma here is, what if this man wasn’t telling me the truth? Then I could really lose my son. We’ve kept him alive this long on muscle relaxants and keeping his blood sugar levels up to where he can still function somewhat...

Now, do I trust the man or not? My gut told me otherwise. I feel like I’ve become the primary caretaker for this family all of a sudden. Nina’s better, she doesn’t have any more convulsive spasms. But I have three children to tend to now. Will seems to be worse than ever, and Maia is stuck in bed today because of another allergic reaction caused by another black widow spider. Jamie seems to be doing much better for the most part. She’s been eating pretty healthy. We’re just lucky we have food stockpiled around the house. In our other house, we were nearly starving.

I know that the food we have won’t last forever. Nina and I seem to fight over that constantly now. But we shouldn’t fight now. We really shouldn’t. But running low on food is causing us to be more irritable lately... Everyone fights over food these days. Some of our neighbors, they’ve gotten so desperate for food; they send their children out in the streets to beg for food... We haven’t gotten that desperate for food yet. I hope we don’t get to that point either. I look over at Nina, she seems better for the most part. But sometimes, she isn’t quite herself. I spoke to her as she focused her attention on breastfeeding Jamie at the moment.

“Nina, honey, I know I’ve told you before, our neighbor, James Carlington, he says he has medical supplies. He says he has boxes just chalk full of the much needed Insulin we need for Will. Now I know how you feel about James Carlington. I know he’s not the best person to be dealing with this kind of stuff on this block, but I think it’s worth the risk don’t you”?

Nina could only give me a look I wasn’t entirely sure I could even read. Then her expression saddened a bit. Her eyes became wide with fright and worry. Tears began to form in her eyes. She was afraid for me, and what would happen if I went out into the world to get those supplies for our son. But it’s a risk I’m willing to take for my son. If it’ll save his life, I’ll do it. I was a doctor. I was used to making life altering decisions every day. I saw my wife shake her head no at me and speak up. “No Peter. I know you think it’s the best thing for our son. But I just don’t trust James Carlington at all.

The other day I saw Mrs. Sarnansen over there from three doors down, and she was asking for some prenatal pills. James Carlington actually had the balls to ask her for 50 bucks in trade for them... Willingly, she gave the 50 dollars to him and took the pills... Heaven help her and that baby she’s carrying. It makes me wonder sometimes how she can raise little Ellie all by herself since her husband Eddy passed on. Peter, you should check on her more often, one of these days, she’s going to need a doctor to help her deliver that baby of hers”. I nodded my head.

Usually I had made it a habit to check up on Mrs. Sarnansen. But lately, it’s been in the back of my head. I gave a quick peck on the cheek to my wife and gently placed a soft kiss on Jamie’s head, only she continued eating. I spoke up, confident I’d get what we needed to help Will get better.

“I’ll be back. I’m going to make a deal with James Carlington. And it won’t involve money either. Greedy man he is, he doesn’t need anyone’s money. What’s money worth anymore anyways? Absolutely nothing. Ever since that madman Gabriel Hewitt came along, money has become absolutely worthless. I might make a quick pit-stop over at Mrs. Sarnansen’s to make sure she’s doing alright. Maybe check on Ellie too... Haven’t heard from them for awhile. You stay put; check up on Maia and Will. Jamie’s going to start fussing. She’s slipping away from your breast”.

I turned away from my wife and walked out of the room. Should I tell my son where I’m going? Or should I just go and come back? No, I had to go now, or I’d never do it. I quietly and quickly made my way down the stairs. I carefully made sure there wasn’t anybody hiding on the front porch. When I had my heavy wool coat on, I opened up the front door, and a cold blast of air came rushing in. I shut the door, making sure not to make too much of a ruckus.

The street just beyond the sidewalk in front of our house was completely deserted, besides a few leaves here and there. I was just about to make my way over to James Carlington’s house, when I saw a little girl. Her clothes were in tatters and she had no shoes. She had no coat, and she looked very frightened. At first, I couldn’t tell who it was.

As the little girl got closer, I recognized who she was. Ellie. But what was Ellie doing out here all by herself? I listened as she spoke to me.

“Please! Doctor Morgan! You have to help mommy! She fell in the kitchen and she won’t wake up”!

I carefully went over to Ellie and picked her up. I needed to find her some warmer clothes, these one’s she has on, just don’t suit her at all... I looked into her innocent brown eyes and spoke up.

“Ellie, sweetie, where are you shoes? And what happened to your clothes”?

Ellie could only look at me with tears in her eyes. I hoped those soldiers didn’t ransack their house too and steal clothes. They were real good at doing that to people just in spite of things... When we got to Ellie’s house, I slowly opened up the door. I called out to Mrs. Sarnansen to see if she could respond to my calls to her.

“Mrs. Sarnansen? If you can hear me, please say something... Make a noise, anything...”

When I heard nothing but silence I began to worry. Worry that something may be really wrong with her. I set Ellie down on the ground and she led me into the kitchen. What I saw next made me nervous. And I was the doctor! I looked over at Ellie and spoke to her. “

Ellie, sweetie, I want you to stand over there by the table until I can figure out what’s wrong with your mommy okay”?

Ellie nodded her head and stood over by the table. Mrs. Sarnansen didn’t look so good. She was pale. I put my ear up to her mouth to see if I could get any breath sounds out of her. She was breathing, though it was shallow. I kept my bag handy with me at all times these days in case I needed something from it. I carefully took out my stethoscope and put it up to Mrs. Sarnansen’s stomach. Things would be alright if I could figure out how the baby is doing inside her womb. I waited for a second as I began to feel something like the fluttering of butterfly’s wings. It was the baby kicking her. I quit holding my breath. I hadn’t realized I had been holding my breath until that moment. I spoke up, when I began to see her stir.

“Alex? Can you hear me? It’s Doctor Morgan. You know, your neighbor”?

I saw Mrs. Sarnansen shake her head from side to side for a minute and then open up her eyes and look at me. She tried her best to sit up, but I told her to stay down.

“No, lie back down Mrs. Sarnansen. It’s best if you don’t move right now. Do you remember what happened to you right before you fell? Did you smell anything funny? I’m hoping that this fall hasn’t caused you to go into labor. I’m not exactly prepared to help with a full-scale birthing process here... But I’ll do the best with what I’ve got...”

Alex Sarnansen looked at me very confused, as if she didn’t recognize me. I could feel, that at any moment now, she would start thrashing about, as if I were some crazy escaped prison convict trying to harm her. But I wasn’t. I saw her eyes flutter for a second. I listened as she spoke up.

“Who are you? And how did you get in my house”?

Mrs. Sarnansen was clearly confused by all this. I’d help her through this as best I could. But what was she seeing at the moment that I wasn’t? I spoke up again, trying to reassure her that everything would be alright.

“It’s alright Alex. You know who I am. I’m your neighbor, you know, Peter Morgan? I came over here to check on you... Ellie said you took a fall, so I came right over. Can you tell me what happened”?

She shook her head no and tried to move away from me. I saw her wince a little and look around the room. She was looking for someone. Little did I know, she was looking for her husband Eddy, who wasn’t here at the moment. I think she was mistaking me for someone different. He’d never be again. I listened as she spoke up.

“Eddy, why did you leave Ellie and me here alone? How could you just leave the two of us here alone in the house? You know I could go into labor any day now, and you go out to look for food? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do while your out there, possibly breaking your neck trying to find food for us huh? I need you here more than ever Eddy. Don’t do this to me again. You wanna find food, try looking closer to home next time, and not go absconding off looking for food within the city of Seattle itself... It’s dangerous... I need you home with me and Ellie.”

I could only shake my head at Alex. She must be in some sort of hallucinatory state right now. I took my pen light out from my coat pocket, and shined it in her eyes. As human instinct, she turned away. Her pupils were fixed and dilated. Hmm... I spoke up; trying to clear the confusion I was feeling at the moment.

“Alex, um, Mrs. Sarnansen, I’m not your husband. Eddy is no longer with us in the land of the living. He’s been gone nearly three months. I’m your neighbor, Doctor Morgan. I came to check on you. You took a fall, and I’m here to make sure your doing alright. Now, I’ve seen Ellie scratching her head a lot. Does she have something I should know about”?

She was still very confused about what I was talking about. It was as if she were in her own little world at the moment. Then as if what I said made total sense to her, she spoke up, in a daze.

“Doctor Morgan? What’s going on? And why am I on the floor? Did something happen to me”?

I nodded my head and helped her into a sitting position. Somehow, I don’t think this baby will be born today. I had to get her up into bed though. She looked as if she wasn’t getting much sleep. Before the war started, and my work became limited, I saw so many women at the hospital. Well, when you’re an Obstetrician, you kind of do see a lot of women... Okay, I’m side tracking here...

My job right now, is to help Mrs. Sarnansen out. Once I know that she’s in bed safely, and that Ellie’s okay, I’m going over to James Carlington’s house to barter for all that insulin he supposedly has stock-piled in his house. My son needs it badly... I carefully helped Alex to her feet. I listened as she spoke up once more.

“Doctor Morgan, I wouldn’t get too close to us. Ellie has a bad case of lice and I don’t want you to get it too... You asked what happened to her clothes. She threw most of them away because she was always feeling the lice crawling all over her. When is this nightmare going to end? Tell me... I don’t want my baby to be born in this war...”

That would make two women who didn’t want their children born during this war. My wife, in which she already gave birth to our daughter Jamie, and now, Mrs. Sarnansen. It’s not like I can turn back the hands of time to make it so she conceived and gave birth before the war... I helped her up and towards the stairs. I started to feel itchy on my head suddenly... I’d have to wash my hair very well now that I got lice from Ellie. It’s not her fault though... The water anymore isn’t as clean as it used to be, and the living conditions in which they were living in, weren’t very sterile at the moment... I spoke to Alex once we got to her bedroom.

“Alex, you know, the best thing for you to do right now, is to get some rest. And when you get back on your feet, help Ellie wash her hair with special lice shampoo... It works, but it’ll take anywhere between three and five days for it to go away... Everything that Ellie has touched has to be washed, and re-washed again... Running the dryer heat on high usually kills the lice... Cover as much as you can furniture wise... You don’t want it spreading... Now, since I’m here, you haven’t had a check up in at least three months. That was right before the hospital closed down. You skipped your appointment with me... Were you purposely avoiding me? Is there something going on that I don’t know about here? I’ve been your doctor your entire pregnancy. If there is something going on, or that you’re going through, you don’t have to be afraid to tell me... I’m listening...”

Alex was still very confused... But not as confused as when I had first found her lying on the floor of the kitchen. I think this war confused everyone. Somehow, I think that she was living in the past. She looked at me with sad eyes, and then I heard her speak up.

“Doctor Morgan, please... Don’t be upset with me, I missed my appointment, or rather, my appointments because I was feeling well, and I didn’t feel like they were necessary anymore. But of course, that’s no excuse to miss my appointments on purpose. I mean, what if something had gone wrong with the baby? You’d want to see me in right away... And now look at me, stuck in bed, without the faintest reason why. I guess it’s about time for you to see how the baby is doing anyways... I’ve been having strange sensations in my legs lately... The sensation of pins and needles... Never a good sign... Do you think its poor circulation”?

I looked at Mrs. Sarnansen. That kind of sensation isn’t typically normal for pregnant women to experience. Ellie must have gone to her room. I spoke to Alex, trying to keep her calm, and her attention on me.

“Okay Alex, I’m just going to have a quick look to see how the baby is doing, and then I’ll be on my way... Take a deep breath and relax if you have to... It’s alright... I will be right back. I’m just going to wash my hands before I get this started... You know, your getting pretty close to your due date. I’m sure the baby should already be in position. At least a week before the due date, fetuses tend to turn themselves around and should have their head facing downward...”

I walked out of the bathroom, and back towards Alex. She looked nervous. It was perfectly natural for her to be worried, and a little protective of her own child. I know I was. Nina had insisted that I not be so protective of her. But I couldn’t help it; I just wanted her pregnancy to go smoothly. Any doctor and father would want that for their family. Mrs. Sarnansen looked at me and took a breath, speaking up.

“All I want to know is if the baby is doing alright, and make sure he’s in the right position. Okay, let’s get this over with, I’m ready. I’ll try to relax as best as I can. One more thing, I have been having some problems with my sciatic nerve. Think the baby is leaning on something. My back is bothering me. I used to go to a massage therapist for my back, but since everything’s closed now, it’s hard to find someone to massage my back...”

I held my breath for a second. Then I shook my head and snapped on two pairs of latex gloves and went about my business. I looked at Alex and spoke up.

“Try to relax Mrs. Sarnansen. Good girl. Well from what I can tell here everything seems to be doing fine. Have you been up to date on all your vitamins? You been taking your prenatal pills? I want you to stay in bed for a few...”

I became alarmed when Alex began to moan and hold onto her swelling abdomen, something was wrong. Could this baby be in trouble? I’d have to check once more to be sure. But first, I had to figure out what was going on with Alex. I heard her speak up in a frantic, and panicked voice.

“Please! Doctor Morgan, you have to help me! Something’s wrong! Sharp pain in my abdomen! Please doctor, get my baby out! Please get him out! Please get him out! If something goes wrong with me, save my son! Get him out! Please, save him”!

I don’t know if I could make that kind of sacrifice between saving mother and child, or just saving the child. But I was a doctor, and like I said before, I made life altering decisions every day. The only problem with this little scenario that’s popped up is, labor can last for hours or days. I didn’t know what I was going to tell Nina if I had to stay here with Alex to help her deliver her baby, and it took days...

I took a deep breath to clear my head and my thoughts. I spoke to Mrs. Sarnansen in a calming voice.

“Okay, Mrs. Sarnansen, I want you to take a deep breath and relax. There we go, that’s it. What I’m going to do right now, is to help your son; I’m going to have to break your water. Now, you’re going to feel some pressure. Try as best you can to relax okay? Take a deep breath if you have to... That’s it... Your doing great... Once we get labor started, we can figure out what else might be going on okay”?

Mrs. Sarnansen took a deep breath and nodded her head. Tears were streaming down her face. I was going to do my best to save both her and her son. I was a doctor, I could improvise. Breaking her water was going to be tough... The baby was facing the right direction; but I was just having a difficult time finding a good spot to break it in... Finally, I found a weak spot in the sac and broke it. I saw Alex relax a little... But I think the stress of it all was getting to her. I listened as she spoke up.

“Doctor Morgan, get my son out please! I don’t think I can do this! This is too much! Please you have to help me and my son”!

I nodded my head knowing very well that this wasn’t going to be an easy delivery. Mrs. Sarnansen would have to start pushing in no time... Labor might be quick for her, or it might not... But I was sure as hell determined to save both their lives... Though she was clearly showing signs of severe stress... A contraction at the moment was grabbing hold of her, and I knew she was trying her best to keep breathing.

I was surprised to see that she was already dilated to six centimeters. It had only been thirty minutes... Maybe labor wouldn’t last long... I still had to keep tabs on her... Things could go south quickly if this wasn’t monitored with care. I spoke up, trying to sound confident. After all, this was Mrs. Sarnansen’s bedroom, not one of the delivery rooms at Saint Michael’s.

“Your doing great Mrs. Sarnansen. Your doing great. What I want you to do is to relax. That’s it. Good girl. You’re already dilated to six centimeters. It shouldn’t be long now. There haven’t been any complications so far, let’s hope we can get through this entire delivery without them shall we”?

Mrs. Sarnansen shook her head no at me. The look in her eyes would no doubt; soon enough create enough panic to well up inside of me to last a dozen lifetimes... She knew what was happening to her even if I didn’t at the moment. I listened as she spoke up.

“No doctor Morgan... It seems that every time I have a child, I start to hemorrhage, and it takes quite a while for the bleeding to stop... When I had Ellie, I bled for nearly 25 minutes before my doctors could get the hemorrhaging under control... Let’s hope this isn’t the case this time...”

I nodded my head and ignored the sweat forming at my left eyebrow. I remained calm; I’d have to keep a clear head if I was going to sheppard this little one into the world. I kept my focus, and by now, I was beginning to see the top of the baby’s head. She must be dilated fully if I’m beginning to see the top of the baby’s head already. This was a good thing, which meant that this delivery wouldn’t take too long at all... I spoke to Mrs. Sarnansen with a smile on my face, confident that everything would be alright.

“Your doing great Mrs. Sarnansen. I’m beginning to see the top of the baby’s head, you’re fully dilated... Now, I want you to give a great big push now... That’s it. Keep breathing that’s it. Keep pushing. The baby’s head is the hard part, so I want you to bear down and push. Push now, good girl. Baby’s head is out, the rest should come smoothly”.

The truth now was, there was so much blood. More than usual. I mean, I was used to seeing blood when I helped women deliver their children. But this stuff was just gushing everywhere... Even when I helped Nina deliver Jamie, she bled, but not gushing like what Mrs. Sarnansen is going through.

I was trying my best to help the baby out, and at the same time, I was trying to keep the bleeding under control. I stared at the baby in my arms. He was eerily quiet. My heart leapt into my throat, around this baby’s neck was the umbilical cord... I shook my head, but carefully went about cutting it from around his neck. I could get this boy breathing again. I could...

All he needed was a little coaxing. All I had to do now, was give him a little smack on the behind and hopefully he’ll start crying. I spoke to him, trying to see if I could get him to breathe without resorting to that at the moment.

“Come on, please breathe. I know you can do it. Come on breathe. That’s it, good boy. I need to hear a good scream from a good strong pair of lungs. Good boy... Mrs. Sarnansen, you have a wonderful little boy... What are you going to name him”?

I diverted my attention from the boys crying over to Mrs. Sarnansen. She was terribly pale, and she didn’t budge an inch. There were no breath sounds coming from her. I took a deep breath and kept myself in check. I began to think to myself. She can’t be gone. I quickly checked for a pulse. She was gone. There was no way she could come back. She had lost so much blood. If I didn’t stop now, I would begin to hyperventilate. I stepped away from Mrs. Sarnansen’s body and looked at the screaming baby in my arms that was her son. I saw Ellie show up in the doorway suddenly. She spoke up, and much to my surprise, her words filled me with dread.

“Mommy’s gone isn’t she? She said she knew this would happen if she had my little brother. Mommy was sick for a very long time. She said that if she went away after she had Eddy, that she would have you take care of us”.

This was all happening too fast. The room around me began to spin, and as it spun faster, Eddy’s cries got louder. I sat down in the chair to try and gain my bearings around me. What was I going to do? I couldn’t just take in a four year-old and a newborn without talking to Nina first.

Before I went any further, I’d have to figure out what I was going to do with Mrs. Sarnansen’s body. She’d have to be buried immediately. This was my dilemma. Mi dilema. I’d have to deal with this turn of events as best I could...

 

To Be Continued...


	8. To fight for my son's life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

November 6th, 2007

It’s been six days since Ellie said good-bye to her mother. Nina and I are taking care of both Ellie and Eddy. Ellie’s lice are nearly gone. Nina helps wash Ellie’s hair twice a day, every day. She loves her new clothes... Nina gave them to her, but can’t stand the sight because they belonged to Lexi... I think taking care of Ellie reminds Nina of Lexi. It’s the ringlets she has. Those dark flowing ringlets, like Lexi had. Not to mention that Ellie is about the same age as Lexi once was... I was startled out of my thoughts when Ellie placed a book in my lap and climbed into it.

“Uncle Peter? Will you read to me? Please? Aunt Nina says that you read to your little girl too, a long time ago...”

A lump began to form in my throat. Ellie knew about my Lexi-bug. It pained me to think of Lexi. But having Ellie here, only reminded me of the good times I had with my Lexi. It must have pained Nina a great deal to talk about Lexi. Though it was her sister Nora who had given birth to our Lexi, Nina was still her mother in everyway... I picked up the book and fingered its cover. Then I read the cover out loud.

“Goodnight Moon. By Margaret Wise Brown. Let’s turn the page. Good night kittens. And good night mittens... Goodnight chairs, and good night bears. Good night light. Goodnight red balloons. Goodnight sky. Goodnight stars...”

Ellie was enjoying herself. But she was also falling asleep. Ever since I couldn’t save Mrs. Sarnansen’s life, I’ve been battling with my ethics. Why couldn’t I save her? The answer was obviously very clear to me. She hemorrhaged too much, and I couldn’t stop it in time. After all, she did say that whenever she gave birth to a child, she would start to hemorrhage.

I’ve read her will, and she just said to take Ellie and Eddy in. She said nothing about if Nina and I became their guardians, or if they had any other family. I’m guessing she wanted a good home for them, regardless of everything that’s happened. Ellie was asleep now. My wife smiled on from the doorjamb to the den as she leaned on it heavily.

She hasn’t been getting much sleep since she’s taking care of both Eddy and Jamie now. We’ve been feeding Eddy by bottle, but he doesn’t take to it. Whenever Nina holds him, he gets closer to her breast. He doesn’t want the bottle. He wants to breastfeed. Though she pumps the milk out for him, and puts it in the bottle, he won’t take. I’m thinking maybe he’s sick. I listened as she spoke up in a hushed manner.

“Peter, we have to help Eddy. He’s getting fussy, I’m not up to par, and now Jamie’s getting fussy too... I think they’re both getting hungry. Eddy is getting more stubborn by the day. No matter how much milk I pump out and into a bottle, he won’t take it. Do you think it would be a good idea to start letting him breast feed? I don’t know...”

I smiled wearily at Nina. She had the right idea. The only problem with this is, if she started to let Eddy breastfeed, she’d get attached to him, and then want to keep him. But we had agreed that having Ellie and Eddy here was only temporary until we could find them a loving home. Ellie understood that, but I think she was sad that she couldn’t stay here with Nina and me.

There were, after all, only three rooms in the house. Maia was using the guest bedroom. I worry about her. Lately she’s had her ups and downs. But she seems to be getting sick again. And it isn’t because of a black widow spider. I knew the difference between the two. She seems more depressed than anything else. She must miss her mother more than ever now. I felt at some sort of loss as to how to help her. I spoke up, my voice sounding oddly enough more serious than I had intended it to be.

“Okay, since Eddy doesn’t seem to be taking to the bottle, I want to have another look at him. He might have something wrong. I’m thinking cleft palate. That could be why he’s not eating. But don’t quote me on that yet. I need to make sure. What I’m going to do right now is put Ellie down for a nap. You go and check on Jamie, and see if she wants to eat. Maybe Eddy will try to eat too. But I want you to wait until I come into the room. I’ll be right back”.

I picked Ellie up with ease and made my way up the stairs behind my wife. Even her movements seemed very weary. I kept going down the hallway even when Nina went into our bedroom. Ellie and Maia both shared a room. I know Maia should have her own room, while she’s here because she’s a teenager. Maybe I’d move Ellie in with Will for a little while. She won’t mind. They’re around the same age after all. I quietly opened up the door and carried Ellie into the room. I glanced over at Maia’s bed. She lay in it, asleep. All she did was sleep all the time now. I often heard her crying late at night. I was very worried, when she did eat, she didn’t eat much.

It seems she sulks in this room day and night. I didn’t have a clue on how to help her. She needed to eat to keep up her strength. I gently set Ellie down on the bed, carefully placing the covers over her. She turned over and went back to sleep. I shook my head at Maia. She needed to snap out of this. I knew she missed both her mom and dad, but the process was slow going at the moment. Nina has kept in touch with some people that had once employed her, since cell phones and electronics don’t seem to be working; she writes notes by hand the old fashioned way.

Maia’s eyes bolted open as I kept my eye on her for a moment. She only stared back at me, with an expression I couldn’t read at all. She seemed startled that I was in the room with her.

“Peter, why are you in here? Didn’t I tell you to stay out? The only two people I want in here with me right now are Nina and Ellie. I want you and Will to stay out...”

I felt offended by the way she had just spoken to me. She had better manners than that, I knew it. I think she was only angry with me because I woke her up, and all she does is sleep now. Well, now I think is as good a time as any to get up and get moving. She needs to get her blood moving. Besides, she promised to help Nina and I take care of Jamie, and now Ellie and Eddy. I spoke up, trying to be firm, but still be her friend at the same time.

“Maia, I know you miss your mom and dad very much, and Nina is doing everything in her power to find them again. It’s just going to take some time. We’ll find them, we promised you that. While you’re living under our roof, you’ll have to follow some of our rules. Now, I know you promised to help Nina and I take care of Jamie. I expect you to keep your part of the bargain. No more of this moping around okay? Nina’s going to see if she can try and feed Eddy. He hasn’t been eating...”

Maia’s face filled with concern right then. So, I had finally gotten her attention. By now, she had abandoned her bad mood she’d been in previously for me waking her up, and it was now replaced with concern and worry. Her voice sounded tiny as she spoke up.

“Is Eddy okay? How come he’s not eating? Is he sick”?

The tears in her eyes made me want to cry too. But I had to be strong for this family. Though from time to time, I cried. Men did cry, they don’t like to show it is all. I saw her struggle to get out of her bed. She had little to no energy. I helped her up. She staggered a bit as I propped her up, my arm steadying hers. I spoke, none too thrilled by the evidence I witnessed in front of me.

“I don’t know. He may be sick. And you missy, you need to start eating. You can barely stand on your own two feet as it is. Will I understand because of his medical condition and it’s hard to come by supplies for him. You on the other hand, have no medical conditions to speak of, except for a severe allergy to black widow spiders”.

Maia nodded her head and followed me into the master bedroom. Nina was having a hell of a time getting Eddy to calm down. He was crying at the top of his lungs. Nina over the last few days had learned to distinguish between his hungry cries and his hold me cries. The crying coming forth from him now was his hungry cries... I watched as she shook her head no and rocked him. She had already unbuttoned her shirt partially, but waited for me to say something. I spoke up concerned at the moment.

“I want you to try and see if he’ll eat. If he does, well, then that’s very good... But if he doesn’t, then we’re in trouble here...” Our only option had to work. He was a very sick little boy. I glanced over at Maia, she was very curious about what was going on. I then turned my attention back to Nina, who was watching carefully as Eddy grabbed hold of her and began to eat frantically, as if he hadn’t a moment to spare, as if the milk would disappear if he stopped eating. I saw Nina wince for a second, and then speak up. “Well, the good thing is, he’s eating now."

I saw my wife shift Eddy in her arms. Now we had a problem. It was good that we got him to eat, but now he’s going to get attached to Nina as if she were his own mother. But that’s just it, Nina isn’t his mother. As I sat and watched Eddy at Nina’s breast eating away, I began to think. Nina’s going to become so attached to Eddy she won’t want to give him up. But this is only temporary. I cradled him in my arms and made sure I minded his head.

“What’s the matter? Huh buddy? You shouldn’t eat so fast, it isn’t good for ya”.

Eddy squirmed in my arms a little, and then settled. Maia looked at Eddy and tried to smile bravely at him. I looked at her and gave her a reassuring smile.

“Peter? Why did Eddy spit up like that? Is he sick”? I shook my head, unsure of the situation. I knew Maia was concerned about Eddy. She was, and so was I. But I think Nina would get way too close to this if she kept on letting him breastfeed. I know he likes it better than the bottle, but I’m sure I smiled quietly at Nina and turned to go out of the room. But not before Nina stopped me, her voice filled with awkward nervousness.

“Peter? I hope you’re not going over to James Carlington’s house. Are you? Peter, I don’t want you going over there... I really don’t. He might be armed, and he might be yanking your chain. He might not have any Insulin at all”.

How many times had Nina and I discussed this? Too many to count. I had to go. It was a risk I was willing to take. I wasn’t going to let my son just pass away into the depths of this war. I wasn’t. I knew Nina wasn’t going to let him pass away into this war either. But she was a little more skeptical about getting that Insulin from James Carlington than I am. Only because she believed that he didn’t have it.

“Nina, I’m going to get James Carlington to give me that Insulin. I’ll be careful I promise. Let’s hope that shot gun he keeps in his house is locked up tight, I wouldn’t want anyone getting hurt. Gunshot wounds aren’t easily treated without the right supplies, and if that comes into play, we don’t have much to treat it with. I’ll be alright, just lock the door when I leave”.

With that, I turned and walked out the door. Down the stairs I went and towards the coat rack that held my heavy wool coat. Never thought I’d need it yet this year. As cold as its been lately though, I might as well use it after all. As I pulled the heavy coat around my body, I noticed the left sleeve had a slight tear in it. Great, now I’d have to get it sewn again. It wasn’t as easy as it looked to repair a wool coat. Especially if it was really heavy. I’d have to get it fixed later. I carefully opened up the front door and shut it behind me. The wind outside was blowing. I hugged my coat around my body tighter.

I nearly slipped down the stairs on the porch because it was wet with rain that was pouring in torrents across everything. As my feet hit the sidewalk, I began to wonder what my conversation with James Carlington would be. I guess I’d have to wait and see. He lived two houses down from mine, and next to where Ellie and Eddy used to live with their mother Alexandra right before she passed-away. I sloshed through the unsettling cold around me. Up the steps and onto James Carlington’s porch, and suddenly, I found myself shaking. But was it from fear? Or something else entirely? I shook myself to get a hold of my bearings around me.

As I was about to knock on the front door, it opened, revealing to me the inside of a house that needed a lot of attention. Appearing in the doorway as quickly as it was opened, James Carlington. He was very unsteady on his feet. I looked into his eyes, they were fixed and dilated. The man was dead drunk. At his left shoulder, was his shot-gun. I really wished he would put that thing away. Somebody could get hurt. He was a little irritated that I was invading his privacy.

“Whadda you want here Morgan? Didn’t I tell ya’s to stay off my property? You got no business here. I tell ya, the only way to get through this here war, is with a bottle of scotch under your pillow and a shot-gun near ya for protection...”

I could only look at him in disgust. Drinking wasn’t going to get him anywhere... I gazed beyond him for a moment to see if I could try and find anything that would resemble container’s holding Insulin in it. Suddenly, a large box with handwriting that looked strangely like mine caught my eye over by the entrance to the kitchen.

That had to be the Insulin box with all the individual containers I had marked for overnight shipping to Saint Mary’s in Olympia. But how had James Carlington gotten a hold of it? I looked him in the eye, a sinking feeling forming in the pit of my stomach. This wasn’t good at all. “Mister Carlington, where did you get that box of Insulin over there”? Carlington avoided my gaze and shuffled his feet. I’d have to try and anticipate his next move. At least try and get my hands on that box of Insulin by the kitchen entrance. If I was going to leave with it in hand, I’d have to make a mad dash for the front door with it.

I was trying to be polite, but his tone with me right now, I was done being so. I made my way past him, and towards ‘my box’. I opened it and looked inside, carefully inspecting the contents of the box. I counted the containers with the glass vials containing the Insulin my son so desperately needed. Each had forty in the smaller containers. There were twenty five different containers that held the vials of Insulin. For a total of 1000 vials of Insulin altogether. It was a bit much, but at the time, it was needed at Saint Mary’s.

They had been short on Insulin, and I had been the one to provide them with it. This would be just enough to save my son’s life, if not the best miracle I’ve run across today. Before James Carlington could get to me, in all his drunken rage, I scooped the box into my arms and carefully made my way to the front door. I knew very well he was following me, but I was already beyond the front porch and on the sidewalk, making my way back home. I heard him yelling after me, through all the rain.

“You get back here Morgan! That box there is my rightful property! Where’s a cop when you need one”!

I kept going on my way towards my house when suddenly a shot rang out. I froze immediately when something hit me square in the back of my left shoulder. I heard another shot. I staggered a bit and kept going. I could still hear Carlington right behind me. Drunken idiot didn’t know when to stop. I couldn’t stop now, though I knew I was bleeding. I held the box awkwardly in my arms as I reached the front porch. As I reached for the front door I heard Carlington behind me, yelling obscenities to the world, though no one was listening.

“Get back here you ass! That box is my rightful property! You had no right to take it! Give it back or I’ll shoot ya in the other leg”!

I shook my head no, turning the door handle. I struggled to get inside. James Carlington about pushed his way in, had I not slammed the door in his face at the moment locking it. I slid to the floor, pain shooting up and down both my legs and my shoulder felt like it was on fire. I carefully shoved the box off to the side for the moment and inspected my wounds.

Two bullets, lodged in each of my calves, and still there... Best not to take it out right now... I checked my shoulder; the bullet had gone completely through. I took a deep breath, trying to keep myself calm. I tried my best to put pressure onto my shoulder, only causing myself more pain than I could have ever asked for... I cursed at myself for doing so.

“Son of a bitch! I can’t believe that idiot got me”!

Suddenly, I saw my wife up at the top of the stairs, her face pale, and her hands shaking. Her eyes held an eerie expression that I couldn’t read. Her movements were unsteady as she watched me. She kept a good hold of the banister to help keep her up-right. When she reached the bottom, she came straight to me, tears streaming down her face.

“See! Didn’t I tell you James Carlington would do something like this Peter! What did he do to you? What did he do”!

All the commotion Nina and I were making, had Maia at the top of the stairs in seconds. I tried to get myself into a better sitting position, but to no avail, I was failing miserably and the pain seemed to get worse. I saw Maia scurry away back into the master bedroom. The sight of me must scare her right now... I’m sure of it... Nina went about trying to tend to me. The more she put pressure on my shoulder, the more I hissed in pain. I slumped off to the side a little, trying to get a good look at the damage Carlington caused to my legs.

I looked into my wife’s eyes to try and locate any kind of comfort in them, not pity.

“You know what I had to do honey... I risked my life to get that box sitting over there. I risked my life for our son. Our son! So that he could live! I’d gladly give my life for my son! You and the kids are my entire world...”

My confession to my wife seemed to stun her a bit... She knew that I’d fight for our children. I loved them with all my heart. My wife was no field medic, a nurse, or a paramedic, but once given direction, she could patch up just about anything you asked her to fix. I listened as Nina spoke up, a small smile on her face, but sadness filled her eyes.

“See honey, now we’re matching. Though my gunshot wound is a scar now, it still feels like yesterday when I got it... Left shoulder, broken collar bone... Hurt like hell... But because of it, a life was lost...”

Though I was in a lot of pain at the moment, I knew what my wife was talking about. It was something we promised ourselves we’d never go through again. Something that nearly tore Nina apart when it happened. I could never forget the day... And I’m pretty sure Nina couldn’t either...

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flashback (July 28th, 2005) 7a.m.

The day I suffered that gunshot wound in 2005, just two short years ago, I’d never forget... The day had been hectic as it was already... The morning had started off relatively normal, though at the time my son Will was still a baby... He was two years old at the time... He’d been fussy that morning because he was still teething... By two, toddler’s should have all their teeth, but his doctor told me that sometimes in boys, their teeth came in later than girls... I had a hard time getting him dressed.

I had only had time for a light breakfast. Peter had advised me to eat more, only because of my precarious condition I was in. He’d been particularly protective of me because he had been worried about me. And with all the problems that I had been going through with my second pregnancy, it seemed he worried even more so. Just entering the middle of my second trimester wasn’t helping to ease his worries over me. I was on my way out the door when I turned to Peter.

“Everything will be just fine. Nothing bad will happen to me today. Have some confidence. This day will turn out some big results. Just you wait and see”.

Even though I had said that to Peter, it didn’t quite ring true to me as I was driving towards work. I wasn’t going to let it bother me though; today I had much work to do. For being early, it was very hot already... Well, what did you expect for mid-summer? I shook my head and cranked up the air-conditioning. Being five months pregnant didn’t help at the moment. I felt like I was suffocating in my car, but no matter now, I was entering the parking garage. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Finally”.

I turned my car off when I was in my parking spot, and then I carefully looked around myself. If I got sick today, that would mean an end to a perfectly good morning. I gently took my seatbelt off and opened up my door. I hoisted myself up and out of the car, my feet now firmly planted on the concrete below me. It smelled like car exhaust in here. I had to get myself out of this air; it wasn’t good for me or my baby.

I made my way over to the elevator once I closed up and locked my car. I hated walking these days, only because I waddled. I had told no one I worked with that I was pregnant. Only doctor Hudson knew that. I couldn’t keep it secret very long, it was bound to come back and bite me in the ass full force when people did find out... When the elevator chimed and opened up, a man came up behind me. I had just pushed the button, and the door was closing, the door opened again, and the man came in. I smiled, it was Doctor Hudson. On time as usual.

“So, how are you doing this morning Nina? Doing well I hope”.

I only smiled at Hudson and pressed the button by the elevator door labeled ‘1’. It was the one just above the letter ‘G’ which stood for garage.

“We are doing just fine this morning Doctor Hudson, thank-you for asking.”

I placed my hand protectively over my swelling abdomen as if this would help protect the fetus growing inside of me when I felt the elevator shudder suddenly. I took a deep breath to shake off the uneasiness it was making me feel. I sighed in relief when the elevator kept moving. When we reached the first floor, I was happy. Hudson followed suit and decided he would take the stairs the rest of the way to get to the medical bay. By now, I had taken my hand away from my stomach, trying my best to hide my ‘condition’ from the others who worked around me. Baldwin appeared in my line of vision as I made my way to my office. He seemed to be in a slightly edgy mood this morning, though his face showed otherwise.

“Morning Nina.”

I nodded my head at Baldwin to signal my good-morning to him. I took a deep breath to try and battle the dizzy spell I was going through suddenly. I placed my right hand on the frame in the doorway to my office and leaned heavily on it. Baldwin caught on to it.

“You alright Nina? You’re looking a little green around the gills”.

My dizzy spell dissipated as quickly as it had come. I straightened myself out and no longer needed to use the doorway as a brace. I was alright. I kept a straight face as I looked him in the eye.

“I’m perfectly fine Baldwin. Where’s your partner?”

His partner was usually on time, but this morning she was tardy. I’d have time to worry about that later. I had paper’s piling up on my desk, some of which were to be sent to the Pentagon before the end of the work day.

“She’s on her way I’m sure. She probably is having a little trouble getting Maia out of bed this morning.”

I nodded my head, and we parted ways, he going to his desk in his office, and I going into mine, carefully easing myself into my office chair when I got behind the desk. Something told me that today was going to be somewhat of a challenge. It had been hours now since I had first spoken to Baldwin.

Skouris still hadn’t showed up, but now I knew the obvious reason, her daughter Maia was sick with something. So, she was downstairs in medical. I was just making my way past the elevator, where Foster and McClenahan were tearing each other apart... I broke the two apart, just barely avoiding being hit in the face by Foster’s fist. I made my way towards Baldwin who was now standing outside his office, his face filled with worry.

“Foster and McClenahan are tearing each other apart by the elevator.”

Baldwin’s face didn’t seem all too surprised by this. Though his actions at the moment, were a bit frightening to me for some reason.

“Right before this started, there, there was a noise”.

I shook my head seriously and watched as the rest of my agents went about ducking it out with each other. “Well I didn’t hear anything”. Baldwin became defensive suddenly, something that I didn’t approve of at all on the job. He was going to have to curb that urge and tell me what was going on.

“Yeah, well the rest of us did!”

I took a step back, startled by his sudden outburst. I wasn’t going to let this get in my way though. The look on his face softened and he sighed.

“Sorry, there was some kind of high-pitched whine. And we got another one of those e-mails. It said, “Have fun trying to survive the day.”

I nodded my head curtly and started to follow Baldwin into his office. I straightened myself out, trying my best to keep my cool about the situation in front of me.

“Show me.”

I turned back to the men in the room who were throwing punches at each other in almost every direction. I snorted and then shook my head no. This had to stop here and now.

“Look, try to stay calm! I-I-If this noise or signal did something to you, you’ve got to fight it!”

The men in the room only became louder, sneering and jeering at one another like this was some sort of school yard fight. I turned back to them when I heard them yelling louder.

“What did I just tell you?”

Just as I turned, I saw Park pull a gun and shoot straight at me. The bullet came at me and hit me square in the shoulder. I fell like a sack of potatoes to the floor. Everything was getting fuzzy.

“Nina!"

Park was beside himself. I couldn’t move very well anymore. This wasn’t a good thing at all.

“You saw it! She pulled her gun first! I was only defending myself!”

Now I knew Tom was not a man to mess with when he got angry, but his behavior was not acceptable right now. Park was only making it worse by egging him on. He threw a punch in his direction, knocking him over.

"How is she?”

There was a woman next to me, I had always forgotten her name, everything was still getting fuzzy, and my hearing wasn’t so great.

“Breathing, but bleeding pretty badly.”

I shifted my gaze to Baldwin’s face. It was filled with both fear and concern. He had such concern for women. Especially if they got hurt.

“Get her to medical.”

I didn’t hear much after that. The woman next to me helped guide me into a sitting position and then into a standing one. I began to cry. What was going to happen to me? What was going to happen to my baby?

“What’s going to happen to me? Am I going to die? What about my baby?”

Well, I had blown the lid off my little secret. The woman at my left arm seemed stunned by my sudden revelation. I was very worried about my baby; I didn’t care about anything else right now.

“W-what? What did you just say?”

I knew she heard me, but I was not really paying attention to her. Before I knew it, we were down in the med labs. Doctor Hudson’s face filled with frantic worry. He rushed towards me and called for some nurses as back up.

“Nina? What happened? You alright?”

Of course I wasn’t alright. I felt the nurses and Hudson lift me up onto a stretcher. I tried deep breathing like Peter had taught me to do. This baby had to be alright. I cried more now, I felt like screaming. I was feeling the strangest sensation in my abdomen right about now. I couldn’t lose this baby. I couldn’t. It would take several more years after for Peter and I to have another child.

“Of course I’m not alright. Park pulled his gun on me and shot me in the shoulder! Please, tell me, is my baby alright? I have to know. I won’t lose her. I can’t... I just can’t.”

Hudson’s expression softened more as I told him what had happened, and my fear of what might be happening to my baby. By now, they were wheeling me into the OR. I got scared as the nurses went about hooking all sorts of wires that were now going in and out of me; in places I thought you couldn’t put things. I felt one nurse as she was removing my clothes as carefully as she could.

I think my collarbone is broken. Another nurse brought in a portable ultrasound machine. One of the nurses who had put an iv into my arm poured some clear gel onto my stomach. A nurse in front of me got a shocked expression on her face.

“Doctor Hudson, she’s... She’s hemorrhaging! We’ve got to stop the bleeding immediately, or we’ll lose this baby!”

I bit my lip to keep myself from screaming out in agony. My entire body was riddled with pain, some of which I did not want to be in right now. I tried to pull myself into a sitting position, but a nurse next to me gently pushed me back down again. I was trying to concentrate on Hudson, who was in between my knees at the moment, trying to stop the massive bleeding. I winced slightly as I felt pressure. I was near hysterics now, and something told me it was already too late to save my baby. But I wasn’t giving up.

“Please, tell me my baby is alright! I’m begging you!”

It was true; I was at the point now that I was begging. I normally wasn’t like that at all. But, since being pregnant, it’s caused me to say things I wouldn’t normally say. My face paled as a towel soaking in my own blood appeared from between my knees. I saw another towel disappear under the sheet. Hudson was getting frustrated, I could tell. His reactions told it all.

“Nurse, turn on that ultrasound machine. I’m not getting my hopes up, but there still might be a chance this baby might still be inside her womb.”

I saw the nurse’s careful movements as she moved the awkward instrument around on my stomach. She shook her head and kept looking. The tears in my eyes grew more so as she kept looking for something, anything.

“There’s nothing here doctor. I’m not finding anything. Not even a detectable heartbeat.”

There had to be some sort of mistake, my baby couldn’t be gone. She just couldn’t. I tried shaking my head, only eliciting more pain than I had expected. Finally, realization settled in, and the man in front of me, trying to stop the bleeding was to blame. Though I knew it wasn’t his fault, I had to place the blame on somebody.

“It’s your fault I lost this baby! It’s your fault! Why couldn’t you save her? Why!”

Peter’s voice startled me, and my thoughts went unchecked. I was brought back to the present, my hands shaking and tears coursing down my face.

“Honey, keep pressure on the wound. I know seeing me like this must bring back horrible memories for you. The day you were shot, and you broke your collarbone, I was beside myself with grief when you told me we had lost the baby. But you can’t go on blaming Hudson for this. You know you can’t. The man’s gone after all, let him rest. Let him rest in peace. You know he did everything in his power to stop you from losing our daughter. It’s time to let what’s past be past”.

I nodded my head, though still unsure of what to say. I held the towel in place, the bleeding had slowed to almost a complete stop now, and I was able to get a better look at his gunshot wound. Bullet went clean through, but by the way Peter was holding his shoulder, the angle of it anyways, I knew it would have to be set back into place again. I’d need his help on that though. If I was going to set it, I’d have to do it quickly. I could see his shoulder had merely slipped out of its socket. His collarbone however, would need to heal in a sling, much like mine did.

“Peter, will you help give me some direction so I can put your shoulder back in its socket? We’ll have to put a sling on you, much like the one I once had.”

Peter nodded his head and winced as I applied more pressure to his shoulder. He was being very brave about the whole thing though.

“Nina, what I need you to do is, you need to put a little more pressure on my shoulder. Push it back towards me slightly, and the push it to the right. It should pop back into place after that”.

I nodded my head and pushed his shoulder back towards him, and then gently as I could eased it to the right and back into his socket again. I nodded satisfied when I heard a little crack.

“Ah!” I

quickly put fresh clean gauze on his open wound on his shoulder, and then I carefully applied tape to it. I found a large enough tortilla towel to construct a sling out of. I gingery picked up Peter’s arm and set it in the sling, tying the ends around his neck. I saw him frantically trying to look at his calves. I looked too, but all I could see were superficial wounds. More like graze marks from stray bullets out of Carlington’s shotgun.

“My legs, how bad are they? Carlington shot at them both...”

I put a hand up to my husband’s face. He didn’t need to worry. His leg wounds were superficial. He’d risked so much for this family already, and I had my gratitude to show for it. He had gotten the much needed supplies from Carlington though he didn’t want to go down without a fight.

“Peter, you’re fine. The wounds in your legs are superficial. Merely graze marks from stray bullets. I’m grateful for what you’ve gone through for our son. When you get better, there is something I’d like to give you, but for now you’ll just have to settle for this.”

I pulled Peter in for a kiss and let it linger a moment. He’d risked his life for Will, and now he’d live because of it. My husband was a real miracle worker and life-saver. I’d give him that. 

 

To Be Continued...


	9. Fleeing to Oregon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

December 3rd, 2007

Peter and I had decided a few days ago, that it was finally time to flee this godforsaken city we once called Seattle. We still haven’t found Diana, and the leads my former bosses gave to me, they’ve become stale. According to their sources, she’s nowhere near Seattle anymore. They can’t pinpoint her exact origin just that she’s in Oregon somewhere. So now, we’re fleeing this city together, and going to Portland, where we’ll be safe from harm.

At least in Portland, we won’t have to worry about soldier’s trying to take Maia away from us. Will is doing better than he has been the past several weeks. He’s still a little shaky on his feet, but he’s getting better. Maia seems very enthusiastic. She’s sure we’ll find her mom and dad in Oregon. Here trying to find her, was like finding someone in a stack of hay. Portland is three times smaller than Seattle, so our chances of finding her are much easier. I looked into Peter’s eyes and smiled.

“Thank-you for everything you’ve done for our son. He wouldn’t be where he is right now if he didn’t have that Insulin you found. How’s your arm”?

A kind of sadness filled his eyes suddenly, and I wondered what would make him sad. Something was bothering him. I could sense it. We’d been together too long to not know what one another was thinking.

“My arms fine. It’s a little sore, but it’ll have to do. I don’t need another shot for pain right now. It’s okay. I’m sorry if I seem a little irritated. I’m just frustrated that I can’t do anything by myself anymore. I’ll be glad when we get out of this godforsaken place and get to Portland. Then we don’t have to worry about soldiers or any other bad thing that might come up later on down the road”. Peter was very tense. I could feel it in his arms. Packing would keep his mind off all that we have gone through in the past few months. He’s done so much.

He helped with the birth of our third child, he helped another woman with the birth of her son, and he took the son and his sister in when she passed away. There is no other way of describing how big a heart Peter has for others, or how compassionate he is. His face creased with worry, then suddenly changed to pained. He was just taking too much on at such a bad time. I’d have to help him pack, he was becoming hysterical. Something I didn’t see out of him very often.

“Peter, honey, let me finish packing for you. You go and sit on the bed. I want you to relax and stay calm. Right now, you’re straining yourself. Now, are you sure you don’t want another shot for pain? I know you’ve got some morphine left in your bag, I can always get it for you if you really need it.”

His face softened, but his pained expression never left. He shook his head no at me. Now who was being the tough cookie in this situation? Certainly the exact opposite, because I was used to being the one who was the tough cookie! I knew he still had nightmares about all the patients that he couldn’t save, if those were my husband’s ghosts, then I really understand. He held people’s lives in the balance everyday!

“No, I’m alright. I moved my arm wrong. I’ll tell you when I need that shot of Morphine. Just not now.”

I was sympathetic with Peter. My natural mothering instincts got the better of me. I was so used to taking care of my children that when it came down to taking care of my husband, sometimes he was just like a little kid himself. I was going to give him that shot. The pain he’s in shows me he needs it badly, no matter how much he protests. I didn’t like needles, but I had gotten used to it because of Will when he needed his daily injections of Insulin.

“Peter, I really think I should give you that shot of Morphine. The pain your feeling right now is clearly affecting your judgment. Here, sit down, this’ll only take a minute.”

He only shook his head no at me more. He was being such a stubborn ass. He was angry with me. Sometimes my husband, he felt he needed to be the one that was right. But one can never be right all the time. I knew that. I learned that the hard way when I used to be at NTAC. I couldn’t always be right then, and I can’t always be right now. It’s just the way it goes. Life’s that way.

“Ay Nina! Stop talking like a talking corporate head for once! You know I’m right...”

I momentarily halted my task of packing both my things and Peter’s and went over to the crib, carefully picking up each Eddy and Jamie both. I called for Maia and Ellie too. They were all going to be in this conversation with us.

“Maia, Ellie, could you come in here please?”

I was more than ready to show Peter and remind him, what was really at stake here. Maia and Ellie both were in the doorway as fast as I could ask them to come into the room. Peter, who was too drunk with pain, only nodded his head in defeat.

“I don’t know where all this is going, and I’m guessing your about to tell me.”

I nodded my head slightly. These children were the most important living, breathing human beings we had a duty to protect and take care of. I’d have to keep reminding him of that, if that’s what it takes.

“Peter, look at these children in front of you. You’ve got five children and a duty to protect each and every one of them. Don’t you want them to be safe? I most certainly do!”

Out of the corner of my eye, Maia looked as if she were going to cry, that or she was annoyed, that we were arguing again. It was the same thing most of the time. We either were arguing over the children, or it was about how much food we could manage to salvage that day. Either way, we were always arguing over something, and it was slowly tearing this family apart. Though we tried so hard not to argue about stuff like this, the latter part of it was already winning, much to my dissatisfaction and dismay. Maia’s eyes were filled with worry.

“For once can’t you guys stop arguing? I’m sick of you guys arguing over stupid little things all the time! We shouldn’t be arguing over food and worrying about who’s going to take care of whom. We need to work together. As an entire family. That includes the two of you, Uncle Peter, and you Aunt Nina. Both of you.”

I smiled to myself, Maia was right; we needed to stick together as a family. A short time ago, Maia started to call Peter her “uncle” and me her “aunt”. Peter and I hadn’t minded, but what would her mother think if she ever got the chance to tell her? I nodded my head, seriousness written all over my face. Maia was now holding both Eddy and Jamie.

“Yes, you’re right Maia. Right now we should be worrying about sticking together as a family. Not fighting over things that just can’t be helped. We’ll get by. I’m sure when we get to Portland; there will be more food to come by there... Just you wait and see. I’m sure we’ll find your mom and dad too... Hang in there sweetie...”

I think Maia is getting irritated that I’m calling her sweetie all the time. Old habits die-hard I guess. I knew she wasn’t a little girl anymore, and she probably remembered the time I called her that when she was nine years-old. That was nearly three years ago now... I pulled a shot of Morphine out of Peter’s bag. I knew at any moment he was going to protest me giving it to him, but he really needed it. Every movement he made was riddled with pain. I intended to stop that pain. This Morphine would do the trick. Peter looked me in the eye, I had been a doctor’s wife too long, and I knew how things went.

“Just a quick little stick in the arm Peter.”

I pulled the cap off the syringe of Morphine tapped it to get the excess to sink to the bottom. I tied the rubber tubing I had found in Peter’s bag around his arm that wasn’t hurt. I carefully went about looking for the vein in his arm. I found it just by tapping at the elbow crease. I eased the syringe into his vein and pushed the plunger. When all the Morphine was in, I watched my husband for any kind of reaction. He looked very much relaxed. When the syringe was out of his arm, I stuck it into a little red container labeled:

“Bio-hazardous materials only”.

Peter blinked and looked at me with a relaxed expression.

“That’s better honey... Thank-you...”

I’m surprised it didn’t hinder his speech any. I pulled him in for a kiss. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Maia making faces along with Ellie. The two of them voiced their opinion.

“Ew gross!”

I let go of Peter and smiled at the two of them. Maia would figure out within a few years about kissing boys and having a boyfriend, and Ellie, she still had a long time before she had anything like that to worry about. I’m sure of it. Peter and I shared a glance at each other.

“Las Niña’s no les gustan. Yo si, yo me gustan. Pero, las niñas no. Ay Peter, la guerra es difícil. Ya nos vamos. Vente. Ya vámanos. Es mejor para nosotros. No me gusta vivía en Seattle ya.”

Maia looked like she could understand us. The smug look on her face told it all. Ellie on the other hand, was very much confused. Maia smiled at the two of us, a mischievous smile that usually meant trouble.

“I know exactly what the two of you said. The two of us don’t like what you were doing. You yes, you like it. But we don’t. And you were telling Peter the war is very difficult. Let’s go. Come on. Let’s go. It’s better for all of us. You don’t like living in Seattle anymore...”

I was stunned that Maia knew any Spanish at all. She turned her head sideways, and crossed her arms. She had put both Eddy and Jamie back in the crib, and they were sound asleep. She was doing much better, now that we had come that much closer to finding her mother. The color in her cheeks was returning, and she could stand on her own two feet without shaking. I could only gaze at her awestruck.

“But how did you know what Peter and I were saying Maia?”

Maia gave a little laugh and smiled more. I guess she felt smart that she could understand what the two of us were talking about. Maybe from now on, Peter and I should make up some sort of secret code for when we talked about our inner most private thoughts... Nothing that a girl her age should hear anyways...

“Well, I did spend six months in Spain. So that accounts for why I understand. And Peter, when you say ‘we’ it’s not nosotros its vosotros...”

I gave a smug look to Maia. Vosotro’s was only used in Spain. She had a lot to learn from Peter if she was going to learn the Spanish from Mexico. Peter shook his head and corrected her.

“Maia, aquí en los estados unidos Americanos, es nosotros. No es vosotros. Vosotros es España. Entiendes?”

('Maia, here in the United States, its 'we'. Not 'we' like in Spain.')

Maia seemed a little confused, but she nodded her head in agreement. I went back to packing my clothes. It seems that no matter how many clothes I try to fit in this suitcase, there seems to be too much room for things. I had nearly all my clothes packed into it by now, and was just waiting on Maia, to see how she was doing with hers. “Maia, is your suitcase packed and ready to go yet?” I had given Maia a suitcase to pack her clothes in so we could take our trip down to Portland. Don’t know why I had given her it though; she had only five sets of clothes. But it’s better than nothing I guess. Her look was blank.

“Yes my suitcase is packed, but what’s the point when I’ve only got five sets of clothes... Do you really think we’ll find my mom in Portland?”

I nodded my head yes and pulled Maia into a hug, tears threatening to run full force down my face any minute now. I was going through Post-partum depression right now, and my emotions get the better of me all the time. I held Maia away from me.

“Yes we will Maia. Don’t forget for a second that we promised you we would find your mom and dad, and Portland is our best chance. Now, let’s help Peter get the rest of his packing done so we can get ready to go.”

Maia became sad suddenly, looking into my eyes with a deep kind of despair. Something was on her mind, and I’d get to bottom of it. She seemed a little disturbed by something. I tried my best to read her expression, but I couldn’t figure it out. We wouldn’t let Gabriel Hewitt’s men take her a way, we wouldn’t. A pit began to form in my stomach. What if it did happen and they took Maia away from us? They’d throw her and us into an internment camp.

“Yes Maia, in a way it is. But Peter and I have told you, we won’t let them take you. We promised you that much.”

Maia was still very afraid that those soldiers would come and take her away, but I’d reassure her that they wouldn’t. Ellie was looking me straight in the eye suddenly, tears streaming down her face. Now, what was the matter with her I wonder?

“Ellie sweetie, what’s the matter? Why are you crying? Are you hurt?”

The shake of Ellie’s head told me no, she wasn’t hurt. Maybe she was just scared. Every little kid got scared at one point in their lives. I quickly closed my suitcase and pulled Ellie into my arms. She had been more sensitive to lots of things lately; it was mostly the tone in our voices.

“No, I’m not hurt mommy. But where are we going? What’s Portland?”

Ellie had begun calling me her mother the other day suddenly, which bothered me a little. I wasn’t her mother, and her and Eddy, were only staying with us temporarily until we could find them a family to live with. It’s not that I don’t want them here, I adore those two more than anything, it’s just we don’t have all that much room.

“Sweetie, Portland is the name of the city we’re going to. Have you ever been out of Washington before?”

Ellie shook her head no at me, figures she’d never been out of the state before. Peter had conversations with me about her mother, and she had never taken her out of Washington State. I quickly gazed over at Peter; he was in his own little world. I wondered if he was trying to decide how we could find our way out of Seattle. I turned back to Ellie, who was still staring up at me with her pretty hazel eyes. Strange since her parents both had brown eyes...

I watched as she snuggled in my arms, sticking her thumb in her mouth. I’d have to break her of that habit. It was bad for her teeth. I couldn’t hold her like a baby; she was getting too old for that. She quickly climbed out of my arms and sat on the bed. She wasn’t crying anymore.

“Ellie, don’t suck your thumb sweetie. It’s bad for your teeth.”

Will had settled himself in between Ellie and me. He a lot of the time got jealous that Ellie and Eddy were stealing my attention away from him. I looked at my watch, it was getting late. It was already 2:30. If we were going to be out of here by dark, we’d better go now. I eased myself up from the bed and helped Ellie down. I looked Peter in the eye.

“Peter, if we’re going to leave, we need to do it before it gets dark. It’s already 2:30. Let’s start getting the stuff into the van.”

Peter nodded his head in confidence towards me. We were really going to make it. If we left now, we’d be to Portland around 5:30. Stuck in Rush-hour traffic, but safe nonetheless. Maia helped Ellie out of the bedroom with her suitcase, all while carrying her own. I’d have to make sure they were bundled up so we could go outside. I carefully reached into the crib and picked up both Eddy and Jamie, cradling them gently in each arm. Eddy was doing much better now. He’s taking to the formula now.

His coloring in his cheeks was much better, and his reflexes are normal. He does react to when a door closes or opens with a startled jerk reaction, but babies his age normally do. Peter was now looking at me, a small smile spread across his face.

“Okay, can we be ready in about 15 minutes? It shouldn’t take that long to get everybody into the van. We’ve got all the maps in the car right? Chains in case of bad weather?”

I nodded my head mentally checking those things off. Now, had I remembered to put the first-aid kit in the car? I’d have to check as soon as we got out there. I don’t know why I chose to wear one of my work suits... Guess old habits die-hard don’t they? Peter carried my suitcase out into the hallway while I carried both babies carefully down the stairs. I tried not to stir them as I reached the bottom. Eddy began to squirm in my arms. I quickly rocked him a little and he settled once more. I knew Jamie would become restless soon, and want to nurse. But for now, she was fast asleep, probably dreaming about eating because I could see her sucking.

“Should get these two bundled up, its cold outside... Those two are so cute when their sleeping.”

I smiled at Peter. This was the first time I took notice in the past few days that he hadn’t been wearing his glasses. I think his glasses make him look sexy. We’d make it out. Once we put Seattle in our rearview mirror, things would only get better. We all had to keep thinking that. I went about carefully bundling up both Eddy and Jamie. They like feeling secure. I gathered the two into my arms again and went out the front door. When I stepped outside, a cold rush of air came over me. Piles of leaves were scattered everywhere among the pile of fresh snow. We had chains for the tires, but the snow wasn’t that bad, and it didn’t look like there was much ice. We just had to be very careful about where we drove. After all, this was a side street, and anything can happen on a side street.

Maia slowly opened up the van door for me so that I could put Eddy and Jamie into their car seats. I placed Eddy into Maia’s arms while I quickly buckled Jamie in. Eddy began to fuss in Maia’s arms. Oh, those were his hungry cries. He’s going to want his bottle soon. Ellie placed herself in her car seat next to Jamie. Nice to have bench seats rather than just regular seats. Once Jamie was secure in her car seat, I took Eddy up in my arms. He was screaming at the top of his lungs now. Maia would have to give him his bottle. As carefully as I could, I set him in his car seat buckling him in.

Will was already in his car seat next to Eddy, now I was glad he knew how to buckle himself in. It would be extra work if he didn’t know how to do it himself. Maia sat herself on the end on the left side. I heard her sigh in relief. I think we were all happy to leave this place. I looked Maia in the eye and smiled, trying my best to be brave.

“Maia, could you feed Eddy? He’s very hungry, and he hasn’t eaten in at least a couple of hours. His bottle is in the bag right by your feet. I’ve just changed him over to elbow bottles, I’ve read that they’re more ergonomically correct.”

I watched as Maia carefully pulled Eddy’s bottle out of the bag by her feet. I could see her cringe at Eddy’s crying, but the only way to soothe his crying was to feed him. I saw her stick the nipple of the bottle into his mouth, and he grabbed onto it hungrily as if the world didn’t matter to him. He whimpered slightly as he ate, but he seemed happy. I listened to him sucking on the nipple of the bottle for a brief moment, then smiled and shut the van door. When I climbed in front, Peter had somehow already managed to buckle himself into the passenger seat. We had everything we could possibly need: our chains for snow, first aid kit, suitcases, and a few other things that were important.

As I was about to put the van in reverse once I had my seatbelt on, I saw a little girl dancing in the snow several feet away in the street. Spinning in circles, she smiled and danced more. She waved at me, and at first I didn’t recognize who it was... How could I not recognize who it was? The flowing tresses of dark brown ringlets, perfect skin three shades darker than mine, and a flashing smile, showing off perfectly white teeth. How could I forget my own daughter?

But why was she appearing to me now? Truth was, I couldn’t forget my little girl. But why she was appearing to me now was a complete mystery. I kept staring at the figure still dancing and playing about in the snow in the rearview mirror. This had to be some sort of mind trick... I knew that. I smiled to myself, letting the thought of my Lexi playing in the snow settle, a happy memory that wouldn’t let go just yet...

“You always did love the snow Lex.”

Peter’s head whipped around to face me. Concern crossed his unshaven face and worry filled his weary eyes. I hoped he wasn’t thinking I wasn’t crazy, because I wasn’t. I saw Lexi; she was playing in the street.

“What did you just say?”

He knew very well what I said. There were some days I really wished I could have carried Lexi. I wished I could have carried her inside my womb, felt her growing inside of me. But that was before I knew that I could conceive. Lexi was a gift to both Peter and I. But it was Nora and Rob who had given her to us as a miracle. Tears sprung from my eyes now as I remembered Nora and Rob.

“You know very well what I said Peter.”

I was a ball of nerves. I swallowed, wiped my tears and carefully pulled out of the driveway. When I looked back to see if Lexi was still in the road, she was gone. There wasn’t a single footprint where she had been standing maybe twenty feet away just minutes earlier. 

I felt Peter’s arm on me which caused a startled reaction to happen.

“Nothing cariño, you wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.”

I took a deep breath and cleared my mind. I pulled to the side of the road when I heard the distinct sound of a snow plow behind me. I eased the car onto the side of the road and came to a complete stop. My mind was wandering again. I heard knocking on the window once more. I shifted my eyes before I turned to look at the figure in the window. I knew who it was. But could Peter see her?

“Cariño, do you see our baby girl in the window? Please tell me you see her. I’m not crazy; please don’t give me that look. Please cariño.”

Peter shook his head no at me, and by now, the snow plow was far down the street. I really didn’t understand how he couldn’t see her. She was standing right there. I didn’t want to look at her however, she was just an illusion. She wasn’t really there at all. I took another deep breath to clear my mind. I pushed on the gas, now I was feeling better that I was getting away. But I shouldn’t be running away from this. What was wrong with me? Lexi was my little girl, there had to be some reason she’s coming back to me.

“I don’t believe you’re crazy Nina. I believe you did see Lexi. But it’s time to let her go. I think you’ve been holding onto a small piece of her over the past four years and you haven’t let go yet. I’ve let her go, maybe that’s why I don’t see her. It would explain the reason why you can only see her, and why she only speaks to you...”

I stopped crying and sniffled a little. Driving would keep my mind off the whole scenario of it all. Now, when did it start snowing? Yesterday it hadn’t been that cold to snow. It had been raining constantly. You would think we’d have flooding by now, but one can never be too sure about it. The rivers weren’t overflowing... Not like we would hear anything about it though, communications have been blocked throughout Seattle.

Household electronics ceased to exist two weeks ago, and machines have seemed to stop working altogether. Even if we turned the radio on right now, we wouldn’t be getting any signal. All we would be getting was static. That’ll all change once we reach Portland. We were nearing the center part of the city now, and it was just raining here. There was no snow on the ground at all. It was too warm here. I could go no faster than 25 miles an hour because of the immense amount of people surrounding the car.

Peter looked me in the eye when I glanced at him momentarily.

“Just keep moving Nina. If we keep moving, they can’t do anything to us. Most people now are looking for a way out of the city. I know this sounds selfish, but we’ve got no room and it’s protecting your own now.”

I kept driving, ignoring the shouts coming from the people that were surrounding the car. I began to get tears in my eyes when a woman held out her little girl towards the car, the poor little girl, screaming at the top of her lungs.

“Please, take my little girl! Please take her with you!”

I could only shake my head, I’d love to take another child in, but I couldn’t save each and every one of them. It just wasn’t possible. I continued my way through the throng of people. At the end of this street, there was a military blockade. Great, this was just what we needed right now. Two soldiers came up to the window and knocked on it. I stopped the car and opened it up.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but we’re not allowing anyone to leave the city. You’ll have to go back.”

I wasn’t going back, it was too far. We’d just have to find another way around this blockade here. Several soldiers were trying to keep the peace between the people and went about placing more blockades to keep them at bay. I reached into my pocket of my skirt and pulled out my NTAC badge. This would come in handy. I handed it to the soldier in front of me.

“Nina Jarvis, Director of the Pacific Northwest Division of the National Threat Assessment Command. Okay you can go through. We’re only letting government officials through right now, and you hold a government position. You’ll have to hurry though; there are people here that would say just about anything to get out of the city...”

The two soldier’s moved the blockade just enough so the van could fit through. I heard shouting from people behind us. They were trying to make their way through the blockade too. Another set of soldiers quickly put the blockade back in place. I could still hear that little girl screaming at the top of her lungs. I’d never get over the sound of it.

It made my head pound, and my heart ache. There were so many children suffering because of this war. Their parents send them out into the streets to search for food, and sometimes they don’t come back. Others lose their parents to disease. It was rampant these days, and you had to be careful who you came into contact with. I sighed in relief, the freeway was in sight. I just had to take exit nine and we’d be on our way.

“Peter, this is it. We’re really going to make it.”

I was never happier when I saw the sign saying: ‘Now leaving Seattle. Thank-you for visiting! Please come again!’ That sign would be changed in no time. With Jordan Collier annexing nearly half the city, there were only the poorer spots left. Between him and Gabriel Hewitt, I didn’t know who horded more food. But now, we were finally getting away. We would be safe. I took the exit slowly, though there were no cars to stop me from entering the freeway.

As the wheel’s hit the freeway pavement, I let out a choked sob, only eliciting a strange stare from my husband. I guess he didn’t understand why I was crying. I was so happy to be free from a place full of suffering. My children would finally have food in their mouths, and I no longer had to listen to them cry because there wasn’t much food to give them.

“Peter, I’m sorry if I’m crying. I’m just so happy to get away from all this. All five of these children will have plenty of food in their mouths, and I no longer have to listen to them cry every night because their still hungry after they’ve already eaten...”

I felt as if I were living in a dream. This couldn’t be real could it? I felt so free though. I’d be giving these children hope. My smile faded when I began to see water running over the freeway in torrents. It looked like a small river. Great, flooding... We were only at the milepost 20 marker. I’d have to take this slow. Peter startled me suddenly, causing me to reduce my speed.

“Nina, I want you to take this stretch of freeway slow. The water doesn’t look too bad here. It’s not too high; keep your speed below 30 though. Don’t want to get the breaks too wet. There we go, that’s it.”

I smiled towards Peter; he was essentially my coach for everything difficult. He ranged from my personal Lamaze coach to helping me navigate through flood waters. To tell the truth, I wasn’t entirely ready for this. But I guess it was the price to pay for finally being able to be free from Seattle. By now, I could finally see the waters going down. Then, the freeway was visible. I sped up to normal speed. Glad that’s done and over with.

“Thank-you for helping me through that Peter. I’m hoping that is the last we’ve seen of all this water on the freeway.”

Peter nodded his head at me and leaned back in the passenger seat next to me. I guess he was going to sleep most of the way there. I would have to get Maia to read the map for me. I momentarily glanced back at Maia in the rearview mirror. She was fast asleep holding Eddy’s bottle still trying to feed him. I only smiled and turned my attention back to the road.

“Wake me when we get to Vancouver. I’ll guide you from there.”

I nodded my head and kept my attention on the freeway, which was literally empty. Not many people could escape Seattle like we had. From here to Battle Ground, it was 161 miles, and I hadn’t even seen a freeway sign saying how far we were from there. From Seattle to Vancouver is 164 miles, and finally from Seattle to Portland it comes to a whopping 172 miles. I couldn’t help but thinking of my Lexi suddenly. It struck a painful chord I didn’t like to relive again and again. Once was enough. I thought of all the happy times Lexi, Peter and I shared together. I wish Will could know what she was like.

I remember the first time she saw snow. She was so fascinated by it. As soon as I had set Lexi down in the snow she screamed. She didn’t like the snow. She had taken a step forward in the snow and had begun to sink. From that day on, she didn’t like the snow. The snow had been deep in 1997. It had been a bad year for snow. Leaving behind this place meant that I was leaving behind a life that no longer existed.

Everything I had experienced, had ever known, was all in the past now. The life I had made in Seattle wouldn’t exist again. I had happy memories though. The birth of my three children. Lexi was my first miracle. Though I wasn’t the one to carry her to term. That was all my sister Nora’s doing. Had I experienced carrying Lexi to term and growing inside of me, it would have been a whole different story altogether. Will was the second greatest miracle in my life, but only because I had conceived him myself. That was a miracle entirely in itself. Peter and I found out about Will on Halloween.

I was brought to my knees in tears, overjoyed at the fact that I had finally conceived a child. This of course was a few weeks before Lexi was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor. She loved the fact that I was having a baby. It was blissfully beautiful. I came to a sign just off to the side of the freeway all of a sudden. It had been awhile now since I had seen any kind of sign. The scenery since we had left Seattle had changed drastically. Now that lined the freeway were nothing but trees open fields. I smiled at the sign.

It read: Battle Ground 62 miles, Vancouver 78 miles, and Portland 87 miles. We were almost there. I could feel it. Another forty minutes and we’d be in Battle Ground. I glanced in the rearview mirror; I could see Maia stir in the back seat.

“Nina, where are we? Are we almost to Portland yet?”

I shook my head no and turned my attention to the freeway in front of me. I heard Peter snore loudly, so I quickly nudged him in the ribs and he snorted, mumbling something unintelligible to me turning his head away, falling asleep once more.

“No, we’re not there yet. We’re about 62 miles outside of Battle Ground. We’ll be there in about forty more minutes. Sit tight. Or do you have to use the bathroom? I think I saw a sign back there that there was a public restroom popping up pretty soon.”

The scenery around us was a comfort to me. It was almost surreal to me because I had become so accustomed to seeing soldiers walking around everywhere with machine guns and telling people to stay in their houses. But here, these fields were void of all those things, and it seemed as if this place were untouched by humans. I was startled out of my reverie by Maia’s voice.

“All this is so different from what we’re used to seeing; it’s as if we’re in a different world. Everything is so quiet and calm. Are you sure we’re not dreaming Nina?”

I smiled towards Maia but didn’t take my eyes off the road this time. Yes, driving through this patch of open land seemed like a different world altogether. But I’m guessing these are the parts that Jordan Collier and Gabriel Hewitt haven’t had the chance to annex yet. I hope they never get the chance to.

“No, we’re not dreaming Maia. This is very real... That rest stop is coming up soon, about one more mile. Do you want to stop and freshen up? I should really see if Jamie wants to nurse yet.”

I quickly glanced back at Maia to see her reaction, when I saw the nod of her head, I nodded too, satisfied that we all agreed on something here. Before I knew it, the exit for the rest stop popped up in front of me. I carefully pulled the car off the freeway and into the rest area. There were so many cars here. But where were all the people at? I had a gut feeling that something was wrong with this picture, very wrong.

“Nina, there are a lot of cars here, but where are all the people at? I know they couldn’t have just disappeared. Do you think they might be running from something?”

I got a pit in my stomach, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from investigating why there were so many cars in one place, but no people. I put the car into park and turned it off, only waking Peter in the process.

“What? We in Vancouver yet?”

I smiled lovingly at Peter and shook my head no at him. He almost always asked questions like that when he was startled awake. I saw him wipe the sleep from his eyes and look around. He reached for the door handle as if he were going to exit the car. I put a hand on his knee to stop him.

“Peter, I don’t think that’s such a good idea to be going out there just yet. There are a lot of cars here, but where are the people? I have a feeling something is very wrong here.”

Peter glanced over at me with a puppy dog face and pouted for a moment. He was like a little kid sometimes. But maybe he really had to use the bathroom. We’d been driving for quite some time, and we did need a pit stop.

“Nina honey, I promise to be careful. I really have to go... You know what I mean... I’ll be right back. Stay with the kids and lock the doors.”

I sighed reluctantly and watched Peter’s figure retreat to the men’s restroom. I still think there is something wrong with this picture. There weren’t many people around. The people I was seeing right now, they were dirty and looked very frightened. I saw a woman huddled under the awning of the building where the restrooms were housed. Three children crouched near her, seeking warmth. They were all small children. I turned away, the sight was almost too much and it brought tears to my eyes.

Maia’s expression caught my attention. She was looking straight at me, but not seeing. It could be another one of her visions. She was eerily quiet for what seemed like an eternity. Her eyes seemed to cloud over, and they held a deep sadness that I somehow couldn’t relate to.

“Nina, what was it like knowing Emma was growing inside of you? I only saw flashes of what she looked like when she was growing inside your womb just now. She wasn’t very big when you lost her was she?”

A lump formed in my throat. It hurt to talk about Emma, it really did. I was startled when I heard Jamie begin to fuss behind me. I knew when she got hungry; she’d hiccup whenever she did. I’d have to get to her before she woke both Eddy and Will. I quietly opened up the driver’s side door and climbed out, careful about closing the door behind me. Maia had gathered my hungry child into her arms and placed her in mine when I opened up the door.

I’d have to find some place to feed Jamie. The bathroom was my best bet here, but I couldn’t leave Maia alone with Will, Ellie and Eddy. I’d have to wait until Peter got back. I rocked Jamie to try and calm her.

“I know you’re hungry sweetie, I’ll feed you as soon as daddy gets back I promise.”

I tried my best to keep her calm, but she only got louder and her face was already as bright as a tomato. She turned so red when she got upset. I saw someone’s finger stroke the bottom of Jamie’s foot, I turned thinking that it was Maia next to me, but it wasn’t her. She was still in the car. A woman with a warn and dirty looking face was stroking Jamie’s foot with her bony fingers. I scowled at the woman and snatched Jamie out of her reach. At this reaction I had made, Jamie screamed at the top of her lungs. She made a startled jerk reaction and continued crying. She was not only hungry, now she was frightened. The woman with the warn and dirty face peered up at me with little black beady eyes. She was strange looking.

“May I hold your baby? All she needs is a little comforting.”

I glared at the woman, was she insane? I wasn’t letting her hold Jamie, let alone let her feed her... Creepy woman... Though she had a worn and dirty face, she couldn’t have been more than 20 at least... I saw Peter walking towards us, I sighed in relief, and he had saved me from lashing out at this strange woman who I didn’t even know. Peter cleared his throat.

“May I help you ma’am? If you’ve got an injury, I can help you. I’m a doctor. But if you don’t, then I’m going to have to ask you to leave us alone. My daughter and my wife are none of your concern. Is that understood...?”

I could see the woman nodding her head yes, and she seemed defeated by Peter’s words. She tried once more to reach for Jamie, but I held her away. Jamie was fussier now, and she wasn’t going to wait any longer.

“Yes I do understand sir; it’s just that, your baby she’s hungry.”

I shook my head, and Peter ushered me towards the car. I didn’t have to go to the bathroom anymore. Crazy woman... I felt so overwhelmed suddenly, and I felt my knees go weak. Maia saw this and ran out of the car, taking Jamie from my arms just as I was collapsing. Before I felt myself hit the ground, Peter caught me. I was feeling light-headed. What was going on?

“Nina, honey, I want you to relax. Put your head between your legs for a few minutes. It’ll help control with the light-headedness. Just keep taking deep breaths, that’s it.”

Peter carefully helped me sit down on the sidewalk with his good arm. I must have caused him some pain when he caught me. But if I did, he wasn’t showing it right now. He was more concerned about me rather than the pain he might be experiencing from his healing collarbone.

“I... didn’t hurt you... when I fell... did I?”

Even with my head between my knees, I could see the look of genuine concern plastered on his unshaven face. I was out of breath strangely. What was happening to me? I felt Peter place his hand on my back and rub it in large circular motions.

“Shh, don’t talk honey. Don’t talk; just keep taking deep breaths in and out. In and out. That’s my good girl.”

"Maia asked about Emma, but I couldn’t tell her what happened. I couldn’t. It’s just too hard...”

I felt the caress of Peter’s hand on my back as a comforting gesture. Once we got to Portland everything would change, everything would change. I shrugged away from him and got up, making my way towards the car.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a couple of hours now since we had left the rest area with the strange woman that had tried to take Jamie as her own child. Peter was awake now, and we were leaving Vancouver. Portland was not too far now... We were here, we had finally made it. I rejoiced as we were crossing the weathered green I-5 bridge that separated both Oregon and Washington. I could see Peter next to me now glancing at a sign at one of the support beams and it read; ‘Entering Oregon. Leaving Washington.

Thanks for visiting! Please come again!’ Once we were over the bridge, my smile grew wider, but only because there was more life here than I had ever imagined. Traffic was bustling here, and everything seemed so full of life. Everyone went 55 miles per hour here, but their driving not as aggressive as I might be. It was rather laid-back. I switched the radio on to see if we got any kind of signal. Voila! No static! “... You’re listening to 1190 Kex Portland’s news radio. This just in, refugees are pouring into Portland and flooding the Portland Rescue Mission. Hundreds of Washingtonian refugees are pouring in at a rate of seventy to one-hundred per hour from all parts of Washington State. We advise that if you are a refugee, please go to the refugee shelter on Southwest Mall and 3rd avenue for assistance with housing and job placement. Stay tuned here for the latest developments on the refugee crisis...”

Is that what we were? Refugees in crisis? Well I’m sure there are cities all over this country that are helping fleeing refugees find a safe place to be. In fact, all over the world, but of course we didn’t hear about it in Seattle because of Jordan Collier’s widespread communications blackout. It seemed like bliss to me to finally be somewhere I could feel safe. I hoped we could find housing... We were now across the I-5 Bridge in making our way towards downtown Portland on the freeway.

This would be our safe haven.

To Be Continued...


	10. An unusual place to live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

December 16th, 2007

The sounds around me had become so familiar, every time I heard them; I’d repeat them to myself. How we ended up living in an abandoned MAX train I’ll never know. Peter is working on getting us into some housing, but there is a long list ahead of us of people who have been waiting for housing since last year... I rolled my eyes for about the seven-thousandth time today when the intercom went off.

I wish there was some kind of mute button on the recording so I didn’t have to listen to that all day... The doors opened and closed every few minutes, letting in a cold draft from outside... These weren’t ideal living conditions here on this train, but we had heat, and a dry place to stay... We had food from a food bank a couple of blocks away that was keeping us sustained... But I know we can’t live on it forever. Peter’s arm was getting better every day, but he was still very sore. I watched as he went up into the operator’s cabin to try and see if he could turn off the recording. Will sat on one of the seats away from the door up by where Peter was.

“Mommy, why do we live in a train? Where’s the person who drives it?”

I smiled wearily at my son, though the situation we were in was not as dire as I thought it would be, I wondered what else would happen to us. Shaking my head I looked out the window, longing to be living somewhere else...

“Well sweetie, I’m not sure why we’re living in a train. You’ll have to ask daddy why we’re living in one instead of a house... The person who drives this train left it here a long time ago...”

Will only frowned and turned back to playing with his toy train set. I’m glad he was trying to occupy himself with his toys. War was nothing a child should be so immersed in... I turned my attention to Jamie, whose sole attention was trying to put her fingers into her mouth. I rubbed her stomach with the tips of my fingers. She gurgled and smiled at me.

“I don’t think you can fit your entire fist into your mouth sweetie. Besides it’s not food...”

I had to keep thinking to myself that even though there was a war raging, and hundreds of refugees were pouring into this city hour by hour, I still have my family here with me. Will is on the downside again... The hospitals are so full of people, their doing triage out on the street! Luckily we’re keeping his blood sugar up because we’ve been lucky to find bananas. Will loves bananas... On the first day we got here, Peter and I had tried to get Will in to see a doctor... To assess his condition anyways...

Peter could address his condition just as well as any other doctor could, but he was an OBGYN... He helped pregnant women... That was his specialty... He fell back on Pediatrics... It had been a few minutes since I had heard the annoying recording over the loudspeaker... Peter must have found a way to either turn the recording off, or he found a way to mute it. I averted my attention from Jamie’s happy gurgles when Peter came down the stairs and sat down in the seat next to me.

“Took me a little bit to find it, but, there was a mute button next to the intercom... I’ve also found a way to dim the lights and make it so the doors will stay closed without having to turn the train off...”

I saw Peter’s hands reach into Jamie’s makeshift basinet and pick her up, supporting her tiny head as he held her... To tell you the truth, Peter hadn’t had much time to hold Jamie since we left Seattle, today is the first time I’ve truly seen him at peace holding his youngest child in his arms... It’s a good thing Jamie was light; Peter’s arm was still healing... At least he didn’t have to wear that sling I made for him anymore... I looked at Peter when I thought I heard him speaking to me. “Honey, can you get me a burp rag for Jamie? She needs to burp...”

My mind was reeling. How could Peter be talking to me without speaking? Was he speaking to me with his mind? I looked at him startled... Then I concentrated on him...

“Yeah sure... But how is it that I can hear what you’re thinking Peter? We can read each other’s thoughts? Interesting... I thought only Gary Navarro could do that... He was the only telepath... But I guess you and me are now too...”

Things would be different now that Peter and I could read each other’s thoughts... We could talk about stuff that Maia and my other children shouldn’t hear... I quickly grabbed for a burp rag in one of the bags and handed it to Peter...

“Thanks honey. I’ve known for a little while that I could read people’s thoughts... I just didn’t know you could too... These must be our powers...”

I nodded my head slightly, hunched over, and moaned suddenly holding my side... Something was wrong with my side... It wasn’t hurting before now... It hurt worse every time I took a breath in... Could it be my Appendix? My eyes grew wide with fright as I looked at Peter...

“Peter, something’s wrong with my side... It hurts me every time I take a breath... Do you think it could be my appendix? Or maybe my spleen? Peter, I’m scared...”

Peter carefully burped Jamie and wiped the saliva from her mouth with the burp rag and then placed her back in her makeshift basinet... He then gingerly helped me lie down across a row of seats away from everyone else... From my position on the seats I was lying on, I could see Maia and Ellie both looking at me with frightened expressions plastered to their faces...

“It’ll be okay honey. I’m going to press down lightly on your stomach, just tell me if I find a spot that’s really tender... Something could be inflamed...”

I bit my lip as Peter’s fingers began to press down on my stomach lightly... I was really scared of what he was going to tell me, but without the proper instruments it was hard to tell... I winced and bit my lip harder when Peter found the sore spot on my left side...

“Right there Peter. That’s really tender right there. What is it?”

Peter kept pressing down on my left side towards my abdomen... I winced more; he was trying to make sure he had his diagnosis right before he told me...

“Nina that’s your appendix... We need to get you to the hospital right now before it bursts... If it burst you would have major internal bleeding... I can get us close enough to the hospital as I can... Driving this train will be faster... Sit tight while I get us going...”

I nodded my head and stayed lying down on the row of seats... I tried not to move too much because it only made the pain worse... Peter sprung into action and flew up the stairs and back into the operator’s cabin... He left the door open while he started the train...I felt as we went into motion... I watched all the levers he was maneuvering to try and control the train... Maia and Ellie came and sat down across from me. Ellie looked sad and was about to cry, and Maia was worried sick with guilt... What for, I didn’t know... Her voice quavered with sorrow.

“It’s my fault Nina... I didn’t tell you about my vision... I saw that this was going to happen... I didn’t want to tell you because I was scared... It’s going to get worse though before it gets better... I’d hold onto that yellow bar railing if I were you Nina. Something’s about to happen that will make you scream...”

The pain in my left side by my abdomen increased ten-fold suddenly, and I screamed so loud I thought the whole world could hear me... I bit my lip and grabbed onto the yellow bar railing Maia had insisted I use holding it with my life. Will’s crying caught me off guard... I didn’t want to scare him, but I was scaring myself right now with what was happening to me...

“MOMMY!”

I swallowed and tried to give Will a reassuring smile so that he would know that I would be alright. However, the pain was becoming too great for words. Peter came to my rescue.

“It’s alright Will. Mommy’s going to be just fine. Something hurts inside her tummy so we have to take her to the hospital.”

This was worse than the pain I went through giving birth to Jamie. Much, much worse. I only hoped that Peter could get me to a hospital in time... As guilty as I think Maia felt, she came over to me and grabbed for my hand. She was trying to comfort me. She was a very brave young girl... When I was her age, I wasn’t quite so brave... I swallowed hard and held her hand tight... She tried apologizing to me again...

“I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you this before Nina. Really I am... Sometimes I wished I were a normal kid who didn’t see the future like I did... Is the pain really that bad? Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?”

I shook my head no and tried to shift my body into a more comfortable position again, only causing more agony to ensue afterwards... Tears were streaming down my worn out face... I hadn’t slept well in the past few days; maybe it was because of my appendix... With the pain increasing, I hope that isn’t a sign that it’s about to burst... I would die if it did... I brushed away a stray tear and tried not to think about it... Maia’s hand never left mine as the train kept moving...

“No, but I do appreciate you trying to comfort me though... I’m glad we moved here, even though we live in a MAX train... I know we’ll find housing soon...”

Ellie was crying too, just like Will was... The pain was so intense now that it was near searing white hot... I felt my eyes closing, and I could no longer keep them open as the pain deepened. I could feel Maia shaking my shoulder to keep me awake, but I couldn’t find the will in me to open my eyes...

“Nina you have to stay awake. You can’t fall asleep! Wake up!”

Everything around me was growing fuzzy and the voices were beginning to blend together as one. I felt Peter stop the train. Then suddenly, I felt a couple of fingers at my carotid artery in my neck. Light surged into my eyes and Peter opened up my left eye to check for pupil dilation. Peter was very blurry and I couldn’t concentrate on him... I was having a hard time catching my breath too...

“Honey breathe. Come on breathe now. Nina you can’t fall asleep right now...”

My eyes closed once more, and I felt myself begin to shake and shiver like an earthquake. Something was wrong... Could it be Septic shock? Peter would have to assess that himself before making a proper diagnosis. No, I couldn’t be going into Septic shock because I didn’t have blood poisoning... Light was forced into my eyes once more as Peter opened my right eye to check for pupil dilation. I could see him shake his head even though one of my eyes was open.

“Nina sweetie, I need you to open up your eyes for me. Can you hear my voice? Can you squeeze my hand?”

All their voices were fuzzy now, and I could barely hear them... I blacked out...

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I came to in a room full of people I didn’t recognize. My eyes were fuzzy and I couldn’t quite make out the faces of the four people around me. They were wearing white lab coats so I knew that they were doctors and I was in the hospital. Voices were so scrambled I had a hard time distinguishing whom was speaking.

“Nurse could you get Mrs. Jarvis-Morgan some more Anesthesia? Let’s also turn her Oxygen intake up to twenty percent. I’m not pleased with her breathing; she’s got diminished breath sounds in her left lung. Start another iv and make sure she’s hydrated.”

My eyes followed the blur of people around me. I began to wonder where my children were, and if they were safe... After all, Jamie was still nursing and she would want to eat soon... My best efforts to pull myself up from the operating table were almost in vein. But I finally succeeded.

“I need to get to my children. My youngest, Jamie, she’s still breastfeeding...”

I saw a kind face in the sea of unfamiliar people around me. He gently eased me back onto the table and was genuinely concerned. I closed my eyes and shook my head for a moment, swearing that the kind face was Rob.

“Nina I’m going to have to ask you to remain still and let us work. We’ll get you some more Anesthesia. We’re in the middle of removing your appendix. Until you get out of surgery, your daughter will be fed formula. As soon as you’re rested up, you can start breastfeeding again. Now relax, the Anesthesiologist is here now to give you more.”

I nodded my head, but even as blurry as my vision was right now, I could make out the doctor’s facial features and kind eyes... I was sure now that it was Rob. The brother I had lost when Promicin spread throughout the entire city of Seattle like a rampant disease. As painful as those first days of the war were, how could I believe that my brother hadn’t died after all? He was standing right in front of me. So, how could he be dead? Did that mean my sister was here too, with Rachel and Susan?

I had to hope that the day I got the terrible news that they had died was just some cruel joke... It had to be... I reached up to the man I thought was Rob with my hand for a second. I tried desperately to pull him into a hug, my voice quavering with near hysterics.

“Rob, you’re alive! I thought I’d lost you and Nora for good! Are Rachel and Susan alright? Please tell me they are...”

Though I was now becoming sleepy, I could momentarily see with clarity. The doctor in front of me definitely looked like Rob. The spitting image of him in every way. Down to the eyebrows and the coloring of his eyes... His sympathetic gaze caught me off guard, but his words cut me to the quick.

“Nina, I’m going to have to ask you to relax. Who is Rob? Is he someone you’d like me to contact? Or would you like your husband Doctor Morgan to come and sit in with you?”

The man in front of me didn’t seem to understand what I was trying to tell him. He is Robert Callahan; Head of Pediatrics at Saint Michael’s hospital in Seattle. He must think I’ve lost my mind.

“Rob, how can you not know who you are? You’re Doctor Robert Callahan, Head of Pediatrics at Saint Michael’s hospital in Seattle, Washington. You’re also married to my younger sister Nora, and you have two beautiful children, Rachel and Susan...”

I swallowed and looked into his eyes, trying to search for anything that might jog his memory and help him figure out who he is... Sleep was starting to envelop me but I managed to get one last thing out before I lost consciousness.

“Why does there have to be a war? We moved here from Seattle to get away from all the strife... To start a new life, and raise my kids in a good place and have a good house... We live in a MAX train... We live in an abandoned MAX train that sits smack in the middle of the Galleria and Southwest 10th avenue... We have to get out... We have to get out...”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I awoke to lights and the sound of machines whirring loudly next to my ears. I went into panic mode and searched frantically for my children... I didn’t even see my husband in the room with me. Where was he?

“Peter? Peter!”

The door to my room came bustling open and into my arms flew Peter his eyes as wild as my own. I found myself shaking in his arms, not sure of the events unfolding in front of me. I felt him kissing my hair comforting me. Then I felt his lips touch the nape of my neck. Can’t get serious here, there were camera’s everywhere. I pushed him away from me, things would have to be halted for now.

“Are the kids alright? I got scared when I woke up and couldn’t find you... Maybe that sounds a little childish, but it’s how I feel right now...”

Peter searched my eyes for any kind of answer to the question he was about to ask me. I was light-headed and confused... Where were my children, and how could I get them in the room with me? My tears showed it all...

“Nina it’s alright. The kids are just fine... You’ve been through a lot in the past few days, us moving here and all. We just need to take it one step at a time okay? The doctor that was operating on you said the Anesthesia wore off in the middle of the procedure and you woke up. He said that you looked right at him and called him Rob. You know Rob’s dead. He’s not coming back, now why did you say something like that for? That doctor’s name is Frank Carlington. No relation to James Carlington. I know he looks like Rob and even speaks like him, but it’s not him honey. Please try to understand that.”

I shook my head no at Peter, he was wrong on so many different levels it wasn’t even funny. The man that was called Frank Carlington was Rob. He was, and I was going to prove it. Once I got out of this bed anyways... I hadn’t even realized that they had taken out my spleen in the first place... Peter showed me the four inch scar where the doctor’s took out my appendix. I grimaced at the sight of it, the color of it was disgusting, red and purple, and the black stitches making it look strange. I turned my head slightly to the left when I heard a baby’s faint crying next door. I then pulled my hospital gown to cover up my disgusting looking scar and looked at Peter with a wary smile.

“That baby in the room next to us sounds new. I bet the mother was thankful her child was born here and not in Washington like Jamie. By the way, where are the kids?”

Peter placed a kiss on my forehead and smiled brightly at me. He was happy that I was safe and that I wasn’t hurt anymore.

“Don’t worry Nina; I left them in the care of a nurse in the children’s play area. Last time I checked on them, Maia was reading Ellie and Will a story, and a couple of nurses were bottle feeding both Eddy and Jamie. We’ll have to supplement with Jamie for a while just until you get better. I was so worried about you when you were in the OR. But Doctor Carlington said you pulled through nicely and he says you’ll only need those stitches in for four weeks and then we can come back in and take them out. You know that baby you mentioned next door, she was a miracle. Both she and her mother were both involved in car accident with a semi-truck. When she was brought in, she was in active labor, and she managed to give birth to a healthy little girl. She was several days shy of her original due date, but her daughter is the cause for celebration. The woman and the baby were unharmed... Miraculously. I don’t see how they survived such a crash; they were pulled out with the Jaws of Life.”

I sighed in relief; well at least the children were being cared for while Peter checked in on me. It was a good thing the woman ended up here at this hospital. I didn’t know what hospital we were at, and not knowing my way around Portland very well didn’t help any either. Peter handed me a glass of water after he had filled the glass, and I was grateful when he put it up to my lips and helped me drink from it. I was so thirsty, but when you go through surgery, you often become very dehydrated. A smiled was plastered all over Peter’s face; I wondered what he was thinking.

“What’s so funny Peter? Even in light of everything that’s happened, you still find ways to make things better for all of us. What is it?”

The smile on his face was mischievous, something I hadn’t seen out of him in such a long time. It made me happy to know that he was trying to stay positive even in the midst of all the bad things that have happened.

“They’ve offered me a job here at the hospital.”

My smile widened and I pulled Peter back into my arms for a kiss. Maybe now we’d get to live in a real house instead of a MAX train. I wanted to see my children though, to see with my own eyes that they were safe...

“That’s wonderful cariño! We should get the kids in here to celebrate. Have you been able to speak with anyone about housing? We could very well live off what you’re making, but I’d like to find a job too, I feel useless if I don’t... But who’s going to hire an ex-NTAC director? A private contractor? The military?”

I shifted my weight to get comfortable again; I need to use the restroom. I looked at Peter, but used my mind to speak.

“Peter, could you help me up? I need to use the bathroom.”

I saw Peter nod his head and gingerly help me out of bed. As we made our way towards the bathroom, I dragged an iv cart with a push in my arm behind me. It was hard to move without causing myself some kind of pain. I’d be sore for awhile, but I’d heal in time. I was very grateful for Peter helping to the bathroom. No matter how much I wanted to be left alone while I did my business, Peter was worried I’d fall and wouldn’t be able to get back up again. I made him go out of the bathroom.

When I was finished, I slowly shuffled my feet and made my way back towards my bed. As I was settling myself back under the covers again, Peter had a very concerned look on his face.

“I just spoke to your doctor. He says he wants you to stay in bed for the rest of the time. A nurse is coming in to put in a catheter in a few minutes. Your doctor said it wasn’t a very good idea that you get out of bed until you’ve fully healed. I agree with him. Now, what the nurse is going to do when she comes in is she’s going to numb your bladder so you won’t feel a thing when it goes in.”

I sighed, frustrated by all that was going on.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was tired, and I wanted to see mommy and daddy. When would these nice lady’s in white let me see them? I like it here with Maia and Ellie and Eddie and my little sister Jamie, but I wanted mommy and daddy too... My tummy hurts now, but I don’t know why. The watch thingy on my arm is making noise, I can’t read so I don’t know what the numbers mean...

Maybe if I lay down here on the floor for a little while my tummy will feel better... I closed my eyes and lie down on my coat mommy had given me. I heard voices around me now, they sound worried. Why? Then I hear daddy.

“Will its okay son, daddy’s right here. Please stay here with us. Mommy needs you.”

What did daddy mean? Where was I going? I can’t open up my eyes even though daddy tells me to. I was hot now and shaking all over. Was I sick? It had been a really long time since the last time I had been sick. Mommy and daddy used to give me a mean poky thing in my arm, but it was a long time ago now... Why couldn’t I open my eyes, and why was daddy so worried?

Is this what happens when I haven’t had my medicine in a long time? The beepy noise from my watch thingy was getting louder and it was hurting my ears. There was a lady close to me using big words, words I didn’t understand.

“Doctor Morgan, your son Will, he’s fallen into a diabetic coma. When was the last time he was given a shot of insulin?”

Daddy sounded even more worried now. I could hear him crying and I wanted to tell him that I would be okay... But daddy knew what was wrong, he knew. But what was going to happen to me now?

To Be Continued...


	11. Making things comfortable for my son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

December 21st, 2007 

7:45 a.m.

I’ve been up all night watching over Will. Peter is beside himself with grief. He keeps telling himself that he could have prevented this if only we had, had more Glucose or Insulin... The hospital ran out the same day Will fell into his coma... We asked when they were going to get more, but they said they were having trouble getting shipments in from the Red Cross because Jordan Collier isn’t letting it into Seattle where the Red Cross helicopter is waiting to take it. I held Will’s little hand in mine, hoping that it would bring some kind of comfort on any kind of level I could find right now. I watched as the machines whirred and whined at nothing and to nobody in particular.

Jordan Collier was making me angrier daily. I know I shouldn’t get so upset over someone who is three hundred miles away, but he was holding my son’s medicine inside Seattle.

“Will sweetie, mommy and daddy love you very much. We want you to know that we’ve tried to give you everything you’d ever need in life... Daddy tried so hard to help you stay healthy, and he’s working on getting you better again. I brought you blankie so you won’t get cold... Here you go baby...”

I let the tears spill from my eyes after I placed his baby blanket over the top of him. He seemed so small and frail, I hardly recognized him at all. I guess you could say I was angry at everything. At Jordan Collier, Gabriel Hewitt for nearly ruining our lives completely, and the war in general. It was nearly destroying the entire world, and it was tearing my family apart. If I lost my little boy, I don’t know what I’ll do... I’ve already lost my other little girl; I won’t lose my son too... I let go of Will’s hand and went over to the window and looked out it.

The scenes outside had become an everyday occurrence. People in the streets were beginning to fight over food, and men in uniforms with guns would show up to break it up... I knew moving here to get away from all the chaos in Seattle would soon spill down here... It didn’t take long either... How could people live like this? How could they tear each other apart over a piece of fruit? Food was plentiful down here, but for how long? All the homeless shelters were filled to capacity each day and night with people who fled from all over the country... Oregon is the only state left on the West Coast that is a safe haven for refugees seeking shelter from the growing carnage all around us...

I try my best to shield my children from it as best I can because it is not something they need to see. A cup of steaming hot coffee appeared in my vision suddenly. I turned to see Peter a weary smile plastered on his face. He was trying to stay positive, I knew that. But how could he stay so positive in a situation like this? I didn’t understand at all. I accepted the coffee gratefully.

“Thank-you cariño. This is just what I need right now. It’ll calm my nerves. Look at them out there, how can they fight over something that is so plentiful here? How could people fight over food? They haven’t gotten to the point where they’re digging out of garbage cans yet.”

I felt Peter’s arm snake around my waist and a hand protectively on it. It had been months since I had a strong cup of fresh coffee. Coffee had been a hard thing to come by in Seattle now. Jordan Collier’s ban on imports from South America didn’t help either... I felt Peter’s breath on my hair.

“No their not digging out of garbage cans yet, and I hope they never do... Will’s coloring looks a little better today. His overall SATS are holding in at 92 percent. Much better than yesterday. Maia is in the playroom down the hall helping the children put on a play. She said it was ‘the only way to keep Ellie’s mind off everything that’s happening’. Don’t worry; we’re still working on getting that Glucose and Insulin down here from Seattle. Last I’d heard, some hospital officials up there were in talks with Collier himself. Let’s hope this’ll turn out for the best. Don’t give up just yet...”

I nodded my head and took a small sip of my coffee. Things weren’t so bad here. Sure, people fought over food every once in a while, but this was nothing compared to the way Seattle is. Today was Peter’s day off, so he spent the day at his son’s bedside. I saw him sit in the chair next to the bed. He slipped his enormous hand into Will’s small one and held it gently. He took such care with our son. His words shocked me...

“I’m begging you son, please stay with us. Mommy and I really need you... Your sister Jamie too... You’re my only son... Please don’t leave me...”

His words left a strange lump in my throat, one that wouldn’t ebb immediately. I shook my head to help deal with the situation unfolding in front of my eyes. How could I keep going on like this? Everyday I knew would just get worse. Peter knew it too, but he was trying to keep a strong hold on what he knew would help comfort us. Not the inevitable. No matter how much we denied it, we knew that Will would not last forever... At least not without his medicine. But I had to hold onto hope. I just had to.

“Peter, it’s alright. We’ll be alright. All we can do now is make things comfortable for him. You yourself just said he was doing fine. We should be lucky and count our blessings for as long as Will has lasted. When and if he wakes up, we’ll be here right by his side.”

Peter was still beside himself with grief that this was happening to our son. I’m sure there are many more people in just as desperate a situation as us. I squeezed Peter’s hand comfortingly. I’d give him another son if Will did come to pass on... I’d give him another son, but it would be a few more years from now. If Maia was still with us then, she’d be fifteen... Jamie will be walking by then... She’ll be two... I hope we can find Diana before things get much worse... Peter’s eyes were so full of; well I didn’t know what it was exactly... But it filled me with a glint of hope.

“I’m going to get that shipment of insulin down here if it’s the last thing I do Nina. I promised you I’d do that, and I will. For our son’s sake. He’s running out of time now... Time isn’t on his side... Whether we choose to believe it or not... It’s already happening...”

Not trying to be dramatic here, but I’ve already lost two children, and I wasn’t about to lose another. Emma and Lexi, my two girls, wouldn’t be forgotten, but Will had a fighting chance if only Jordan Collier would let that shipment of supplies down here. I took a deep breath; I was still thinking the way I used to at NTAC. Being the boss had been wonderful, yet at times frustrating at the same time... So much pressure from your superiors, far above your head... Especially ones who worked for the Pentagon...

You know, ever since I’ve gotten out of bed and discharged from this hospital, I’ve been told to take it one step at a time. But do I listen to that? No... The thing that’s keeping Peter going right now, is the hope that Jordan Collier will let those supplies get to the medical teams stationed on top of Saint Michael’s. 

When I pulled away, his face was filled with hope and a sparkle in his eyes that I admired with all my heart. My head whipped in the direction of Will’s bed when I heard the machines beep wildly. I was about to rush to my son's side, but Peter stopped me.

“He’s okay; he just tried to take breath in on his own. But that’s what the machines for, doing that for him. How did we get to this point? How did we come to live in such a place that is starting to fall apart now?”

I wasn’t sure how to answer Peter’s questions, but I did know that we’d get through this, just like we got through everything else... I took his hand in mine and squeezed it tight. I took in a deep breath and held my head high in confidence. Then as if my prayers had been answered about seeing my children, a couple of nurses came in with Ellie, Eddy, Maia and Jamie. Ellie’s face lit up and she nearly jumped into my arms, but I stopped her before she could go barreling me over.

“Auntie Nina! When can we go home? When is Will going to get better?”

My gut twisted in guilt over that very question Ellie had just asked. I wished Will would wake up and speak to me. He eats out of a feeding tube at one end and relieves himself from a tube at the other... I shook my head frustrated by all this... It seemed to be happening all at once. I know I shouldn’t say why me, but it’s how I feel.

“I don’t know when we’ll be home. Sweetie, Will’s very sick and he’s not going to get better. He’s...”

I turned away from Ellie and towards the window avoiding her wide curious eyes. Tears were forming at the corners of my eyes now. I knew I couldn’t avoid what was happening to my son. We’d just have to work harder to get that medicine to him. But with that ban Jordan Collier issued, it’s not happening anytime soon...

“He’s what Auntie Nina?”

I could not look at Ellie and tell what would happen to Will. I could not. I looked at Jamie who was squirming in the nurse’s arms. She carefully placed my squirming child in my arms, and she seemed to calm somewhat.

“Mommy missed you Jamie. Has mommy’s little girl been good? I know, you don’t like being bottle fed. You like the other way... Mommy spoils you like that switching you back and forth...”

Somehow, looking at Jamie, made me think of Emma... I missed Emma so much, but there was nothing I could do to bring her back again... Jamie was occupying herself with putting her foot into her mouth. I saw Peter place himself next to Ellie.

“Ellie sweetie, there’s something I want you to try and understand... Will’s a very sick little boy, and he’s not going to get better. He fell asleep and now he won’t wake up.”

Ellie seemed to understand what was going on. I smiled down at Jamie who still had her foot in her mouth to amuse herself. She let go of her foot and let out a loud discouraged yelp to me. She was starting to get fussy all of a sudden. Maia looked at me and smiled.

“Would you like me to get a blanket for you Nina? I’m sure you’d like to feed Jamie privately...”

Maia’s smiled faded as quickly as it had come. Her eyes grew wide with fear, and tears were now cascading down her face... Her choked sobs almost hindered her speech.

“Nina, I’m sorry! Will has no time left! The helicopter carrying the medicine crash landed in La Center! The machines are beeping like crazy and the nurses and doctors are yelling at one another! I’m sorry!”

A lump began to form in my throat as the words that came out of her mouth buzzed in my ears for what seemed like eternity. I was startled when Jamie had somehow managed to latch onto my breast through my clothes and was trying to nurse. I pulled her away for a moment and tried to let everything soak into my head. She was getting very upset now, and was fussing and kicking. I tried to console her hungry cries, but somehow at the moment, my heart wasn’t in it... I carefully placed Jamie into Peter’s arms, if I was going to take action; I had to do it now before it was too late.

“I’m going to talk to Doctor Springville about Will’s medication. See if he has any say on how the supplies are going to get here faster before that Red Cross helicopter crash lands in La Center.”

I straightened out my shirt and opened up the door, exposing myself to the world outside my son’s room. The hustle and bustle of the crowds of people outside my son’s room were almost deafening to me. But I pressed on, and I was going to find Doctor Springville. I was going to give him a piece of my mind. My baby was in a bed with wires going in and out of him and there wasn’t anything more that I could do for him? I remember the day I gave birth to him, I remember everything.

I had asked for an epidural, the nurse had come in with one and in it went... But she must not have given me enough because it wore off while I was delivering my son Will. My mind was racing as I caught up with Doctor Springville, who was about to check up on a patient.

“Doctor Springville, if you have a moment, I’d like to speak with you... It’s about my son...”

I saw him shove the chart in his hands into the hands of a nurse walking past him. He hurriedly looked at the nurse who seemed flustered by the chart that had just been shoved into her arms.

“Carlie, I want you to give Mr. Robb’s chart a good once over, and if you see any corrections that need to be made, come and find me, I’ll be with the Jarvis-Morgan boy in room 305A.”

My heart almost leapt with joy as those words came out of Doctor Springville’s mouth. He had been Will’s attending doctor since the beginning, since he started showing signs of serious deterioration in his medical condition. Now, he had his sole attention on me.

“You have to help my son! Is there any way you could help speed up the process of getting that shipment of insulin from the Red Cross in Seattle? My son is running out of time, and I don’t want to lose him. I want to see him graduate high school, and go to college. See him raise his own family... I’ve come too far and worked too hard to quit now...”

I wasn’t telling the whole truth about how all of this surrounding my son was affecting my current state of health. I was spending my time trying to make my son as comfortable as possible, and ignoring my own health. My mind was only focused on my son, who was fighting for his life at the moment. Doctor Springville held a sympathetic gaze towards me. He knew that I was a worried mother, only trying to protect her only son, but there were also procedures to follow too.

“I understand what you’re going through right now Nina. The frustration, and the anger, and you’re probably thinking; why did this happen to my son? We are doing everything we possibly can to help him out. Now, a Red Cross helicopter has the supplies with them and is on the way here. We can only hope it makes it here safely. With the communication’s blackout Jordan Collier issued, we can only go as far in as La Center.”

La Center rang in my ears for a moment after Doctor Springville said it. My gut twisted in sickening horror as I was reminded of what Maia had seen in her vision. I gazed over at Springville who had a radio at his hip, attached to his belt loop on his Dockers. I heard it static, and then voices came in, sounding very panicked.

“Doctor Springville, if you’re there, please come in. This is Northwest Medical Teams/Red Cross helicopter 115469, please come in Doctor Springville.”

Doctor Springville picked up the Sprint/Nextel radio and pressed a button, about to issue his acknowledgment that he was there.

“Yes Carl this is Doctor Springville, what’s the status of your ETA?”

My gut twisted in horror some more as I heard a high pitched whirring in the background. Then I knew, the helicopter was going down. Did the pilot and co-pilot have time to get out before it hit the ground?

“The engines are jamming up, some sort of electrical failure! Trying to re-route power to engines! We’re just over La Center! We’re going down! We’re going down! Brace for impact Charlie!”

I had to look away and close my eyes as I heard a loud the whirring become so unbearable to listen to that I felt that I had to cover my ears, then suddenly, a boom and nothing but static over the airwaves. I saw Doctor Springville’s eyes widen in fear at first, but then it quickly turned to anger. He threw the radio down on the floor violently, cursing it as if it could hear the seething anger in his voice.

“Son of a bitch! That was our only way of getting that much needed medicine down here! And now it’s gone! What the hell am I supposed to do now? There’s nothing left! That was the last of the insulin!”

I stepped away from Doctor Springville, tears flowing down my face in great cascades. This was all Jordan Collier’s fault. It was all his fault! My son was going to lose his life now because there was no medicine left! I was losing my baby! Everything suddenly became chaotic around us. I felt like I was going to pass out when I heard my son’s name being uttered.

“Doctor Springville, code blue in room 305A William Jarvis-Morgan! Doctor Springville, code blue!”

I felt I wasn’t able to stand on my feet anymore, but I pressed on, rushing after Doctor Springville, and bursting back into my son’s hospital room. There were doctors and a handful of nurses in the room all yelling and screaming at each other. My heart sank as I remembered this from Maia’s vision, me at the same time sinking to the floor, feeling my eyes roll to the back of my head. I felt someone catch me. It was Peter; I knew his strong arms anywhere.

“Nina cariña, can you hear me?”

I felt Peter lay me down on something soft. It’s not that I couldn’t hear him, I just didn’t want to open up my eyes, knowing full well the blinding light would give me more of a headache than I’d need right now. I felt someone patting my face gently, and then bright light blinded me as a hand opened up my left eye to examine it. I was living in a nightmare with my son getting worse daily. I knew that eventually I’d have to learn to let go of him. There was nothing more we could do for him, no matter how hard I fought against it all. The blackness was taking over me now, and things were getting quieter and fuzzy.

It felt like it was choking me, and the world seeming was spinning out of control. I could hear the faint worried voices of Maia and Ellie.

“Is she going to be okay? What happened?”

I wished I could answer their question. But I didn’t hear anymore after that. I was now in a bottomless black void, and it was free from any sound. My eyes surged open suddenly, and I sat up, startled by the reaction. My head throbbed and ached with such intensity I nearly fell back again. Peter came into my line of vision.

“Easy honey. You alright?”

I shook my head, unsure of the question he was asking me. Was he asking me if I was okay? Or was he asking if I was doing okay with the situation in front of me? Either way, I wasn’t doing alright at all. I was a complete wreck. Literally. I was in shock, and at the same time trying to determine why that helicopter had crash landed the way it did. My voice came out in choked sobs.

“The helicopter c-crashed with Will’s m-medicine in i-it!”

Peter went reeling on his feet momentarily as I let him soak in what I had just told him. The blank almost incoherent stare Peter gave me was enough to break my heart right then. He knew the inevitable was coming, but so soon? He blinked his eyes at me and then pushed me back down. He kept swallowing, his Adam’s apple moving rapidly throughout the whole process.

“Honey, I need you to stay lying down. How did it come to this? How did it come to losing my only son?”

It broke my heart to hear those words come out of Peter’s mouth, but they were true, we were losing our only son, and there wasn’t anything we could do about it. The machines were the only things keeping him alive, and right now, doctors and a handful of nurses were trying to figure out what was going on with him, and why the machines were going crazy.

I was trying my best to handle this, but it wasn’t working... It was different when it was your family and not the people you work with. Shaking my head in utter defeat, I honestly didn’t know. My mind kept going back to when I first found out I had actually conceived. It was a very emotional and overwhelming day for my entire family. I laughed silently at the thought; Peter had been a nervous wreck, pacing back and forth in the Fertility clinic office. He about went into a dead faint when he’d heard the news that we were finally pregnant.

It was a smooth pregnancy, but a terribly excruciating birth itself. Not to mention that after my water broke and my contractions continued, the epidural wore of at the worst time possible. Peter had stayed right by my side throughout the process, only every once in a while checking with another doctor who had been at the foot of my bed to see if I was doing alright. The world had been a different place in 2003. My mind was reeling as it went back to the present. The whirring machines, loud nurses, and highly stressed out doctors trying desperately in vain to help my little boy.

“Doctor Springville! I need your help over here!”

Peter stayed at my side and was placing a damp cloth onto my forehead. After he placed the cloth onto my forehead, he grabbed onto my wrist carefully taking my pulse. I had to tell him what had just happened out there in the hallway, about what Doctor Springville and I witnessed over his radio, the voices of the now dead Red Cross workers whose helicopter went down over La Center, Washington. Tears began to well up in my eyes, straining my vision quite a bit. The supplies were gone, and they’d never be recovered from the fiery crash. I peered into Peter’s eyes and tried to tell him what had happened.

“I can’t believe this is happening!”

Peter let out a strained choked sob at my findings and gently set my arm down at my side once more. He took out his pen-light from his breast pocket of his shirt. I shook my head at him, even when he wasn’t working, he still insisted on wearing his nice shirt, tie, his expensive watch I got him for Christmas last year, Dockers and his “tuxedo” shoes... He wasn’t one for wearing jeans and a t-shirt... He always wanted to look presentable regardless of the occasion. I couldn’t say anything, look at me, I was wearing a business suit. Why the hell was I wearing one? Why? I had ditched the heels long ago, and was wearing more practical shoes, but still... I guess I wanted to be presentable too...

“Now calm down cariña. Did you hit your head when you fell? Your pupils are dilated. Why is everything falling apart? Why? Why am I losing my son? Why!”

I carefully took his pen-light from his left hand and made him rest his head on my chest for a few minutes. Sobs wracked his body, and I felt like I was holding a very broken man...

My tan colored blazer was soaked in my husband’s tears. His hand went straight to my left one and he began to play with my wedding ring. Both of us turned towards Doctor Springville and his team of other doctors and nurses.

We both turned our attention towards Will, he was awake but very disoriented. Doctor Springville’s voice gave us confidence.

“Nurse, let’s get this breathing tube out of him, he seems to be breathing on his own. If he gets worse, we’ll have to re-intubate." 

Peter walked over to his son’s bed and took his hand in his. His voice was the one I heard first speaking to Will.

“Hijo... I thought I’d lost you for good... These nice doctor’s are going to take this tube you have in your throat out okay? What I want you to do, is to try and squeeze my hand and keep swallowing while this nice nurse and doctor take that out okay?”

Will gave Peter and I a blank stare, but it would take time for him to register what was even going on in the room. There was so much commotion in the room that I wasn’t sure myself what was going on. He started crying, which was making him begin to gag and choke on the tubing they were beginning to take out. I placed my left hand onto his stomach and rubbed it gently, trying to keep him calm.

“Easy baby, take it easy. I want you to keep swallowing. Keep doing what mommy’s doing. You see me? Watch my throat, see, keep swallowing. That’s it. Almost through sweetie. I know that feels funny, but we’re almost there. We’re almost there. That’s it. That’s my good boy, okay all done. We’re all done. I know that was scary... Here, have some water. Drink slowly sweetie. There we go.”

My baby was alright. For now... I don’t understand though, usually diabetics when they fall into a diabetic coma don’t wake up. Peter and I would have to study this carefully. It was strange that he had regained consciousness like that, and was now looking all of us straight in the eye. I didn’t understand one bit. Peter had now regained his surroundings around him, and was desperately trying to pull Will into his arms. As he was about to pull our son into them, Will vomited all over the front of Peter’s shirt.

He ignored the stench of it as he went about wiping the corners of Will’s mouth with a dampened cloth in his hand. His right hand he kept up to his mouth to filter out the stench. The smell was terrible. I saw Peter cough a little as he continued to clean the corners of Will’s mouth. I glanced at the contents that were splattered all over my husband’s shirt. What were those red spots lining all this brown goop?

“You’re not feeling good are you? Well, daddy knows just what to make you feel better. How about we get you into a nice warm bath, and get you cleaned up? Then afterwards, mommy will tuck you in and we’ll read you, your favorite story: Good Night Moon...”

A lump formed in each of our throats, that was Lexi’s favorite book too, but she already knew how to read by his age, she was the smart one in the family...

Maia and Ellie had gone back to the playroom, while two of the nurses cared for Eddy and Jamie. I was torn between staying with my son, and going with Peter.

“Doctor Springville, do you think that Will is going to be alright for a little while? Only for a little while until I know if Peter is going to pull through alright.”

Doctor Springville nodded his head and went back to tending my son, who wasn’t the picture of health right now, but was at least out of his 5-day coma... I hurriedly caught up with Peter and grabbed for his hand in a comforting gesture. By now, there were so many wires attached to him, he looked like a lit Christmas tree! He peered up at me with bleary eyes. He was so out of it, and he kept swallowing constantly. With one hand holding onto his, my right hand went straight up to his forehead and felt his temperature. He wasn’t running a temperature, but he was shaking pretty badly. I kept a hold of his hand and trying to comfort him as best I could.

“I’m right here Peter. I’m not going to leave you. You’ll be just fine. We’re going to take good care of you.”

Peter was disoriented, I could tell. His eyes magnified a certain confused reaction. One that I wasn’t sure of. It worried me to know that he seemed confused. He looked so lost. Did he recognize who I was?

“Who are you? Where is my wife? I have to get back to my wife, she’s pregnant and she could go into labor any day now...”

I was nearly reeling on my own two feet as the words of confusion and distress came out of his mouth. What was he talking about? I was right here. He must think I’m someone else... But who was he seeing? Tears began to roll down my checks once more, and I could almost hear my heart breaking in the process.

“Peter it’s me Nina. I’m right here cariño. I’m right here, and I’m not going to leave you...”

The look of confusion still danced across his face as I tried to bring him back to the real world. He seemed to recognize who I was now, but the way he looked at me was one of worry and almost pity... I tried to ease and alleviate his worries by holding his hand tighter.

“Honey, I had the baby three months ago. We had a little girl, and named her Jamie Rene. You delivered her yourself, remember back home in Seattle?”

Peter shook his head no, still very confused. I could see that he was looking at my stomach, and though it was taking time for my body to go back the way it was wasn’t helping any in the situation we were in right now... I watched as a nurse stuck a couple of Aspirin into Peter’s mouth.

“Just a couple of Aspirin Doctor Morgan. Chew those, it’ll loosen the pain you’re feeling in your chest right now.”

Peter did as the nurse told him to, and chewed on the two aspirin in his mouth. He made faces, knowing full well Aspirin wasn’t for chewing but swallowing. When he was done chewing them, he looked back up at me still very much confused.

“But honey, that’s not possible. If I had delivered our daughter I’d remember, and I don’t remember a thing.”

I looked away, face beet red as embarrassment danced across my facial features. He really didn’t understand right now did he? I guess I just answered my own question here. He’d understand with time, rest was all he needed right now. I removed a piece of stray hair away from Peter’s face. We should really think about getting his hair cut. I got up the courage and the strength to face my husband.

“Honey, the baby is with a nurse in the children’s playroom on another floor. When you get better, I’ll take you to our Jamie. I promise.”

Peter was even more confused by what I was talking about. Disoriented, and warn out, he was having a hard time registering the commotion around him. I shook my head and kissed his hand. In sickness and in health right? This was definitely one of those times right now. It wouldn’t be easy but we’d get through alright. We were strong as a couple, and as a family.

To Be Continued...


	12. An unsettling situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

January 12th, 2008 5:45 a.m.

Another weary day for Peter and I. Neither him, nor I got much sleep last night. I’m grateful that we have a place to live, it’s a small three bedroom apartment in the Pearl District but it’ll have to do for now. Will’s getting worse again, and he seems more confused than ever about what’s happening to him. I was dozing off to sleep once more when I heard Jamie begin to whimper in her crib next to the bed. Peter’s voice startled me, forcing me to open up my eyes.

“It’s my turn. I’ll bring her to you...”

My hand gently pushed Peter back down onto the bed. I didn’t want him straining himself. But it’s been awhile since he’s been out of the hospital. I’m lucky to still have him here with us. Ellie and Maia both have their own rooms, which are nice for the both of them, but Eddy and Jamie sleep with Peter and I in the same room.

“Should you really be handling Jamie yet?”

Peter took my remark as an offense to himself, shooting a dark and uninviting look towards me, making me feel slightly uncomfortable for a moment’s time. But then it disappeared, leaving an awkward kind of silence between the two of us. His face softened, regret filling his beautiful chocolate eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’ll get her. We’ve been through a lot these past couple of weeks, but at least now we have a home. Not the best one, but it’ll have to do for now. This is just temporary, you’ll see.”

My eyes followed his silhouette towards Jamie’s crib over by the bedroom door. Jamie made little noise as Peter scooped her up into his big, muscular arms. My head whipped around when I heard something buzzing on the table next to the bed. It was Peter’s pager. I quickly grabbed for it, and turned the light on, revealing the hospital’s number. Peter carefully placed Jamie into my arms, and then took his pager from my hand.

“Let me just call them real quick to see what’s going on. I’m not supposed to be on-call this week, but maybe they just want to double check something with me. I’ll be just a minute.”

I sighed and rocked Jamie a little, who seemed more interested at the moment with grabbing onto my nightgown than my finger with her mouth. Her whole schedule of when I nursed her was now in the toilet. I watched her little fingers, how they flexed and tried to wrap themselves around the fabric of my nightgown. She was at the age now, where she could smile at my voice. I smiled down at her, knowing that within a few months time she would be crawling, and then not too long after that, walking... My little girl was growing up... Suddenly, I began to feel very old. I’d be ancient by the time my last child grew up... And I was thinking of having another one if we lost Will completely? I guess if we lost Will, I wanted to fill that gaping hole that would occupy my heart for years to come. I heard Peter’s voice loud and clear over the phone.

“Really? Well, how long has she been in labor for? Mm hmm, for about four hours now? Are you keeping her hydrated with an i.v. drip? And are you giving her ice chips every 15 minutes to an hour? Okay, good good... Call me when her contractions are 10 minutes apart.”

Peter was so calm over the phone I really didn’t know how he did it. He was a miracle worker in every way. He was so gentle with children, not just his own, but the women who he helped deliver theirs. He had a knack for his job. If I were him, I couldn’t pull it off. But Peter worked very hard to get where he is right now. He was living his dream. I turned my attention back to Jamie, who was happily playing with her fingers. Without turning my attention away from Jamie, I directed my voice towards Peter.

“I know you’re needed at the hospital. I’ll be here when you get back. I’ll get the baby’s bathed and fed, and I’ll get the girls up. From there, we’ll figure out what we can make out of this morning’s breakfast. I want you to at least grab a muffin on the way out. You need your strength right now. Peter, please be careful while you’re out there.”

Peter kissed my forehead and squeezed my arm in a comforting gesture. He’d be back. The hospital had been busy as of late, and there were more and more casualties. There have been police raids of houses in the surrounding area of suspected drug dealers. That doesn’t make me feel very safe. But the war is after all still spilling over down here. Jamie was beginning to squirm in my arms, I should give her and Eddy a bath before Peter gets back. This was going to be a long morning. I could feel it...

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Nurse could you get Mrs. Arlington some more ice chips? She’s looking a little dehydrated. Make sure to check to see how much she’s dilated in the last half hour. Delivery of this baby is absolutely crucial. We’re running on a tight time table here people. Keep me updated...”

I felt like I was running a prison... I was giving out orders here and there, left and right, and sometimes I didn’t exactly let people get the last word in... It was usually me that had the last word... I took a deep breath and stepped out into the hallway, it seemed to be the only spot I could clear my thoughts and regain my bearings for a second or two. Though the hallways were nearly bustling to the brim with people, it didn’t bother me today like it had so many other days previously. I could always go into the break room and clear my thoughts for a while. But I wanted to make sure this baby came into the world safely. For Mrs. Arlington’s sake. I ran my hand through my hair for a second and tried to think of the things that were most important right now. The door to Mrs. Arlington’s room opened up suddenly and out came a rather flustered looking nurse. I pushed myself away from the wall and unfolded my arms looking at the nurse expectantly.

“Doctor Morgan, we need you in here STAT! Baby’s heartbeat is dropping rapidly!”

I took a deep breath and followed the nurse back into the room. Mrs. Arlington was in a world of panic worried about the most precious thing in the whole world to her at the moment, her little girl. I’d get that baby out, I would if it was the last thing I did on this Earth. I gave Mrs. Arlington a reassuring smile.

“Don’t you worry about a thing Mrs. Arlington. Your baby is in good hands. We’ll have her out in no time. Just relax and keep breathing.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maia and Ellie have been helping me take care of Eddy and Jamie. The girls are helping me give the baby’s a bath. Jamie likes it, but Eddy is not sure of what to think of the water. Maia was washing down Eddy with a sponge filled with soap. He was carrying on, and I wondered what was the matter with him. I could hear Maia cooing at him softly, trying to get him to calm down.

“It’s okay Eddy, the water won’t hurt you, and I’m going to get you all nice and clean.”

Maia’s attempts at trying to calm the now screaming Eddy fell on deaf ears. Once she got all the soap rinsed off him, she carefully dried him with a towel. He quieted as soon as he was dry. Maybe he doesn’t like being wet. I’ve noticed that before. Eddy was calm now, gurgling happily at Maia, who was careful in caring for him... Jamie was happily splashing the water, while Ellie complained of getting wet.

“Ew! Jamie! You’re getting me all wet!”

I giggled a little as Jamie continued having fun with the water. She got upset as I began to pour water on her body to wash the soap off. I still couldn’t believe in just a couple of months she’d start crawling... I remember the day Will started crawling, it seemed so magical, and I felt as if Lexi had been there as he learned to crawl. She was watching over her little brother. I always feel she’s watching us all the time. She’s an angel, but somehow, sometimes, Peter refuses to see it. He’s so stubborn; I wonder what kind of effect it’ll have on others. My mother-in-law has been sending us letters asking us to flee to Mexico and live with her. Will’s never met his grandmother, and we can’t move him right now, let alone travel out of the country. Border security is terrible these days. I switched my attention back to drying Jamie off with a towel. I then brought her into the room with Eddy, who Maia had already dressed.

He was relaxed and starting to get blinky. Maybe a little food might make him more relaxed. My mind wandered as I dawdled a bit while trying to put Jamie’s sock on her left foot. I hope Peter is doing alright out there. He seemed a little distracted this morning, but maybe he’s worried about something... What could that be besides our son? I hope he’ll check on Will on his way out. Will needs a fresh face at least once a day. Especially his daddy. Jamie was beginning to flail to get my attention. I turned back to her and smiled, putting her sock all the way on her foot. I could see she was trying to pull the sock off her foot, but it wasn’t working very well...

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay people, let’s get this baby out! I want the mother on 20 percent oxygen. It’ll be shaky for a few minutes, but let’s get this done everybody! Let’s go, from skin to baby in 15 seconds! Come on!”

A nurse wiped the sweat away from my forehead; I wasn’t going to hesitate with the scalpel in my hand. I carefully made the incision on Mrs. Arlington’s stomach where I had marked it with the black pen. I could see her little girl, her coloring wasn’t so great. We’d have to do an Apgar test on her. I took her out of her mother’s womb; all I had to do now was cut her umbilical cord and get her cleaned up. Still covered in blood from the amniotic sac, I knew that her airway, her nose and her ears would have to be suctioned out. One of the nurses grabbed a hold of the girl and wrapped a towel around her once I cut the umbilical cord. Now cleaning her up would be the easy part. The nurses were all smiling at this little miracle that I personally stewarded into this world with my own hands.

I cleared my throat and looked at the nurse tending to the baby. “What’s the Apgar?” The nameless nurse of yet I had to learn the name of glanced at me as a gigantic smile spread across her face. It should be good news all around if I’m correct. This baby’s coloring was better; and she was pinking up quite nicely.

“An eight Doctor Morgan. No respiratory distress and she weighs a good, healthy, 7lbs and 6oz. (Turns to Mrs. Arlington) What are you going to name her Mrs. Arlington?”

Once the child was stabilized and breathing on her own, I wrapped her in a pink blanket and took her over to her mother. Mrs. Arlington smiled up at me with tears in her eyes and then down at her daughter.

“Her names Cara. Cara Anne Arlington. Can I hold her Doctor Morgan?”

I gave her a warn-out smile and gently placed Cara Anne in her mother’s arms. My heart leapt with joy seeing those two together. If I could save this woman from dying in childbirth, and then another five or so, then I could do the two that I lost last week some justice. The miracle of life never ceased to amaze me. My gut clenched tight when I began to hear my son’s voice in my thoughts.

‘Daddy! Where are you? Please come see me daddy! It hurts!’ Suddenly it dawned on me; I didn’t want my ‘gift’ anymore. I didn’t want to know what people were thinking. Sure my wife and I could read each other’s thoughts, but now I could hear everyone’s. I’d better not tell anybody here, they’d think I was a freak and call in the troops to take me away... That’s how crazy things have gotten over the past six months. I made sure mother and child were getting along okay, and then hastily tore the two pairs of latex gloves covering my hands throwing them into the bio-hazard bin by the OR doors.

I burst through them like nobody’s business and went half-way skidding down the hallway and half-way running at the same time. I had to get to my son. When I got to my son’s room, he seemed very confused, but when he saw me, his face lit up in excitement and relief. Just as I sat down next to Will, grabbing his hand to comfort him, the door slammed open, revealing two men in suits who didn’t exactly resemble cops, but they had guns strapped to their hips in holsters. I turned to them angry that they were disturbing my son, but I wouldn’t tell them he was my son for fear they wanted something with me.

“Excuse me gentlemen, but you’ll have to excuse me, I’m with a patient right now. If you would like to speak with me, I’ll be happy to help you in a few minutes.”

The two men in dark brown suits didn’t seem too interested in what I was saying to them. One looked around the room, and then at me suspiciously. What had I done? Nothing as far as I was concerned. The man with round sunglasses and a dour look on his face turned to me in total seriousness.

“Are you Peter Moreno-Santos?” What’s going on? Nobody has called me that since I moved here from Mexico when I was three years old. Nobody... What’s going on?"

I nodded my head ever so slowly, what were these two men getting at anyways? I stuck my pen-light that I had previously had out to check my son’s pupil dilation back into the breast pocket of my lab coat and looked the man straight in the eye. I wasn’t going to lie to him.

“Yes I’m Peter Moreno-Santos, what’s this about?”

My heart leapt into my throat when the man in front of me whirled me around and roughly pulled both my arms back fastening my hands together with a pair of metal handcuffs. He made them tight so that I couldn’t get out of them. My son in front of me started shaking, tears rolling down his face. He started to reach out for me, but the man started to speak before I could say anything to Will.

“Peter Moreno-Santos you’re under arrest. You are here in the United States of America illegally. Come with us... Do you have any family?”

I nodded my head yes to all the man’s questions, but I didn’t know what he was talking about, I’m an American citizen, I knew my rights, and he was breaking my right, right now. Nina’s heart is going to break when I get the chance to call her.

“Yes I do have family. A wife and four children. One is my niece. Please sir, I think you’ve made a terrible mistake. I’ve made my whole life here. Please let me explain it to you. I’m a successful doctor, I help women deliver their children for heaven’s sake! Let me go!”

I could still see my son crying and trying to reach out to me.

“Daddy! Please don’t go! Please don’t let those mean men take you away!”

I tried to comfort my son as best I could, but it was very hard with my hands tied behind my back the way they were. The tears in my eyes stung and the men in brown suits started to steer me out of my son’s room. One snorted at me, but didn’t say anything. Before my son’s door to his room shut completely, I managed to get one last thought out.

“Don’t worry about daddy Will, I’ll be just fine. When you get better, and out of the hospital, take care of mommy for me. I’ll find my way back to you, someway, somehow. I promise.”

I could not bear to see the look on my son’s face as I left the room... I’d stay with him if I could, but these two immigration agents wouldn’t let me. What was I going to tell my wife? Her heart would break when she found out they’d sent me down to Tijuana... I really didn’t want to go there; it’s the trashiest city in the world... I was aware of the stares that many of my colleagues and some of the patients were giving me as the government agents steered me through the hallway.

I wasn’t going to cry, but I felt as if my whole world were coming down on top of me. What was I going to do? I wouldn’t have money to drive a car from Tijuana, Baja California to Acambaro, Guanajuato... It was well over 1,000 miles away... I had to find a way to get myself out of this and get back to my family...

“I don’t know what this is about gentlemen, but I assure you, I’m going to find out, even if it takes every fiber in my being to find out what exactly... I’m a legal citizen of this country... You know that, you have my records for heaven’s sake!”

The man with the dour look on his face and the dark brown rimmed sunglasses reached his hand up and whacked me upside the head with his hand... What was I five? My mother only did that to me when I didn’t listen... Nina did it to me when she thought I had made a really dumb mistake... I could get free of these men, but then I’d be running from Federal agents... I shivered at the thought... My wife used to be a Federal agent herself... Before NTAC ceased to exist anyways... The two men smirked at me, they knew very well what I was talking about, but they weren’t ready to let me go...

They wanted to see me fall on my ass for some reason or another.

“We’re not letting you go, and you know it. You’re going to a detention center downtown, until we can figure out whether to deport you or not... You get one phone call is that clear?”

I nodded my head seriously. But somehow, in my mind, I don’t think these men were really working for Immigration... My gut told me something was very wrong with this situation in front of me... Before I could nod my head in agreement with them, I felt a stinging sensation in my neck and then a sharp syringe going into it... My legs suddenly went out from under me, and then everything went dark...

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2:45 p.m.

It’s been nearly eight hours since Peter left to help that woman deliver her baby. He said he’d be back before dinner... It was already well after lunch... It’s almost 3 o’clock... I’m worried something’s happened to him... I’m going to call the hospital; maybe he got caught up in delivering another baby is all... I made sure that Maia was looking after Ellie, Eddy and Jamie while I got the phone. Picking it up, I dialed OHSU’s switchboard...

“Yes, can I speak to Doctor Morgan please? No, I’m not one of his patients, I’m his wife. Could you get him for me please? What do you mean two men in brown suits and dark sunglasses took him! The U.S. Immigration office?”

Flustered by the news, I hung up the phone, knowing very well that Maia and Ellie were listening. I rubbed a hand over my face, trying to figure out where to go with this situation... This was insane! Peter was a United States citizen! I’d just have to go down to the Immigration office and have a talk with the people in charge there... They were going to get an ear-chewing by me... I glanced over at Maia, her eyes were as round as saucers, and she had a question on her lips...

“Nina, what’s the Immigration office?”

I was very surprised that Maia didn’t know what one was, but someone her age probably wouldn’t know what one was unless they were around people who were here illegally... Which Peter isn’t. I looked her square in the eye.

“It’s a place where people who come to work here from other countries go when they get into trouble... They get sent back to their country because they aren’t American citizens... That’s where they took Peter. Help me get the babies and Ellie into the car. We’re going to get Peter back...”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I came to in dank and damp smelling room, and I could hear dripping pipes off in the distance. A woman’s voice startled me and I turned towards her voice, trying to figure out which direction it came from... Why couldn’t I see? My hands were now un-cuffed, and I reached up and pulled a blindfold from over my eyes... I could now see the woman who was speaking to me...

“So, they took you too huh? Glad I’m not the only one they took... Hell of a place they’ve got us in huh? There is only one bed in this room... They said we should share, but I don’t know you... They put the bed in here not too long ago... Before the bed was in here, I slept on the floor, and at my late stage of pregnancy, my back has been killing me... The concrete floor does some numbers to your back once you’ve been here for awhile... You can have the bed if you’d like...”

I shook my head no; she needed the bed more than I did... The woman in front of me, whom I didn’t know her name yet, looked about eight months pregnant, but I wasn’t sure unless I asked her...

“No, you need the bed more than I do... If I may ask, how far along are you?”

The woman in front of me did a double take, leery of me, she kept her distance... If I was a woman and in that state, I wouldn’t trust men either, but I’m a doctor I could help her if something went wrong...

“No offense doc, but I really don’t think that’s any of your business... That’s between me and my doctor... Unless you deliver children, then I’ll tell you...”

I nodded my head and kept eyeing her. I’d have to keep close tabs on her, who knows how long we’d be stuck in here, and if I had to deliver her baby or not. I shouldn’t pity her, but this place wasn’t great for delivering a baby...

“I understand your frustration Mrs... But if we’re stuck here for a long period of time, and I’m not saying we will, but just in case, I need to know how far along you are in case I have to deliver your baby. Doctor Peter Morgan, and you are...?”

The woman smiled at me and shook my hand warmly. Good, strong grip... But some women had strong hand shakes... I glanced around the room some more to try and figure out where we were exactly... Well, at least this place was heated... We were still in the dead of winter...

“Abigail Walker and it’s good to meet you Peter Morgan... If you must know doctor, and you absolutely must, I’m at the end of my eighth month in three weeks... I hope we get out of here before then... Did they drug you too, before you came here? What did they tell you? The men in the brown suits? Did they tell you that they were U.S. Immigration?”

I nodded my head, my face now ashen gray, but I knew I had to keep up appearances here. If she went into labor, I had to keep my head on my shoulders to help her out... They weren’t U.S. Immigration officials were they? My gut twisted in sick fear. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. Straight-faced now, I turned to Abigail.

“Those men weren’t U.S. Immigration officials were they?”

Abigail shook her head no at me. No of course they weren’t. Then who were they if they weren’t government agents? Could they be the brutal faction from the future? I’m going to use my wife’s words here: Kind of out of our jurisdiction... Shaking my head I once again turned back to Abigail who was holding her head in her hands and moaning slightly... I helped her sit down on the bed; I’m hoping this isn’t anything serious.

“No they’re not. My head is bothering me; do you think you could get them to give me some water? I’m sure this isn’t good for the baby at all...”

I nodded my head and looked up a pair of stairs... They made her walk down those flight of stairs? She’s not supposed to be going up and down flights of stairs she could fall and hurt herself. I slowly made my way up the stairs and started banging on it. It slammed open, and I had to hold onto the railing at the top to keep myself from falling backwards.

“What do you want?”

This guy was twice my size, six feet of pure muscle, but maybe not so much brains... He glared down at me with the intensity of a tiger waiting to make its kill. I only swallowed and looked him in the eye. I wasn’t going to let him scare me...

“Would it be possible for you to get us some water? The woman on the bed down stairs needs the water badly, she’s eight months pregnant and she can’t go without water, it’s just not good for the baby...”

The over-sized man of pure muscle closed the door in front of me. I hope he’s not ignoring my request... I sat on those stairs for what seemed like five minutes before he came back with a two gallon water jug used in office buildings. He closed the door and carried it down the stairs, with me trailing close behind him, but not so close as to make him angry... I checked the breast pocket of my lab coat and found that my stethoscope was safely tucked in there the way I had left it, along with my pen light and a clean tongue depressor. These guys didn’t take anything from me... What was their real purpose for taking us?

As I wondered that, the muscular man in front of me smirked and put the jug down, and then he handed us two plastic cups.

“Here’s your water doc... When you run out there’s more. Your food will be down in a little while... Forget about getting out of here quickly, you’ll be here for awhile... Until you give me the money that’s rightfully mine... So, you’ll have to help that woman deliver her child...”

I had no idea what this man was talking about, I didn’t know him, and I didn’t think I owed him any money... I set my cup on a run-down cabinet next to the bed and filled Abby’s with cool water. I handed it to her and she drank the water as if she hadn’t had any in days.

“Take it easy Abby. Drink slower, that’s it... How long has it been since you’ve last had any water?”

Abby looked at me with a lost expression written all over her face. She shook her head, she wasn’t sure about it. I helped her lie down on the bed, she needed some rest. It had to be well after dark now, only because I couldn’t see any light coming in through the barred window just above my head. I took the cup from Abby’s hand and set it down on the cabinet.

“Abby, I know you’re tired but I need to ask you a few other questions. When was your last check-up?”

Her eyes fluttered open and looked at me wide-eyed. She rubbed her left hand over her tired face and then glanced back up at me seriously. Protectively, she placed both hands on top of her swelling abdomen.

“It was last week. My doctor said I was right on schedule with everything. The only thing I had to take more of was calcium. She gave me some calcium pills to help correct the imbalance I’m having... Anything else you’d like to ask me?”

I was surprised at how easily she gave me this information. But I was a doctor and I could help her out. I shook my head no, and made sure she was comfortable before I myself lay down on the floor next to the bed. When her breathing became a relaxed and even tone, I lie down on the hard concrete floor trying to get as comfortable as possible with just my lumpy pillow and thin blanket our captors had given me...

I awoke sometime later to someone moaning, thinking it was only a dream; I turned onto my side to get comfortable again. It took me a moment to register what was even going on. My eyes shot open and I sprang up from my spot on the floor. Since the room was pitch black and I couldn’t see a thing around me, I had to feel for the bed next to me. Now I just needed to find the light switch to this room so I could tend to Abby. I slowly pulled myself to my feet and felt for a hard surface. Finally I found the wall, using my fingers for my eyes, I felt the wall until I felt something that resembled a switch.

I flicked it on not realizing that I’d be blind for a few minutes as my eyes adjusted to the blinding light above my head. Where was my blanket at? I knew I had one a few hours ago... My pillow was gone too. Abby had been sleeping on nothing but a bear mattress. Abby’s eyes were wild and full of fear, I have a feeling she hasn’t done this before.

“Please Doctor Morgan you have to help me... I’m so scared... I don’t know if I can do this or not! Please...”

It was perfectly understandable for her to be afraid. Most women were afraid when they gave birth. But I had no doubts that she wouldn’t get through this in one piece. For the time being, until her contractions got closer together, she needed to relax.

“Abby, I need you to listen to me. Try and relax, bear down on the contraction and take deep cleansing breaths. It’ll help with the pain. Squeeze my hand if you’d like.”

I saw her relax slightly, and I let go of her hand carefully pulling my stethoscope out of my pocket of my lab coat. She swallowed as I put the ear pieces in my ears and the instrument up to her stomach to listen for the baby’s heartbeat.

“What are you looking for doctor?”

I put my index finger up to my lips so that I could listen. From what I could tell, this baby’s heartbeat was strong and regular. Now I just had to keep the mother calm and relaxed throughout the whole birthing process... I took the ear pieces out of my ears and placed my stethoscope back into my pocket of my lab coat.

“Your baby has a good, strong and regular heartbeat. Now I want you to relax, I need to see if the baby is breech or not. This won’t take long...”

Abby’s face was a myriad of different expressions suddenly, which told me that another contraction was about to present itself quickly... I felt guilty suddenly for not giving up my blanket to her... But there wasn’t anything in here to cover her up with at all... If I was going to check for dilation, I needed to find a sink to wash my hands... I found one just off to the side beyond the stairs. I gave Abby a reassuring hand squeeze.

“I will be right back. I need to wash my hands so I can see how far you’ve dilated. Just relax and try to bear down on this next contraction. Don’t worry; I’ll walk you through step by step. Just keep talking to me, I can hear you... Try to relax and stay calm...”

I could see Abby’s reactions before I turned to the sink and grab for the knobs to turn the water on... Where was the soap? Oh here it is next to the faucet. I poured a bunch onto my hands and started to scrub vigorously... I needed to make sure every part of my hands, including my nails were clean before I put on my pair of latex gloves...

I turned back towards Abby as I kept scrubbing my hands. She seemed to be holding her own trying to keep herself calm and breathing deeply. Once I was sure I had gotten every single part of my hands clean I rinsed them thoroughly with warm water... I’d have to find something to dry my hands off with... I couldn’t seem to find a towel anywhere... I guess I’ll just have to shake them dry...

I shook my hands as dry as I could and then reached back into my pocket of my lab coat for a pair of latex gloves. It was becoming increasingly difficult to put the gloves on my hands.

“Abby, I need you to relax. What I want you to do is put your feet up on the bed and pull your legs towards you. There you go, that’s it. Now, just relax. This won’t take me but a minute. I just need to make sure everything is going according to plan here... Take a deep breath in for me please...”

The fear in Abby’s eyes was very real, and up until that moment, I hadn’t felt the slightest bit worried... But now that I think about it, this baby is three weeks early... This baby couldn’t survive down here... We needed to get her to the hospital...

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 13th, 2007 4:45 a.m.

We’ve been at the U.S. Customs and Immigration Office here downtown all night... All these people that work here have been giving me the run-around of where Peter was... They wouldn’t let me see or talk to him... Where was he, and was he safe? Eddy and Jamie were asleep in the stroller... Ellie was sleeping across some chairs a few over from Maia and me... We were the only two awake still... Maia had huge circles under her eyes, telling me that she desperately needed sleep... I would get some as soon as I got my husband back...

A woman in a black Blazer, skirt, and high heels came over towards me, her face stony and emotionally cold... But then again it was her job, it was nothing personal on her part at all... I just can’t believe I used to be the same way... My children have really softened me up the past few years...

“Mrs. Moreno-Santos, you said you were looking for your husband? A Mr. Peter Moreno-Santos is it? I’m sorry, but we can’t seem to find his record, could you describe him to me, I see so many immigrants come through here daily it’s hard to keep track of them all...”

Why didn’t I believe this woman in front of me? She had been leading me around on an invisible leash all night with this load of bull... Maia looked back at me tiredly and shook her head... Then she did something very bold for a 13 year-old...

“Excuse me ma’am, but that man you’re talking about, is my uncle... He didn’t do anything wrong, and he’s helped out hundreds of people... He’s a successful doctor and helps women have their babies... Now why would my Uncle Peter do something bad?”

I don’t think Maia got the magnitude of the whole situation, but she knew that something was wrong... I had described my husband to them hundreds of times tonight, and they had shown me hundreds of different pictures of men who they thought might look like Peter... But I knew my Peter all too well... The woman in the black suit looked me up for a moment, as if sizing me up for some debate she was about to have with me...

“Are you here illegally too Mrs. Moreno-Santos? I don’t recognize your accent...”

What was she insane! I was an American through and through... I’ve lived here my entire life... Sure, my mother was a French Immigrant, and my father was an Italian Immigrant, but my mother gave birth to me here in the states... Oh, she was one to talk...

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8:35 a.m.

“You’re doing great Abby! You’re doing just fine... We’re going to get ready to push on my signal okay? So when I say push, you push okay? I’m here to guide you every step of the way. I won’t leave you in the dark I promise...”

Abby nodded her head vigorously at me, teeth clenched she was getting very tired, but I knew she would pull through this alright. I had the strength and confidence in her... I watched as she swallowed, took a deep breath and let it out slowly...

“On my count, I want you to start pushing... 1, 2, and 3! Good girl Abby, push now! Push, push, push! Good girl... One more push and I’m going to have you stop for a few minutes to regain your strength back again... Okay, and relax...”

Abby wiped the sweat from her eyes and looked me in the eye seriously, I knew the look she was giving me, she wanted another ice chip... She was breathing heavily, but I knew she would regain her normal breath back in no time at all...

“I don’t know how you can tell me to keep pushing, when you have never had to experience the agonizing pain of trying to push something out the size of a grapefruit through an opening no bigger than your pinky finger! I wanna another ice chip!”

I knew Abby would want another ice chip, and I knew she would be moody with me... My wife was the same way when she was giving birth to Will... Some women get like that though when they go through labor... It’s not meant to offend though, it’s the pain their going through at the moment...

“Okay, here’s the ice chip... I want you to relax and keep breathing, we’ll be done before you know it... I know it hurts, but try not to think of the pain. Try to visualize being on the beach with the waves gently lapping at your feet, it’s a sunny day and there’s a gentle breeze blowing...”

I watched as Abby closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath in, she seemed to relax somewhat... Her eyes shot open as suddenly as they were closed when another contraction began to present itself. She shot me an angry look... “That’s not helping! Please get my daughter out of me!”

Her tone of voice was making me a tad bit nervous, but I could get her baby out, and as safely as possible, I knew I could... It would take some time to do it though, and she would just have to have a little patience... You can’t rush childbirth...

“Relax Abby, it’ll be alright I promise... I’m here to help in every way I can. Okay, are you ready? On my count we’re going to start pushing again... 1, 2, and 3! Keep pushing, your doing great! Good girl! I’m beginning to see the head, one more great big push like that and the baby’s head should be out... Keep going, keep pushing! That’s it! Okay, the baby’s head is out! A few more strong pushes and this baby should be out... Your doing just fine Abby, keep your focus on me... That’s it, push now! Push, push, push! Congratulations! You have a wonderful baby girl!”

Just as I had cut the umbilical cord, and was cleaning off this beautiful little girl, muscle man came back, grabbing onto my arms, and I quickly set the little girl into Abby’s arms. Now where were they taking me? I hoped they didn’t expect me to go out in public drenched in blood and the fluid from an amniotic sac did they? Have some common decency here...

“Your coming with us Mr. Moreno-Santos... It’s time to go... Don’t worry; someone will be down to get your lady friend here in a few minutes... There’s a phone upstairs and you’ll get to talk to your wife as promised the one phone call you’ll get... After that, we’re taking you to Union Station, and your boarding a bus to San Diego, and then another will be waiting to drop you off at the border...”

So, these men were U.S. Immigration, but crooked ones if they wanted money... Well, if they wanted it, they weren’t getting it even if I had to kiss their feet to do it... They wouldn’t weasel Nina and I out of the life savings we had left... Two hundred between the two of us... I could see the look on her face, tears streaming down them and pained words written on her lips, but she’s in too much pain to even speak them... I glanced back down at Abby and the nameless baby girl I had just brought into the world before the door at the top of the stairs separated us completely...

Abby’s eyes were full of tears, and she was trying her best to hold them back, and at the same time trying to hush the baby’s hungry cries... I could do nothing for her now... When the door closed and we were out of the basement, I noticed we were in a rather large warehouse... It looked like it had been abandoned for years... Muscle man nudged me forward.

“Here’s the phone, you have ten minutes to contact your wife, and then we’re outta here. The next bus leaving for San Diego is at 9:40 a.m. Say whatever you want, but, if I catch you even hinting at making plans to cross the border and come back up here, I’ll take the phone from you...”

Like the man could threaten me? The only thing he had to threaten me with was his gigantic muscular body that my body was no match for... I swallowed ripping off the two pairs of gloves I used to help deliver Abby’s baby... I threw them somewhere off to the side... At least if the cops came looking for evidence of where I had gone, they’d at least have something with my DNA on it... I picked up the phone about to dial, but stopped when I realized Nina would be looking for me at the U.S. Immigration office downtown and I didn’t know the number... Muscle man shoved a piece of paper in my face with the number...

555-0987... Taking a deep breath, and after I had dialed, I listen as someone on the other end picked up.

“U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Portland Division how may I help you?”

I had to hold back the choked sobs that were about to erupt from my throat any moment... I wanted to speak to my wife, and they had better at least give me that right... When I came back and they realized that I was a U.S. citizen... Well, I hoped they would at least figure that out...

“Yes my name is Peter Moreno-Santos; I’d like to speak to my wife. A Mrs. Menina Moreno-Santos please...”

I heard static over the phone for what seemed like ten years... There was a lot of chatter on the other end, but finally, the phone was given to the right person... My throat became tight when I heard her voice...

“Peter? Cariño, where are you? Are they going to let you go free? Please tell me they’re letting you go free!”

The lump in my throat that had begun to form was becoming more so now than it had before the words had come out of her mouth... I wish there were better news for her... Tears now sprung from my eyes, and I didn’t care who saw me... I was being taken away from my family unjustly by crooked cops...

“No Cariño, they’re not letting me go... They let me call you so that I could say good-bye... They’re putting me on a bus to San Diego at 9:40 a.m. I’ll get back to you somehow; I’ll make sure of it... Someone has to fight against this, it’s not right... They know I’m a U.S. citizen... I’ll see you soon cariño... When I get to Tijuana, I’ll call you to check up on Will...”

Muscle man snatched the phone from my hands and slammed it down, hanging it up in the process... My heart ached with grief and sadness that it would be a long time before I saw my family again... These people had no feelings whatsoever...

“Your times up doc... Let’s go!”

Before I knew it, we were at Union Station, and I was being ushered onto a big Greyhound bus with a one way ticket to San Diego... I tried not to call any attention to myself as I sat down in the middle of the bus... I was surprised when Abby sat down next to me, in fresh clothes... Those men were civilized enough to let her change out of her blood-soaked nightgown from giving birth...? That’s rich... She was having trouble walking, and it pained her... She shouldn’t be doing anything like that right now...

The nameless little girl in her arms was asleep... I took a glance outside as we were pulling out of Union Station, and pretty soon, the scenery was changing, this would be the last time I would see land on U.S. soil for a long while... I was going back to the land that I had fled as I child, but not under good pretenses either...

 

To Be Continued...


	13. Desert crossing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

January 14th, 2008, 7:45 a.m.

Tijuana, Baja California Norte, Mexico

The dust on the ground covers my nice dress shoes as I step off the greyhound bus. Vendors are starting to set up their wares for the day and the sun is just starting to rise over the Sierra Madre Mountains just to the east of us... Well, maybe while I’m here, I can make good use of being a doctor... It’s only temporary until I can find my way back to my family... I helped Abby off the bus and onto the dusty road below. She turned to me re-wrapping a thin blanket around her daughter...

“Thank-you for trying to help me through all this, but I think I can find my family... They live in Sonora... I’m sure I can arrange something, maybe have my mother and father come and get me... Or maybe my uncle...”

I’d stay with Abby until her family came for her; this was, after all, the most dangerous city in the world. I’d have to sneak back up with some others in the middle of the night... If caught though, the others would be sent back. But what would happen to me? I was a legal American citizen... I needed to find a payphone to call Nina... She’d be relieved that I was alright... Abby and I made our way past a small bakery...

“¡Consiga sus rollos dulces calientes! ¡Consiga sus rollos dulces calientes mientras allí caliente!”

(Get your hot rolls! Get your hot rolls while there hot!)

Life here was so much different from the states. As Abby and I kept walking, I spotted a mother and her two young children sleeping on the sidewalk... Dirt caked their faces and tear tracks trailed the youngest child’s face, who couldn’t have been more than four at most... This was the most dangerous city in the world, and the dirtiest... Mexico City is three times the size of Tijuana, but the homeless rate is much higher... Children dig for food in garbage cans, eat food thrown into the gutter...

I shook my head, though my mother told me that when we lived in Mexico City, our lives were okay, but we still had to work harder to keep ourselves off the streets... The divide between rich and poor is great, and the middle class is almost non-existent... I felt I had to help this woman and her two young children out, but then everybody would know I was American... I’d have to fit in as best I could... People started to steer clear of me as they looked at my blood stained lab coat... I should’ve tossed it long ago...

I could get all of it out with a good scrubbing in cold water... Since there are no dryers down here, you have to hand dry everything on clotheslines... Abby looked at me with tears in her eyes.

“Doctor, I need to sit down and rest. My feet hurt, more so than they would normally.”

I helped Abby sit down on a nearby bench and took her daughter from her so that she could get settled. We had to keep this baby shielded from the dust that was flitting around so freely. I had to remember it was still the dry season down here until at least April... I kept the baby girl wrapped in the thin blanket and shielded her from the flying dust. The wind died down and I saw Abby take one of her shoes off. She began to cry harder when she saw blood covering her foot. How had she gotten that?

“Abby, why are your feet covered in blood? When those U.S. Immigration officers were holding us, you didn’t have any shoes. The ones you’ve got on don’t look very comfortable. We should look in a shoe store to see if we can find some that are more comfortable than those plastic ones. Let me see your other foot.”

Abby took off the shoe on her right foot, and that too, was covered in blood. I also noticed one of her toenails was missing. That could be the cause for the bleeding on this foot too. Those men should’ve known better than to give Abby plastic shoes. I needed to find her a place to stay while she regained her strength again. It’s not good for her to be walking around yet. We should get some food into our systems to gain some strength. Some breakfast would be nice. The man selling hot rolls came over to us, a big warm smile on his face.

“Tiene dos dulces calientes para tu, y su esposa. En mí.”

(Have two hot sweet rolls for you, and for your spouse. On me.)

I didn’t know what to say. The man only gave us a big toothless smile and placed the two sweet rolls into Abby’s hands. Tears were streaming down her face. You could still find kind people down here, you just had to look.

“¿Cuánto es?” “How much is it?”

The old toothless man shook his head, he meant his word, and it was on him. But I felt bad that I didn’t owe him money. He needed it. But he kept shaking his head no at me. He kept on smiling and offered his answer.

“Ninguna necesidad de pagarme. Usted y su mujer necesitó una comida buena y caliente tan yo se lo he dado a usted. Su afortunado haber encontrado a una persona agradable que dará usted algo para libre. Estas calles no son amables a nadie que no ha regresado en un rato.”

(No need to pay me. You and your wife needed a good, hot meal so I've given it to you. You’re lucky to have found a nice person that will give you something for free. These streets aren't kind to anyone who hasn't been back in awhile.) 

I smiled at the toothless man, maybe he could tell me where the local hospital or clinic was here so that I may be able to find a job until I could get the funds to go home again. The thought was very tempting. 

“¿Discúlpeme, dónde está el hospital? Soy médico. Ayudo a entregar a bebés y yo me preguntaba donde el más cercano hospital es. ¿Por casualidad me podría señalar usted en la dirección correcta?” 

(Excuse me, where is the hospital? I'm a doctor. I help deliver babies and I was wondering where the nearest hospital is. Could you by any chance point me in the right direction?) 

The old man with the toothless smile pointed in the direction of a tall narrow building in the distance. From what I could tell, it had to be more than a mile. I had some money in my wallet, but did they take American money since we were so close to the U.S.? I wasn’t sure. I knew that in Mexico City they used only Mexican pesos. Ten bucks in my pocket is worth a lot down here. I’d better make sure it’s in a safe place. Before I could give Abby her little girl back, the toothless man smiled at her. Even though he seemed nice, I had to keep my guard up. Children could get kidnapped down here without even a doubt about it. 

“Ay que bonita su hija doctor. Como se llama? Yo no sé su acento. ¿Dónde está usted?” 

(How beautiful your daughter is doctor. What’s her name? I don’t know your accent. Where are you from?) 

Sometimes I didn’t like when people asked me where I was from. But I knew my roots, and I was born in Mexico City. I felt proud suddenly, and the man only smiled more. 

“Yo no sé. Mi acento? Soy de la ciudad de México.” 

(I don’t know. My accent? I’m from Mexico City.) 

The rickety old man had a twinkle in his eyes suddenly, as if he had the greatest idea in the whole entire world. I still kept my guard up; I’m glad now that I didn’t tell him that Abby and I weren’t married. That would mean more trouble for her if he knew she was alone. 

“Ahh, perfecto! Se llama Victoria.” 

(Ahh, perfect! Her name is Victoria!) 

I shook my head no in disgust. Victoria was too Victorian England to me. I had another name in mind, but I’d have Abby decide on it first and then see what she thinks of the name. I smiled at her and then down at the little girl in my arms. 

“Discúlpeme señor, pero no me gusta el nombre Victoria para mi hija. Es Inglaterra demasiado victoriano. Se llama Esperanza. Te gusta Gabi?” 

(Excuse me sir, but I do not like the name Victoria for my daughter. It’s too Victorian England. Her name is Esperanza. Do you like it Gabi?) 

I saw the smile in Abby’s eyes first and then it spread to her lips and she laughed. She liked it. Then it was settled. Esperanza it was going to be then. I watched as Abby carefully, but quickly slipped her feet back into her painful plastic shoes. I shook my head; maybe we could get her cleaned up in the hospital. But first, we had to eat our breakfast. I’m sure little Esperanza in my arms is going to need to nurse soon. We hadn’t eaten since yesterday, so having these hot rolls was a gift really. I watched as Abby ate, it was as if she hadn’t eaten in a week. She should eat slower though. Trying to coordinate myself, with one hand I took bites of my hot roll, and the other arm occupying Esperanza. It felt so good to have food in my stomach again. 

A boom and then shaking occurred suddenly, throwing both me and Abby to the ground. I kept Esperanza covered. What was that? What had just happened? I turned to Abby once I was sure that Esperanza was okay. She was sobbing and carrying on. “Is Esperanza okay?” She was crying, but she seemed okay for the most part, other than being scared that is. I nodded my head somberly. The shaking didn’t last long, maybe about 30 seconds or so. The source of the blast that rocked the neighborhood and shattered windows everywhere was still unclear. Esperanza was still safely tucked away in my arms. I noticed Abby was having trouble getting to her feet again. 

But I had to remember that she’s just barely given birth. 

“She’s just fine Abby. I promise. She’s just a little scared is all. She’s not hurt or anything. Let’s keep moving.” 

Abby managed to get to her feet, however painful I knew it was. Her knees were covered in blood, but her wounds looked superficial. The piedras (rocks) beneath our feet had been sharp. Shards of glass lined the once dusty ground. There were people running in every direction trying to figure out where their families were. This is exactly how it started in Seattle. Was a bomb went off, and then the fighting got worse. There were now several children in the street crying and looking as lost as ever. I could see them scanning the frantic crowd for anyone they knew. I felt bad, but I knew that someone would find them in the end. It was just a matter of time. I managed to get to my feet and start walking down the street with Abby trailing behind me. We had to find a taxi to get to the hospital because it was too far to walk to. I stood on the curb of the sidewalk and hailed a cab. 

“Taxi!” 

A taxi pulled up right at the curb of the sidewalk. I opened up the door and quickly helped Abby inside the backseat of the taxi. Once she was seated in the backseat of the taxi, I got in next to Abby. He asked me where we wanted to go. 

“Adonde vas señor?” 

(Where to sir?) 

The look in the driver’s eyes told me that he must have been through a lot. Everyone has, me and Abby were taken away from our families. I was going to cross the border tonight whether I was going to get into trouble or not. I was sure as hell not going to be sent back. The driver kept looking back at me expectantly. 

“Soy médico. Donde está el hospital?” 

(I’m a doctor. Where’s the nearest hospital?) 

The man in the driver’s seat held onto the steering wheel as he turned back towards me to answer my question. 

“Hay un hospital unas pocas millas arriba el camino aquí. Tomaré usted allí doctor.” 

(There is a hospital a few miles up the road here. I'll take you there doctor.) 

I nodded my head and sat back in my seat now that I knew where the hospital was. I peered over at Abby, who was tending to Esperanza. She was becoming very fussy, but there was no way I was going to let her nurse Esperanza in here. There wasn’t anything for her to cover up with. Looking around me, I could see smoke filling the skies all around us. People were still running in all directions trying to find loved ones. I wondered what Nina was thinking right at this moment. I also wondered if I could communicate with Nina through long distances. I remembered that we could read each other’s thoughts since we survived the spread of Promicin. 

That was our power. But I’d never let anyone know that I had that ability. I heard someone crying suddenly. I glanced over at Abby and then down at Esperanza, neither of them were crying so then who? I began to hear someone’s voice that sounded familiar. 

‘Peter, please come back to me! I’m begging you! Please come home! Don’t let them hurt you! Don’t let them take you back like some animal! Fight them Peter! Fight them!’ 

How could I hear my wife’s voice more than 1,000 miles away? She was in Portland and I was in Tijuana. I guess this confirms my theory about hearing each other over long distances. I swallowed hard; she really could speak to me over long distances. I fought back a choked sob. 

‘It’s alright cariño, I’m coming to you! I’m making my escape tonight. I’ll cross the border, and I’ll be back in your arms soon enough. Don’t lose hope now!’ 

I smiled and tried to hide the tears forming at the corners of my eyes. I knew somehow she’d hear me. I could see Abby was giving me the strangest look, but I brushed it aside, hoping she wouldn’t notice I was very embarrassed. So instead, I was very silent the whole way to the hospital. Before we knew it, we had pulled up to a brick building that was the hospital. There was an influx of patients from all over the place. I turned to the cab driver as soon as we stopped. 

“Aquí somos doctor. Eso será $2.65. Gracias por cabalgar conmigo, y la buena suerte con su viaje. La buena suerte a usted y a su familia.” 

(‘We’re here doctor. That’ll be $2.65. Thank you for riding with me, and good luck with your journey. Good luck to you and your family.’) 

I nodded my head and slowly got out of the car, going around to the other side, I helped Abby out. She seemed a little disoriented. As if she were confused about where she was. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and steered her through what looked like emergency room doors. It was chaos everywhere when we got inside. The injured were coming in waves, and it seemed as if the staff at this hospital were at their wits end and had their hands way too full. What’s one more doctor to help out? 

“¿Necesita usted a un médico extra para ayudar? ¿Cualquiera?” 

(Do you need an extra doctor to help out? Anybody?) 

An overwhelmed doctor came over towards me and started to usher me in the direction of an office. Was he giving me an interview? I hadn’t a clue. I could help most everybody here, except if they asked me to do a surgery. Then I’d have to ask someone else to do it. I hadn’t specialized in surgery at all. I minored in it. My specialty was delivering children. I was an OB and that was what I did for a living. I wondered how many pregnant women could fit into this ‘city hospital’? 

I shrugged my shoulders and kept following the exhausted doctor in front of me. 

“¿Qué hace usted? ¿Qué es su especialidad?" 

(‘What do you do? What’s your specialty?’) 

I sat up straight in my chair and cleared my throat. He sounded like he was in desperate need of doctors here. I’d have to take him up on his offer for now. They could always pay me later and I’d have just enough to cross the border and go home. 

“Ayudo a entregar a niños. Soy un obstetra. Pero puedo hacer algo que usted me da. Yo no hago las cirugías aunque. Sólo en emergencias si una madre necesita una C-sección hace recurro a eso.” 

(I help deliver children. I’m an obstetrician. But I can do anything you give me. I don't do surgeries though. Only in emergencies if a mother needs a c-section do I resort to that.) 

The tired doctor in front of me nodded his head satisfied with what I told him. So, now what? I suppose he wants me to start seeing patients right away. I can most certainly do that. He showed me towards the office door once more and escorted me out it. When we got to the admitting desk, or rather one that looked like one, he handed me someone’s chart. 

“Aquí está un gráfico para usted. El nombre de esta mujer es Mariana Gutierrez-Sanchez. Ella fue admitida esta mañana en las etapas tempranas de trabajo. Ella es pequeña para su edad. Yo no estoy seguro si ella podrá entregar su niño naturalmente. 

(Here’s a chart for you. Her name is Mariana Guitierrez-Sanchez. She was admitted this morning in the early stages of labor. She’s small for her age. I’m not sure if she’ll be able to deliver her child naturally.) 

I nodded my head in confidence. I would make sure that Mariana could deliver her child naturally. I wasn’t one to give up that easily. I looked at each door to try and find her name. Finally, I found the door with her name on it. Gutierrez-Sanchez, M. I quietly opened up the door and popped my head in. Mariana smiled at me from her bed. That nameless doctor was right, Mariana was tiny. But because of her size, Mariana’s swelling abdomen looked very much like an over-sized bowling ball. I smiled at Mariana and walked towards her sticking out my hand for her to grab and grasp firmly. 

“Hola Mariana. Soy Doctor Moreno-Santos. ¿Cómo se siente usted? ¿Cuán lejos son aparte sus contracciones? ¿Necesita usted algo para el dolor?” 

(Hi Mariana. I’m doctor Moreno-Santos. How are you feeling? How far apart are your contractions? Do you need anything for the pain?) 

Mariana shook her head no at me. She seemed very nervous about what she was going through, but I could get her through this alright. I knew I could. She just had to trust me is all. I gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand comfortingly. This was going to be a long day. I went about checking her iv to make sure it was in straight. She seemed to be hydrated, with the iv in her arm. She seemed very calm. Another contraction seemed to be presenting itself and Mariana was having some trouble catching her breath. I’d talk her through it though. 

“Ay me duele! Yo me duele!” 

(That hurts! I’m hurting!) 

I saw her husband grab for her hand and hold it tightly. She was grinding her teeth tightly in her mouth, and she was still struggling with all this. But I could see she was very strong. I had to keep her calm. It was the best way to get through this. 

“Mariana. Te calmas. Te calmas.” 

(Mariana. You stay calm. You stay calm.) 

I wasn’t exactly sure where all this was going, but I knew that I had every confidence in Mariana that she could really do this. Bringing this child safely into the world was one of my top priorities. She seemed to be doing much better now. I saw her breathing become relaxed and more even. This wasn’t going to be so difficult. I had confidence in Mariana, and I’m pretty sure she had confidence that I would help her through this too. She didn’t have to go through it alone. 

“Asi es. Relájese. Casi hecho. Bueno, usted pasó esta contracción bastante bien. Veamos cómo usted hace con los demás.” 

(Yes that’s it. Relax. Almost done. Okay, you got through this contraction fairly well. Let's see how you do with the rest.) 

Mariana nodded her head at me and smiled weakly. I saw her husband let go of her hand and steer me towards the door momentarily. He had a question weighing on his mind, I could tell. 

“Doctor, pregunta, piensa usted que nuestro bebé puede quedar por una mujer tan pequeña?” 

(Doctor, question, do you think our baby can fit through such a small woman?) 

I nodded my head, I was sure she would get through this in one piece. She was a very brave woman. It was clearly written all over her face. I put my hand up to the man’s shoulder and asked his name. 

“Como te llama’s? Su marida hace gran. Tengo que verificar a su mujer para ver cuán lejos ella ha dilatado. No se preocúpe por una cosa. Nosotros le daremos un epidural si ella lo necesita.” 

(What’s your name? Your wife is doing great. I'm going to have to check your wife to see how far she's dilated. Don't worry about a thing. We'll give her an epidural when she needs it.) 

Two nurses showed up in the room suddenly, I had to remember, down here, there had to be two women nurses when a male doctor was attending to a pregnant woman. At home, it was only one. 

“Se llama Armando Gutierrez-Sanchez.” 

I nodded my head, now I knew his name. I watched as he went back over to his wife and grabbed for her hand. She smiled weakly up at him and then turned her attention to me. The two nurses were at my side instantly as I snapped on a pair of sterilized latex gloves. I was going to have to feel my way around. At the corner of my eye, I could see both nurses watching every move I made. Hmm, her cervix is dilated, but not quite six centimeters yet. I’d have to say five and a half. 

“Su marida es dilatada casi a seis centímetros. Ella está en cinco y una mitad en este momento.” 

(Your wife is dilated almost to six centimeters. She's at five and a half right now.) 

Armando nodded his head as I pulled the sheet back over Mariana’s bare legs. I could see that Armando was still worried, well, any husband would be worried for their wife when their going through this. The worry I saw in his eyes though, was far deeper than just fear for his child, but something else. He momentarily let go of Mariana’s hand once more and pulled me off to the side so he could speak to me. 

“Doctor, mi marida, ella es un cuarenta-cuatro-cien. Ella tiene que ser protegida. Usted y las dos enfermeras en aquí están el único que debe saber. Las personas han estado tirando piedras en nuestra casa desde que fue averiguado pero el público hace unos pocos años... Gran parte del tiempo nosotros nos sentimos como fugitivos.” 

(My wife is a 4400. She has to be protected. You and the two nurses in here are the only ones that must know. People have been throwing rocks at our house since it was found out but the public a few years ago... Most of the time we feel like fugitives.) 

I would let no harm come to either of them. I knew how it was, my niece Adriana was a 4400. I took measures to protect her when she’s with us. But it’s been quite awhile now. I snapped back to attention once more as the machine’s Mariana was hooked up to began to whir and whine constantly. One of the nurses whirled around and looked at me wide eyed. 

“¡Doctor, el ritmo del corazón del bebé deja caer! ¡Es hacia abajo a noventa!” 

(‘Doctor, the baby’s heart rate is dropping! It’s down to eighty!’) 

My heart about jumped into my throat when those words came out of her mouth. I swallowed and tried my best to comfort both worried parents in front of me. What next? A pro-lapsed umbilical cord? Mariana began to groan suddenly, which signaled me that she needed help. I’d have to check her cervix again. I carefully pulled back the sheet over her legs and had a look. I sighed frustrated. My hunch was correct. I shook my head and looked over at both Armando and Mariana. 

“Tenemos un problema pequeño. El cordón umbilical del bebé sale antes del bebé. Ha llamado una cuerda de prolapso. Tenemos que conseguirle en cirugía.” 

(We have a little problem. The baby's umbilical cord is coming out before the baby. It's called a pro-lapsed cord. We're going to have to get you into surgery.) 

I saw both parents faces turn an ashen color. For Mariana it was the worst time possible to be losing color in her face. I turned to the nurse next to me. She was going to have to hold onto the cord while we went to the OR. I’d have this baby out in no time. But I’d have to have help on all sides. I needed an Anesthesiologist, and a Pediatrician. The Anesthesiologist for the mother, and the Pediatrician for the baby. I had to weigh my options here. Once the nurse was on the stretcher, straddling Mariana and holding onto the umbilical cord between her legs, I began to roll it out of the room with the help of several other nurses I had paged with my brand new pager. They didn’t know me yet, but they were willing to help out. 

“Esta mujer necesita oxígeno.” 

(This woman needs oxygen.) 

I shook my head trying to clear my head as me and a team of other doctors and nurses wheeled her down the hallway towards the OR. And here I thought I was going to have a rather boring day. My first few hours here, and I’ve already got one complication. What’s next? The nurse straddling Mariana looked nervous. She looked young, maybe 16. She could be a medical student too. 

 

“¿Carolina, es usted todavía conmigo? No permita que ese bebé se siente en su cuerda. Mantenga guardarlo hasta que entremos en el OR. Entiendes?” 

(Carolina, are you still with me? Don't let that baby sit on its cord. Keep holding onto it until we get into the OR. Understand?) 

Carolina nodded her head at me and kept her full concentration on keeping that baby off its umbilical cord. My real task now, was to get this baby out safely, and make sure it was healthy. Whether it was a boy or a girl. My confidence quickly returned as we made it to the OR safely. Mariana didn’t seem to be holding her own anymore. Her eyes shut tight suddenly, and her body began to jerk in every direction. We’ll have to give her something to calm her down. Seizures often amount to something else more serious. I turned to her husband and asked him a question. 

“¿Armando, tiene su marida una historia de tomas?” 

(Armando, does your wife have a history of seizures?) 

When Armando shook his head no, I began to wonder if this was something else entirely. It took four nurses and myself to hold her down, while another doctor held her head in place. As she stopped shaking, I noticed her eyes had the glazed over effect of someone being either very sick, or confused. Mariana turned to me with confusion and tears nearly pouring down her face in a great cascading waterfall. 

“Doctor Moreno-Santos, que paso? Que paso! No sé nada! 

(Doctor Moreno-Santos, what happened? What happened! I don’t know anything!) 

I’d tell her, but the best thing for her right now was to rest. We needed to get her baby out quickly, or it wouldn’t survive. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“El tiempo de la muerte: nueve dieciocho por la mañana... Aségurese ella ha limpiado. Tome al bebé, él quizás se había muerto mientras en-útero.” 

(Time of death: 9:18 a.m. Make sure she’s cleaned up. Take the baby; he might have died in-utero.) 

Armando could only stared back at me with wild eyes, as if he were about to lose his mind. Angry myself, I ripped the bloodied surgical gloves off my hands throwing them in the garbage can. I steered him out to the hallway so that the two of us could talk with one another. How could I not save her? How could I not? The answer was simple, she was small, and her body couldn’t handle the strain. Armando shot an angry look my direction and went on a rant while pointing his finger at me. 

“¡Usted! ¡Usted es responsable de la muerte de mi marida! ¡Usted la mató! ¡Mi hijo también! ¡Usted pagará por esto! ¡Usted hace!” 

(You! You’re responsible for my wife’s death! You killed her! My son too! You will pay for this! You will!) 

Though I grew angrier with his venomous words, I remained peacemaker all the same. I contained myself and tried my best to keep calm. Someone needed to help him get through this difficult time. 

“Escúcheme Armando. Hicimos todo que podemos para su marida y su hijo. Utilicé todos mis recursos para mantenerlos vivo. Ahora, su marida no podría ser guardada porque ella perdió demasiado sangre. En cuanto a su hijo, nosotros pensamos que él quizás se había muerto dentro de la matriz. ¿Jamás le dijo ella si ella sentía la parada de bebé que mueve? ¿Incluso si fuera un espacio de tiempo corto?” 

(Listen to me Armando. We did everything we could for your wife and your son. I used all my resources to keep them alive. Now, your wife couldn't be saved because she lost too much blood. As for your son, we think he might have died inside her womb. Did she ever tell you if she felt the baby stop moving? Even if it was a short period of time?) 

As I tried in vain to keep him calm, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife. Pointing it towards me, I stepped back putting my hands up in a gesture meant for trying to find a solution to this sudden problem. 

“¡Yo no le creo! ¡Usted permite que ellos morirse! ¡Ahora su vuelta!” 

(I don’t believe you! You let them die! Now it’s your turn!) 

It took four doctors and a couple of nurses to bring him down. But not before he spit in my face as a sign of disgrace. I knew he wasn’t done insulting me. I just knew he wasn’t. I needed to get out of here and quickly. 

“¡Pura basura! ¡Eso es lo que usted es doctor-Moreno Santos! ¡Pura Basura!” 

(Pure garbage! That’s what you are Doctor Moreno-Santos! Pure garbage!) 

I paid no attention to Armando as I turned around and walked away. There had to be a better way to handle the situation coming in waves down here. I shook my head, this was just chaos. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

8:35 p.m. 

It’s been a long day. My back is absolutely killing me! Fixing broken legs, dislocated shoulders, and saving a pregnant woman from the rubble of a fallen building a few blocks from the hospital. You never get used to the sadness you feel when you lose a patient and having to tell their family the bad news. I sit now in the back of a rusty old Toyota pick-up with at least twenty or so people crammed together. We must be going at speeds far faster than we would normally in Washington. The people in the back with me were crying quietly. I couldn’t help but praying, it seemed to calm my nerves. I had managed to clean my lab coat of the blood covering it. 

We must be rounding a corner. Suddenly, we came to a screeching halt. The back end opened up and the man who had told us to stay low in here showed up. We were shoved out of the truck and now we found ourselves in the middle of the desert. What the hell were we doing in the middle of the desert? 

“Buena suerte gente. Buena suerte.” 

(Good luck people. Good luck.) 

The man that had used his truck to chauffer us across the border was gone as quickly as he had dropped us off. Armed with only a gallon of water, I had no idea what was going to happen now, but we had to stick together. With no flashlights to go by, it was very difficult to see. The people in the group with me all knew I was a doctor, but were now looking to me to help them through this situation. How could I help them? How could I possibly help them? All around us was nothing but scorched ground and high mountains surrounding the desert. The dried-out, caked ground beneath us didn’t provide for a very inviting setting. The sun had already gone down, and the wind had kicked up a bit. We had to find something to build temporary shelter or keep moving. It’s probably best if we kept moving. Deserts tended to have the most extreme weather patterns, terrible heat during the day, and even more terrible cold at night. I shook my head and kept walking. 

A woman’s startled yelp/whine somewhere behind me caused me to stop, making a man and woman behind me crash into my back. Two men were struggling to keep her upright. She was crying and holding onto her stomach. It was very hard for me to tell why she was holding her stomach because it was so dark out. My eyes widened in fear as I reached for my pen-light in my pocket. Turning it on, I noticed the whole front of her dress was drenched in blood. Where could this have come from? The woman by now, was grabbing onto me and holding on for dear life. I wasn’t about to leave her side. It was already too late to save her baby, but it wasn’t too late to save her. It wouldn’t come to that, I wouldn’t let it. I had to stop the bleeding. I could see the other’s trying to crowd around me, but I needed some space to help this woman. 

A man a few feet away pulled the shirt off his back and tossed it towards me. It was imperative that I get this hemorrhaging under control. As imperative as it may be, we were in the middle of the desert. We hadn’t any medical supplies to help this woman. Another pulled off his coat for something to place under her head. I eased the frightened woman towards the ground, while the man placed the coat under her head. I shook my head in utter dismay as I switched on my penlight. I will admit even with my penlight, I couldn’t see anything beyond the hemorrhaging. I could see that the woman was in pain, but I had nothing to give her. The scary fact about all this is, her uterus was just not firming up at all. She was losing way too much blood in a faster rate of time than I thought. I heard a man in the very back begin to yell at me. 

“Que estas haciendo? Doctor! Contésteme! ¿Qué hace usted a ella?” 

(What are you doing? Doctor! Answer me! What are you doing to her?) 

Ignoring the man’s angry questions, more like verbal assault, I continued to tend to the woman in front of me. I kept shaking my head as I tossed the now full shirt off to the side. The bleeding was slowing, but her uterus was still not firming up the way I’d like it too. Finally, the bleeding stopped completely. That didn’t mean that I could move her. She needed plenty of fluids. I unscrewed the cap from her water jug and placed it up to her lips. She drank as if she hadn’t in days. After three or four swallows she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. 

“Mi bebé? Doctor? ¿Estás bien mi bebé?” 

(My baby? Doctor? Is my baby okay?)

I shook my head no at her as she tried to have a look at herself. I gently pushed her back onto the coat the man had provided her with to lie on. Her tears were more than I could bear, but I had to be strong, I was the head of the group. 

“No. parece que usted ha abortado su bebé. Ahora lo que causó este yo no sé seguramente. Podría haber sido el énfasis de tratar de cruzar la frontera. Ahora, descansaremos aquí para un rato, y nosotros necesitaremos para quedarse afuera de la manera de los helicópteros.” 

(No. It seems that you have miscarried your baby. Now what caused this I don't know for sure. It could have been the stress of trying to cross the border. Now, we'll rest here for awhile, and we'll need to stay out of the way of the helicopters.) 

The woman nodded her head and kept a strong face. This probably wasn’t the first child she’s lost, but I’d say she’s learned to handle it well. It was either that, or it hadn’t soaked in yet. Either way, I was prepared to help her through this. I froze immediately when another man began to shout something. I could hear him over the sudden din of noise all around us. They sounded like helicopters. I could see search lights far above my head. Two black-hawk helicopters advanced in our general direction. A pit began to form in my stomach. This was the moment of truth here. Would I let these men throw me back to the country of my roots from where I escaped as a child? Or would I calmly explain to them that I was a U.S. citizen? Suddenly, three giant army trucks converged on us. I carefully picked up the woman I had helped lying on the ground. I began to run like the wind trying to find a good hiding place for all of us. It wasn’t going to be easy. A man shouted in front of me. 

“La Migra! Vamos!” 

(Immigration! Let’s go!) 

I desperately looked for a place to hide, anywhere I thought would be a good spot, but there was nothing. There was nowhere to hide... The three army trucks that had been converging on our large group grounded to a halt inches from our toes. I stopped dead in my tracks, causing everyone behind me to crash into each other. The woman in my arms was crying loudly, and I was trying my best to comfort her, but a man stepped out of the truck and stood in front of me shaking his head. 

“Well, well, well, look what we got here. Trying to sneak across the border are we? Come with us.” 

The man sneered at me, and as he directed those words at us, he spoke them loudly, as if I couldn’t understand a word he was saying. That wasn’t so. I could understand him perfectly. I really could. I’d prove it to him. I held onto the woman as we were rounded up into the trucks. Before I knew it, we were at a detention center. The woman was taken from my arms, and I was lead to an office in back. The man who had sneered at me opened up the door and pushed me in slamming the door behind him. In front of me was a man sitting behind a large mahogany desk of good quality. He gestured for me to have a seat in the chair facing the front of his desk. I cautiously did so, being wary of my situation I was in. 

“What’s your name? And where did you get that lab coat?” 

I sat tall in my chair, I’d be happy to answer any question he asked of me. After all, I was a U.S. citizen. I took a moment to soak in the man’s features. The brim of his hat had sweat stains on it. He peered at me through small round glasses and with beady black eyes. His starched green U.S. Immigration uniform told me not to mess with this man. I cleared my throat and kept my eye contact with him. 

“My name is Peter Morgan. I’m a United States citizen. And this lab coat is mine. See, it has my name on it. I’m a doctor. My home state is the State of Washington. But my wife and I, and my children including my niece, we fled to Oregon, which is where we live now. I was deported by mistake. You see, I’m an American citizen. I’ve been one since I was thirteen sir. You have to believe me.” 

The man softened a little, but kept his eyes on the manila folder in front of him. Tapping his fingers on it, he pulled out a piece of paper. I tried to get a good look at the piece of paper that was attached to the manila folder. But it was no use. The man in front of me held it away from me. 

“Well not according to these papers here. They say you aren’t legal. If you were legal, we’d know about it. We’d have paper’s saying so right here. Now, I have another folder here with your wife’s name on it. Do you know her whereabouts?” 

Was this man insane? What was he speaking of? My wife was born in the U.S. Sure her parents were immigrants from Ireland and Italy, but she’s an American citizen, just like me. We were as American as Apple pie. “I’m sorry sir, but what does that have to do with me? My wife has nothing to do with this. Besides, she’s an American citizen too. She was born in Washington D.C. The District of Colombia. As I’m sure your aware of, her full name is stated inside her file.” I sat up straighter and took a deep breath to reassure myself that everything would be alright. The man scrutinized me further, as if to study every feature on my face. I stood my ground, hoping my composure would help some. I smiled to myself trying to keep my mind off what he might be thinking. Thinking of Jamie’s birth was helping ease some of the uncertainty. I began to stare at the man’s nameplate pinned to his forest green uniform. It read: B. Jenkens. He sat up straighter in his seat and gave me a smug look. 

“What seems to be so amusing Mr. Morgan? Or excuse me, I mean Doctor Morgan?” 

Did I really have to tell him what I was thinking that was making me smile? That was my own business. It was my personal business, but he had everything else about my business, I guess I should tell him. 

“The miracle of life Mr. Jenkens. My wife gave birth to our third child in September; to a healthy little girl we named Jamie Rene. I delivered her myself. Home births these days are few and far between. We couldn’t go to the hospital because they’ve been shut down in Washington for months, and 911 had been off the hook too. You’ve got to believe me when I say that I’m a legal American citizen. Really I am. May I be allowed one phone call to my wife?” 

The man in front of me named B. Jenkens could only stare at me in utter amazement. Yes, I had manners. My mother taught me well. He nodded his head and pushed the phone on his desk towards me. I smiled appreciative of him. Picking up the phone I dialed the U.S. Immigration office in Portland, knowing full well that my wife was there waiting for me. 

“Yes, I’d like to speak to my wife. Her name is Nina Jarvis-Morgan. Is she there? She’s been expecting my call. What do you mean my wife is being detained and cannot take calls? Listen, I don’t care what it takes, just give the phone to my wife, I need to speak with her. What are you talking about? No, I’m speaking to you sir. Where are my children? Where have you taken them? What do you mean that they aren’t with my wife? You took them away from her and placed them in the foster care system? They aren’t orphans or children in dangerous circumstances. How could you do this? You’ve split my family up in three different directions!” 

I angrily hung up the man’s phone and pushed it back to its rightful place on the desk. My children were separated from their mother! Nina must be so heartbroken. Maia must be so confused on what’s happening. I feel like I’ve let her down. Nina and I were supposed to take care of her. The man in front of me smirked. What was he smirking at? 

“Having some issues Doctor Morgan?” 

How could my family be separated from each other? My children split in three different directions. Maia and Jamie had gone to a family who had no children of their own. Jamie had just begun to notice her surroundings and the people around her. She knew Nina and I, and her brother Will. She also knew Maia, Ellie, and Eddy. She was a very happy baby. Immigration must have sent them to an orphanage somewhere in the city. Same with Ellie and Eddy. The worst part about all this was Immigration was detaining my wife. She was a perfectly legal American citizen. My eyes widened when I saw my wife’s folder in front of me. The man had left the room for a moment, so this would give me time to see what they could dig up on Nina. I shook my head as I read her file. 

Menina O’Shaunessy-Vespucci. Born February 26th, 1964 in Kilmanen, Ireland. Her parents, Cora O’Shaunessy and Vespucci moved to America when she was three months old. I quickly shut my wife’s file when I heard the door handle jiggling. I remained calm as Mr. Jenkens came in. How is it that my wife got her government job with Homeland security if she’s not legal? I suppose her parents never told her she wasn’t an American citizen. Of course, all this could be fabricated. After all, Gabriel Hewitt had spies almost everywhere now, and he could use them to the best of his advantage. “Doctor Morgan good news, looks like we’ll be sending you home. It seems we’ve had you confused with someone else.” No, it couldn’t be that easy. There had to be some sort of catch to all this. Really there had to be. I was so confused. Before I knew it, I was on a bus back to Portland. And as the scenery changed around me, I thought of the fates that awaited the people who had been with me. Being near the border of Oregon and California now, I was on a bus with the American public.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 15th, 2008 

5:45 a.m. 

Portland, Oregon 

I was never happier when we pulled into Union Station in the Pearl District. I was finally home. This was a much different scene than I was used to when I left a couple of days ago. When I left there weren’t many soldiers parading the streets with machine guns, and now there were many. Now all I had to do was get myself to the Immigration office. As I got off the bus, I walked to the edge of the curb of the sidewalk and hailed a taxi. When it pulled up I opened up the door and sat down. 

“Immigration office please. Northwest Broadway.” 

The morning traffic was considerably light since it was only a quarter to six. The real traffic wouldn’t start until 6:30. Looking out the window I could see there were considerably more homeless people than before, either that or I hadn’t been on this side of the city before. The only thing I could see was Tri-met busses going down the lonely roads of 5th and 6th avenues also known as the Transit Mall. Even those lie mostly empty with only a couple of passengers here and there. The two tallest buildings here seemed so small compared to what I had seen in L.A. The taxi stopped in front of a large building on Broadway and looked back at me. 

“Here we are sir. That’ll be $5.50.” 

I paid the man the $5.50 and left the car. I stared up at the opposing building in front of me and pressed forward entering the two rather large glass doors in front of me. A stern receptionist sat behind a large desk in front of me. 

“Can I help you sir?” 

I nodded my head and looked around. Now where were they holding my wife? I turned back to the woman in front of me with the stern look on her face. She had such a demeanor about her that it was hard to tell if she was really like that. 

“Yes, I believe two of your agents are detaining my wife in one of these rooms. I’ve come to get her.” 

The woman picked up the phone and dialed a number. I waited, however impatient I was at the moment. Finally, she hung up the phone looking up at me with something of a smirk on her face. What is it with these people and smirks? 

“Right this way sir.”

I followed the woman in the dark business suit around three or four corners of the building. Finally she showed me to a room with a two way mirror. I could see Nina through the mirror. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days. She had deep circles under her eyes, and I could see she was mumbling about something and holding onto what she thought was our Jamie. 

“No, you can’t have my baby. She’s fine. Please don’t take her!” 

Anger welled up inside of me. What have these people done to her? Heaven above help these people because I was very upset with what’s happened with my wife. She had no idea where she was. What have they done to her? 

To Be Continued...


	14. Reprecussions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

January 16th, 2008

I don’t know how to describe how I feel right now. But I feel completely stripped of my dignity for some reason. My arms feel so light without my Jamie in them. Coping has been difficult these past few days; I’ve felt like I’ve been living in a glass bubble. I wanted my baby back. Peter and I sit now in front of the fireplace, a large fire roaring keeping us warm. The repercussions of this situation hadn’t fully expressed themselves as of yet. Maia must feel very betrayed over the fact that Peter and I have let her down. 

Snow had begun to fall outside quite heavy, and without a news broadcast to hear or see it was hard to tell what the conditions were outside. I shook my head despite the fact that I had no reason why I was shaking it. I began to shiver and shake, but being in Peter’s arms I felt completely safe. One hand still on his arms, the other went straight to my shrinking stomach. It had been four uneventful months, and my stomach still hadn’t shrank back down to the size I wanted it. I went about rubbing it, as if there were a small child tucked away in my womb somewhere, where I could only feel it. Peter noticed what I was doing and peered into my eyes with pity and concern.

“Honey, we’ll get Jamie back. We’ll get Maia back too. Will’s passing has been difficult to bear yes, but he’s gone to a better place. I know you’re lonely and you want our Jamie back. We’ll get her back. But rubbing your still slightly swelled abdomen isn’t going to bring her back.”

With the nod of my head, Peter knew that I was still grieving over the loss of our only son. It happened sometime between the two or three days that Peter had been gone and I had been detained... I only learned of it just yesterday, so I’ve been crying my eyes out. Peter and I have suffered a great loss. I was visibly shaking, and Peter’s arms seemed to protect me from the cruel outside world.

“I know Peter, but it doesn’t help any that Will is gone. To live four years and be so cruelly taken five months before his fifth birthday... You have no idea how I feel right now. The repercussions are that of something that I cannot even begin to describe. I remember the day we found out about Will. You were as pale as a ghost and on your knees as if begging the heaven’s above for mercy... Do you remember what you did next?”

I could clearly see Peter nod his head at me. Tears were streaming down his face, but he didn’t mind showing his true feelings. He had just lost a son. The pain over losing a child is unbearable. 

“Yes, I remember cariña. I placed my left hand protectively over your abdomen like this. It was the very notion of knowing that a tiny human being was growing inside of you filled me with such joy that I am still unable to describe today.”

My mind began to wander as I kept my hand over my stomach. Having another baby meant everything to me. Another son would be the only way to fill the gap in Peter’s heart. The good thing about Will was that he wasn’t in any pain. That was what his doctor’s told me. I just wished I had been there with him to hold his hand in his last minutes before leaving us. Instead I had been locked up in a detention room with a two-way mirror at the Immigration and Naturalization Office. I was angry with the people who ran that place. My son had passed away without either of his parents there at his side... A lump began to form in my throat, and it wouldn’t ebb despite my efforts to curb the feeling. The more I thought about it, the more I felt sick to my stomach. Peter and I had not yet asked if we could see our son. We’d have to make arrangements with the Finley Sunset Memorial Cemetery for the burial plot and his burial. Our little miracle had flown away to the heavens, just like his sister Lexi had so many years ago when he was a baby. We’d be blessed with another soon enough. But was I ready and able to accept it? First things first though, we had to get Jamie and Maia back. Ellie and Eddy we’d visit but they’ve found a loving home. Peter and I after all, had said it was only temporary. 

My eyes glanced over at Will’s picture sitting on the mantle by the fireplace. Five small candles flickered in silence, waiting for someone to notice their existence. Each year, I lit a new candle for Lexi’s picture. 

It was awful the way Jamie, Maia, Ellie and Eddy were taken from me. If those people who had Jamie and Maia found out that Maia was a 4400, I wouldn’t know what would happen from there. We had been sitting in front of the receptionist’s desk waiting for news on Peter, when a social worker came up to us. 

Though her eyes looked caring enough, I knew her job was to take children away. Maia had tried to put up a fight with the social worker, whose name was Karen, but deep down she knew that everything was going to be alright again. It was just going to take some time. Jamie had been taken from my arms while in the middle of nursing! Ellie had been next to Maia asleep on the chairs and Eddy asleep in the stroller! Ellie was very fussy, and she had been screaming at the top of her lungs. Then she began to scream that I was her mother. 

Before I had even the chance to protest what the woman in front of me was doing, I was left alone in the temporarily abandoned waiting/reception area with an empty blanket and under it my bare skin exposed so that Jamie could nurse. Peter came into my line of vision and broke me free of my reverie. 

“Cariño, what is it? You look like you’ve just seen a horrible ghost.”

My memories did seem like ghosts. But in reality, it was only yesterday when this happened. My children taken from my arms in an instant. How could I, as a mother let them go? How could I? I hear their screams in my sleep. Maia’s crying resounded in my ears like a moaning widow. 

“I’ve let Maia down. A woman from the Department of Human Services came and took them from me. Before I could protest what she was even doing, she pulled Maia up from the chairs, took Jamie up from my arms, while she was still breastfeeding! I felt so embarrassed sitting there partly exposed and with a man standing nearby no less! 

Eddy was still asleep in the stroller; Ellie had been taken with another woman who had come with her... I was left alone Peter. Left alone with no children, taken to a back room and not told why I was being interrogated. Just that I didn’t have any right to open my mouth. They pulled a file on me Peter. A file saying that I wasn’t a legal American Citizen. That is a lie and you know it. 

My mother was born in Ireland and my father was born in Italy. But according to the file, it said that my mother had given birth to me in Kilmanen County, Ireland. We came to America when I was six months old. That has to be a lie. It just has to.   
What happened while you were away Peter? Is it really that terrible in Tijuana? I worried about you when you were gone.” 

My husband’s eyes seemed to be filled with something I couldn’t quite identify. His face had grown haggard since two days past, and a beard had begun to show itself on his face. The stubble of it anyways. His hair was turning white. One of the first signs of premature aging. Peter and I are both just forty-one years old, but I don’t even have white hair yet. I could see he was lost deep in thought, and his left hand never left my stomach, stroking it gently, as if he were remembering something he had lost a long time ago. 

 

“Everything seemed to be so lost in Tijuana. I even felt lost. But I should start at the beginning. While I was checking up on Will, two men barged into his room spun me around, and slapped a pair of handcuffs on me. They hadn’t told me what I had done wrong, just that I was in the country illegally. This isn’t true. I’m an American citizen. You know that. 

As I was being lead out of the room, I could see the countless faces staring back at me as I was steered down the hallway by two men I did not know. It was awful. I felt so disgraced being taken away by these men, but I had no choice but to follow them. I was then taken to the parking garage, blindfolded and I couldn’t see where I was going. The blindfold was taken off me when we got to the basement of an abandoned warehouse. 

What’s so bad about that situation is, a pregnant woman was also with me. It was very difficult for her because she was three weeks shy of her due date. But because of the situation that we were in, she went into labor early, and in the middle of the night. It was so dark at first that I could not see a thing in front of me. I could hear her cries, but had a hard time getting to her. I had to feel my way to the wall and over to the light switch. Once I got the light switch on, I could see that the bottom of her nightgown was covered in blood. That baby didn’t wait. A lone mattress was the only thing she could lay on. Not even a sheet on it. A bare mattress being blood-stained. I gave that mattress up for her. She needed it more than I did. 

The only problem with this being that we didn’t have anything sterile in which to work with. I made sure my hands were clean and I was glad I had stuffed an extra pair of latex gloves into my lab coat. It was so hard to see anything let alone the baby with all the hemorrhaging. I was able to get it under control, but as I was getting things underway, the locked door upstairs opened up and down came a big burly looking man. 

I tried to shield Abigail that was the woman’s name, as best I could from the perverted and prying eyes of this man in front of me... The minute he came down, he began to accuse me of trying to rape the poor woman... You know I’d never do such a thing... The man really had an obscene mind I’m telling you. I ordered him to get me some ice chips... And some towels if he could find any... When he left the room, Abigail was beginning to have really bad chronic back pain... By then, the hemorrhaging had stopped. I helped her sit up and massaged her back so it’d ease the pain she was feeling. Believe me, it would have been a lot easier if she had been under my care in a hospital and under good amount of pain medication... 

After awhile she said her back didn’t hurt anymore, and that her contractions were coming more frequently. But before I could get back into position in front to help her, she began to push. She knew what she was doing. I had advised against it until I could be there to place my hands in position so the baby could land in them. She was very stubborn. That baby came out within three big pushes. A healthy little girl she named Esperanza. I barely had anytime to cut the umbilical cord to separate the baby from her mother when the burly man came back with the ice chest and dragged me up the stairs... That’s when I called you. 

From there I was sent on a bus to San Diego, and then from there, to Tijuana. Abigail was there next to me the whole time... The men had given her a change of clothes and a pair of plastic shoes to wear... She had been made to walk just after giving birth. When we got to Tijuana she could barely stand anymore and was starting to hemorrhage again. I had no choice but to take her to the local hospital. When we reached there a nurse took her in another direction and I went the other. I started seeing patients the moment I stepped in the door. I never saw Abigail after that. I wonder if she’s alright. Another woman on the verge of giving birth, I couldn’t save her... I just couldn’t...”

The deep sorrow in my husband’s voice struck a painful chord in me... When he said he couldn’t save the woman, it brought tears to my eyes. Though he had never lost me, I could see that deep in his soul he feared it every day. That’s why he did his best to protect me from everyday life. I brought his head towards my chest and let it rest there. He seemed to calm down a little. Listening to my breathing always calmed him. Don’t know why though. 

“It’s okay baby. I know you’re hurting. It’s not your fault. You did everything you could to say that woman and her baby. Don’t blame yourself for something that cannot be helped now. It’s in the past. Where is all this coming from anyways? I’ve never seen you act like this. What’s going on?”

Peter glanced up at me from his place atop my chest and his eyes were so full of sadness that it most certainly could fill two lifetimes worth. Heartache was what we were both feeling right now; Maia and Jamie were all we had left. My little boy gone, it was hard to move on in the world. Wounds were still fresh. I wished Peter and I had been there during his last moments on this Earth. Really I had. He and I had already lost three children, granted Emma didn’t reach term, but it was still three children. The first is Lexi. Then there was Emma. Lost by an accident that could have been prevented. Will too, he could have been saved if only we’d had the medicine he so desperately needed if Jordan Collier had let us get to it. I blame him for my son’s death. He could have had a full life if it hadn’t been for that. 

“Cariño, you don’t know what I saw in that woman’s eyes. She begged me to save her. She had no idea what was even going on. She was so small, and her baby, a boy couldn’t fit through her birth canal. She was four feet and four inches tall. The babies cord came out before the baby itself. Pro-lapsed cords aren’t always easy to fix. We rushed her into the OR, removed the fetus from the mother only to find out that he died of axfixiation. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. The mother bled out. It was too late to save her. The husband blamed me for the death of them both and nearly attacked me with a pocket knife. Before he could nick me with the tip of it, I jumped back several feet. 

Of all the people I did save while I was down there, I managed to save a pregnant woman from a fallen building six blocks from the hospital and fix two broken legs. I felt I made a difference, no matter how small it may have been.”

I removed Peter’s hand from my stomach and slowly stood up. I made my way over towards our bedroom. Once inside, I found myself standing in front of Jamie’s crib. I looked into it, and could almost see Jamie’s form sleeping peacefully in it. Tears sprang forth from my eyes as I reached in to grab for her blanket. I inhaled its soapy scent so deeply; it made my head begin to spin. Peter appeared beside me and pulled me into his arms. I knew Maia must feel so betrayed by our sworn protection of her. We let her down. But Peter and I were going to get her back. 

“Jamie’s blanket. It still smells like her Peter. I will get her back even if it takes every last breath in my body. She was a difficult baby to give birth to, but she’s my baby not the foster parent’s she’s with right now. Are you with me Peter? I’m going out to get her right now. Even if I have to get a search warrant.”

As I was making my way out the door to our bedroom, Peter put a hand on top of my shoulder to stop me. I pulled his hand away from my shoulder and went over to the coat rack. Pulling my coat on over my shoulders, my tears began to fall faster. I wanted my baby back. 

“Hold on a minute cariño. It’s snowing up a blizzard out there. We’ll call the taxi service to come and pick us up. We’ll get them back. I promise.”

 

To Be Continued...


	15. Running away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

January 25th, 2008

Steve and Mary-Ann Turnin are a nice couple with two kids of their own, but they most certainly are not my parents. I don’t like being in this foster home. I had to find a way to get back to mom again. But first I had to get Jamie out of this house and get back to Peter and Nina. I’ll wait until they are both asleep and take Jamie with me. It won’t be easy though. I’ll have to be very quiet about it. They give me an allowance so I have some money for bus fare. I’ll have to take the 77 downtown and wait for the 55 to take me up to Hamilton. Mary-Ann looks me in the eye suddenly and startles me from my plans.

“Maia honey, would you like another piece of meatloaf? Or maybe some Cobb Salad?”

I smiled politely and nodded my head holding out my plate so that she could serve me. As she was placing the food onto my plate, I heard Jamie begin to whimper and whine from the other room. As I was getting up, Mary-Ann looked me straight in the eye. I kept on my way out of the kitchen. 

“I’ll go check on Jamie. I’ll be right back.”

Jamie’s apparent cries became louder as I came into the living room and over to the crib. I reached in and picked her up. She calmed in my arms. I wondered; should I make a run for the door now or wait? Caution was the best way to handle the situation right now. Let’s not be too hasty now. She gurgled and smiled at me. She was such a sweet baby. She and I had bonded quickly. I could feel eyes on my back and I turned quickly to see Steve behind me smiling his disgustingly innocent smile at me. 

“So is Jamie hungry? Or did she just want to be held?”

I shook my head no and rocked Jamie a little. She seemed so happy in my arms. I noticed that when she was with Steve and Mary-Ann she would cry and scream in their arms. She was only calm in my own for some reason... She tried playing with her feet as I cooed at her. I turned my attention then to Steve.

“No Steve, she isn’t hungry. She just wanted someone to hold her.”

I think Steve is a little hurt by the fact that I don’t call him dad, or rather ‘daddy’. Mary-Ann too. It’s like these two are stuck on me calling them something that they aren’t to me. Nina and Peter are more of a family to me than these two. Steve kept giving me his innocent smile. 

“Well let me know if she gets hungry. Mary-Ann and I will get her a bottle. Are you about finished with your dinner young lady? If you are I’d like you to start working on your homework.”

I shook my head no; I didn’t want to do my homework... I was getting out of here tonight. Whether they liked it or not. Instead of placing Jamie into Steve’s arms, I put her back into her crib. Jamie began crying again, but if I took her with me now, they would know what was going on. I went back into the kitchen and cleared my plate from the table. Mary-Ann’s two oldest kids, one a year older than I was and the other 16 only sneered at me. I only narrowed my eyes at them. Who were they to sneer at me? I hadn’t done anything wrong to them. Then suddenly my mouth ran away with me.

“You know Mark and Julie, I know I may look younger than the two of you, but trust me, I was born way before you were even thought of...”

I clamped my hand over my mouth as suddenly as those words had come out of my mouth. Why had I just said that? Now they are going to think I’m some sort of freak. Julie could only stare at me. 

“What are you talking about Maia? Your three years younger than I am.”

Yes, I may look and be thirteen, but I was born in 1938. Technically I’d be an old woman by now in my seventies... I’d be seventy this year. I could not answer Julie without telling her who I really was, so I laughed it off. Though in my mind I knew that I was right and she was not. I was getting out no matter what. They weren’t going to stop me either. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 26th, 2008 12:45 a.m.

I had made sure that my alarm was on the lowest setting so that no one in the house would hear it go off. I threw some clothes on and a pair of shoes. I had put on the warmest clothes I could find. Now all I had to do was get Jamie out of Mary-Ann’s and Steve’s room without them waking up. I tiptoed out into the hallway careful not to wake everyone up. Both Mark and Julie’s bedroom doors were closed, so I was safe from them. Mary-Ann and Steve kept their door open ajar just slightly in case one of us needed anything. But I didn’t need anything. Without turning the light on, I went into the room and over towards Jamie’s crib. I gently picked her up. I’d have to grab a few of Jamie’s warmest clothes from her dresser drawer. With one hand I carefully pulled her sweater over her head. She already had warm pants and socks on, so all I had to do now was place her in the carrier that went around my waist, so I could carry her in front of me. 

I was ever so careful when I got down the stairs. Once I placed her in the carrier strapped to my chest, I put her coat on and made sure it was snug but not to smother her. By now, I already had my coat on, a hat and gloves, a scarf, money for bus fare and a backpack with a few things packed like my diary and a change of clothes. As I closed the front door behind me as quietly as I could, I heard noise. I turned to see whom it was, but there was no one. I went down the stairs and made my way down the street to the line 77 bus stop. I had to get off at 9th and Marshall. I was in Montgomery Park. 27th and Vaughn wasn’t a great place to be, but it wasn’t real dangerous. I looked down at my watch, there was a bus coming in three minutes. The three minutes I waited in the bus shelter felt like a million years before I saw the bus turn down 27th. Was I ever glad when I saw it. I flagged the driver down so that he would see me. The doors opened up and it seemed to greet me. 

“Line 77 to Troutdale.” 

I got on the bus and put my $1.50 into the fare box and the driver gave me a ticket, which lasted me until 3:30. It was only 1:00 a.m. I sat down in the front seat of the bus, when we began moving the driver looked at me in the rearview mirror.

“Hey kid, where are you going in the middle of the night? That your kid in tow?”

I shook my head no; I’d explain myself to the driver. Jamie was fast asleep, and she didn’t know what was going on. I’m glad she’s too little   
to understand. 

“No, this is my little sister Jamie. I’m going back to my aunt and uncle’s house. We were both taken away from them by mistake. Can you tell me when we get to 9th and Marshall please?”

The driver only smiled at me and kept her eyes on the road. I was the only one on the bus. I had no clue where I was going because it was   
dark outside, despite the street lights illuminating the streets in front of us. I glanced up at the reader board when the computer called out the street we were on now. 

“9600 block SW Lovejoy. Transfer to line 15.”

I was still very confused on where we were at, but the driver gave me a reassuring smiled in the rearview mirror. Jamie seemed to jerk herself   
awake inside the baby carrier I had strapped to the front of me. The noise must have startled her. I tried to comfort her.

“It’s okay Jamie. We’ll get back to Uncle Peter and Aunt Nina. You’ll see. If only mommy were here with us. She’d help us find a way home again. And we’re not going back with Mary-Ann and Steve again... They aren’t our family. They never will be.”

The driver kept her eyes on the road but I could tell that she was somewhat concerned about the two of us. What should I tell her? I knew that the 15 wouldn’t directly take me to Nina and Peter again. So I had to get up to Hamilton. The stops went by in a blur until we reached my destination.

“SW 9th and Marshall. Transfer to line 55. This is the last stop in zone 2. Esta es el último sonido en la zona 2.”

The driver rang the bell for me and stopped. I turned to her and smiled. I was really on my way to finding Peter and Nina again. I was that much closer to finding them at least. 

“Thank-you. And have a nice night.”

The driver only smiled at me and made sure I got off safely. But before she closed the door and left, she gave me some encouragement.

“Good luck to you and your sister kid, and be careful. There are strange people out here at night. The 55 stop is just a couple of block up ahead. She should be around the corner in two or three minutes. Remember, be careful. You have a nice night too. Keep warm, and keep your sister bundled up. It’s rather cold out tonight.”

With that, the driver closed the doors and all I could hear now when she pulled away from the curb was the chains on her tires. I kept my eyes peeled and looking everywhere as I walked the two blocks up the street. Once I found the bus stop, I noticed the sign was covered in an inch of snow. So, I took my glove and brushed away the snow from the blue, orange and white sign. I could now read the bold large print of the line number on the sign. Under it in a slightly smaller print it said: Frequent stops to Portland City Center. As I was about to sit down, I saw lights and then a bus slowly making its way towards me. I waved it down and it managed to stop just slightly in front of me. Opening up its doors it yet again announced its destination.

“Line 55 to Portland.”

I stepped on carefully and made sure my backpack was secure on my back and made sure Jamie was okay. She was getting fussy; I think it’s   
time for her bottle. I took out my fare and showed it to the driver; she nodded her head and shut the door. As I sat down, I carefully took my backpack off. Sifting through it, I found her bottle. I had packed water so that I could mix her formula. I poured some water into her bottle after I found the formula and poured it in. I screwed the cap back on and shook it. Once I knew that it was ready, I stuck the tip of the nipple of the bottle into her mouth. Holding it at an angle, I knew she was hungry. She attacked the bottle like there was no tomorrow. I listened to her sucking on her bottle making happy noises. This driver too was curious as to what I might be doing on a city bus in the middle of the night.

“Where you going kid? That your kid in tow?”

I shook my head once more; this question was becoming more and more commonplace. Why was it that everyone kept asking me that very question on their minds? I wasn’t going to tell her that I was running away because she’d probably call the cops on me. 

“No, this is my little sister Jamie. We’re going home. I went to a friend’s house and lost track of time. My mother is already upset with me as it is. I told her I’d be home as soon as I could get there.”

The driver only nodded her head, though suspicious of my story. What was I going to do? I couldn’t tell her what had really happened. Sooner or later Steve and Mary-Ann would find out that I had run away with Jamie in tow, and then they’d call the cops. I had to get back to Peter and Nina. 

“Could you tell me when we get to SW Jefferson and 16th please?”

The driver nodded and kept her eyes on the road, just like the previous driver had. The snow was falling heavily to the ground. It was covering the cars at an increasing rate. I wondered what Peter and Nina were doing right now. I had to get back to them, to get Jamie back to them at least. Everything again went by in a big blur, all the city streets at this time of night all looked the same. Hardly any traffic moved along them. I held Jamie’s bottle in place, she was almost done with her meal. I perked up when I saw the abandoned MAX train we used to live in when we first came here. It was empty, the lights had gone from it, and the windows were now broken... I knew that under the nearly two inches of snow covering it, there was graffiti covering nearly every inch. Though this was South East Portland, there were gangs from North East that were slowly trying to vie for control. 

NEM was responsible for the graffitying of everything. Even the building that I lived in with Peter and Nina, had the scrawling of the letters NEM all over it. It stood for North East Meteors. Meteors? Why had they chosen the name of a space rock? It didn’t really matter why, just that they broke laws and wrecked havoc on the adjacent neighborhoods around us. The Pearl District was no longer among the elite sections of the city anymore... It was blending in with sections of the North East half of the city, which were not inviting. Crime ran rampant there now since the war bled down here and erupted in a kind of fire fight. Control over territory was what it was... People weren’t being civilized anymore... It was eye for an eye and survival of the fittest. When we first got here, it was chaos, but nothing like now. There are still sections where you are relatively safe, but it is slowly changing. Soon the bus announced my destination.

“SW Jefferson and 16th. Transfer to lines 6, 43, 45, 58, 63, and 68. This is the last stop in zone 1. Esta es el último sonido en la zona 1.”

The driver rang the bell for me and stopped the bus. She opened up the door for me. I hadn’t far to walk. Nina and Peter’s apartment was just up the street. I nodded to the driver as she closed the door. Jamie was fast asleep again. I place the bottle into the container holder in the side of my backpack. I made my trek uphill towards the apartment. I went inside the hallway and the metal gate door slammed shut behind me. I pushed the buzzer labeled Jarvis/Morgan. I heard Peter’s worn out voice.

“Whose there?”

My heart leapt with joy to hear his voice. I had traveled far to be with them, and now I was back again. I just hoped that Steve and Mary-Ann would take me away from them. I wanted my mother now more than ever, this would solve the problem. 

“Peter it’s me Maia. I’ve got Jamie here with me. Please let me in.”

I heard the sound of the lock from the door on the stairs open up. I went through it and up the stairs. Once I got to the apartment, I knocked on it and Peter answered it. Nina was right by his side. Her eyes were filled with tears and something else I couldn’t read. What had happened to her while I was gone? Her spirit seemed to have dimmed a little. This wasn’t like her at all. She pulled me into a soft hug careful of Jamie. 

“Maia! Am I glad to see you! How did you get here?”

Her tears turned into happy ones as she picked up the sleeping Jamie from the baby carrier strapped to my chest. Sure it was Steve and Mary-Ann’s but they’ll never miss it because I’m never going back. 

“You brought me my Jamie back! Thank-you Maia. Thank-you!”

Mother and daughter were reunited. I had promised myself I’d get Jamie back to her mother. Now all I had to do was get back to mine. I felt warm suddenly, was I getting sick again? I had been out in the chill of the night air a bit too long. Peter ushered me towards the roaring fire in the living room. Nina locked the front door with the deadbolt the chain lock and the regular lock. When had they gotten all these locks? Safety measure I’m sure. 

“Maia your chill to the bone! Here, let’s get you warmed up by the fire. How did you get here? It’s the middle of the night. You know that Steve and Mary-Ann will be looking for you. We have to settle this legally. You are under our care. We’ll fight the courts as best we can. You’ll be safe.”

Though Peter spoke those words, they provided me no comfort tonight. They just didn’t. I peeled off my snow-soaked coat. I began shivering. Was I running a fever? Peter saw me shivering and placed the back of his hand on my forehead.

“Maia you’re burning up. We need to get your fever down! We’ll get some cool cloths onto your forehead and if that doesn’t work, Nina is going to help cool you down in a lukewarm bath. Nina, once you get Jamie to sleep can you get some blankets for Maia? Not to cover her right now, but after we bring her fever down.”

Nina nodded her head as Peter ushered me towards my room. I made him stand outside my room while I put on some dry pajamas. These were nice and warm. I put myself under the covers and Peter brought me a cool washcloth for my forehead. I welcomed it pleasingly. It was cool and comfortable. It was sure to bring down my fever considerably. I felt much cooler as the minutes passed by. I was worried that Steve and Mary-Ann would burst into the house and take me and Jamie back. There was no way Peter and Nina would let that happen though. Nina was back in a flash with some water. I gulped it down faster than I thought I could. Peter’s ability as a doctor never ceased to amaze me. 

“Maia, I’m just going to take a listen to your heartbeat okay? What were you doing out in that blizzard anyways?”

I sat bleary-eyed looking at Peter with uncertainty. I had only wanted to get back to them badly so that I could get away from Steve and Mary-Ann. They had made my life miserable the past month, even though I tried to be nice and polite with the things they did for me. Their other children didn’t like me. But they loved Jamie. They thought she was their little sister. Not so. I seemed to be the outcast of the family. I took in a shaky breath. That’s weird. 

“I took two buses to get here. I hopped onto the 77 going to Troutdale and then hopped onto the 55 going towards Portland... I was only a few feet from the house... You can’t let Steve and Mary-Ann take me and Jamie away... It can’t happen... Though my visions are usually never wrong...” 

Dwelling on this made my head spin even more. But at least I was back with Nina and Peter again. The worries that spilled over in my head were no match for my drooping eyes. I couldn’t seem to stay awake. I barely even noticed when Peter put an ear thermometer into my ear to check my temperature. It beeped and I managed to open my eyes for a moment and smiled at him.

“Well Maia, your temperature’s normal. You’re back down to 98.6. Get some sleep it’s very late...”

I frowned... When had they lost Will? How terrible Nina must be feeling right now. I glanced over at her to find tears threatening to spill out from her eyes at any moment. At least she had Jamie back. Jamie was the only baby she had left. The story of what happened to Emma made my head ache and my hands shake. But I put it out of my mind so that I could fall asleep. Perhaps they’d tell me in the morning what happened to Will. For now I was safe, as safe as one can be anyways. With that, I closed my eyes and let myself drift off into what hopefully was a good night’s sleep, fill with good intentions of eventually getting back to mommy someday.

 

To Be Continued...


	16. Undercover spies for Gabriel Hewitt

January 26th, 2008 9:25 a.m.

I opened up my eyes to find that bright light was splashing the walls of my entire room, making it look an eerie white. The snow outside had stopped falling, but had left a blanket of fresh snow about an inch or two higher than before. I groaned and turned over, pulling the pillow over my head. I heard movement out in the hallway. Though I was tired, I managed to pull myself out of bed, not even worrying over the fact that my back was killing me because of the fact of carrying Jamie such a long way. I slightly opened my door so that it was only ajar. I came face to face with a very tired and disheveled looking Nina. The circles under her eyes told me she hadn’t gotten enough sleep last night... I managed a smile, though I knew it was weary.

“Morning Nina, how’d you sleep?”

Nina burst into tears suddenly, which I was not expecting at all. I pulled my pink robe on over my pajamas and walked out into the living room with her. Sitting down on the couch I did my best to make her feel better. 

“I had the awfulest dream last night. I had a dream that we were all taken away. Steve and Mary-Ann were undercover spies for Gabriel Hewitt. We were taken to a place with high barbed-wire fences; it was more like a prison than an internment camp. We were given food and clean water, but the worst part about all this was the bugs. The fleas were the worst. They’d bite at us every chance they got.”

My eyes widened. She had the same dream I did. Only it was turning more and more into a vision rather than a dream. But she couldn’t see the future. Only I could. Her and Peter’s power was to read each other’s thoughts. 

“But how is it that you had the same dream I did? You and Peter can read each other’s thoughts. I don’t want to be taken away... Maybe Steve and Mary-Ann really aren’t spies for Gabriel Hewitt. Maybe we’re both wrong about this whole thing.”

Though I was making myself sounding very sure, I really wasn’t. I only said it to make Nina and I feel better. I watched in silence as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Peter came out of the bedroom with Jamie in his arms and saw the looks of distress on our faces. 

“Honey, what’s wrong? Maia has something happened?”

How could Nina and I tell Peter what we had together witnessed? It wasn’t something that we could easily express to him without quivering with fear. I turned my attention towards Jamie, and kept it there. Her cooing made me smile, but I hadn’t forgotten what Nina and I had both seen. Her beautiful brown eyes sparkled in the light in the living room. I could tell Peter knew what was going on just then, because he must have read his wife’s thoughts.

“What do you mean Mary-Ann and Steve are undercover spies for Gabriel Hewitt? I will not let them take us away... I will not... I’ll fight tooth and nail if I have to... This war has cost us enough heartache and grief already.”

Though Peter sounded very sure of himself at the moment, I knew he had some room for doubt somewhere deep down inside him. I didn’t want to make myself sick with worry about my vision, but I didn’t want to be taken away from them again... I glanced up into Peter’s eyes, and was almost begging.

“Peter, can I hold Jamie?”

Peter smiled, but the worried expression never left his eyes as he placed Jamie into my arms. Jamie gurgled and giggled at me. Then she began to make bubbles. Her fingers fumbled with the gold chain that held the 14 karat gold medallion of La Virgen de Guadalupe on it. She tried putting the enormous medallion in her mouth and suck on it, but found that the tip of the bottom wouldn’t fit. Mary-Ann and Steve had taken it from around Jamie’s neck because they believed a baby shouldn’t bear gold on their bodies, only because it could be stolen by any one at any time. 

“Nina and I promised that we wouldn’t let anyone take you away. Especially not our Jamie. Everything else we’ve lost, she’s the only one we have left. We cannot let Mary-Ann and Steve come into our house and let them take Maia and Jamie away like that. It isn’t right. I’ll fight with every last breath I have in me if I have to.”

I pushed the awkward and frightening thought aside when I felt hunger pangs begin to assault my stomach. Pancakes sounded good. Peter made some pretty good one’s out of his “secret family recipe” cookbook his mother brought up with them from Mexico when he was a kid. I nodded my head trying to believe him for once. 

“I just don’t want to be taken away from you guys again. Though you two aren’t my family, you are like one for right now until we can find my mom again. I’m hungry, I want pancakes. Blueberry pancakes or chocolate chip sound good. If not French toast is fine.”

Peter gave me a sincere smile and ruffled my hair a little. I didn’t like when he did that, but what can I say? He saw me as a little girl sometimes. I said nothing only because it was better to be safe here with Nina and Peter and him doing that to my hair than Mary-Ann and Steve doing that to me. *Shudders* Jamie began to fuss in my arms as I knew they were the beginnings of her hungry cries. Nina carefully took Jamie from my arms and held her, looking down at her tiredly. Though the war scared me, I knew that Jordan Collier would make it alright again. Bring peace to the Earth. But Nina and Peter didn’t agree with it, even though they had abilities. I had to somehow convince them that Jordan wasn’t a bad guy. I had to. As with all my visions, I didn’t know when Mary-Ann and Steve were going to break into the apartment and take us away. We’d run again if we had to. I had to play it safe for now. A happier vision clouded around me suddenly. I smiled seeing it in front of me. 

Jamie. She’s much older than she is now, I’d have to say about 2. Her hair is in brown tight ringlets and they are bobbing up and down. She’s jumping. 

“Mama, I see baby?” I hear familiar laughter. 

“No not yet baby girl. Not for a little while longer.” 

This wasn’t Peter and Nina’s apartment. We’re in a big room with bunk beds stacked three high. Nina is sitting on the bottom one, her hand protectively over her swelling stomach. She’s wearing white, and as in my dream on her right arm was a bright green armband the same color as Promicin with a capital P on it. The only difference about this was next to the P was a +. Put them together P+. This must be some sort of bunk house. I see myself sitting next to Nina. I’m older. I’m fifteen. My face is dirty and my hair hadn’t been brushed in a long time, dirt caked it completely. My clothes were filthy... We were prisoners. I did not see Peter anywhere. This must be a women’s only bunk house. I did not want their next child to be born in that prison. Jamie was sitting in my lap now looking up at me with her sparkling brown eyes curiously. Nina hunched over in pain. Turning to me her eyes grew wide. 

“Maia, go and get Peter! Get him for me please!”

 

I was jolted from my vision and two worried faces were in my line of vision. Nina and Peter both looked at me with concerned faces. How could I tell them that we were going to be taken away after all? It made my stomach turn thinking about. Peter would be separated from Nina, Jamie and I. He would be sent to a separate part of the camp. Peter took me by the elbow and sat me down. 

“Maia, what is it? “You’re shaking.”

I was going to have a hard time telling them this vision I’ve just had. But I have to. It goes with the first one I had. The world around me seemed to be a different place. I was going to be taken away. This would mean I wouldn’t see mom again for a couple of years. I began to cry at the thought of it. 

“It doesn’t matter how hard you fight against Steve and Mary-Ann Peter. They’ll take us away. We’re given armbands the same color as Promicin and we’re going to have to wear them on our left arms. Mine is a regular P and the two of you have one with a P+ on them. They send us to a place with barbed wire. It looks like a warehouse yard that they used to store dry foods in... I saw the street that it was on... But it wasn’t clear... All I saw was that it’s in Northeast Portland somewhere... There isn’t much around it... I did see a city bus go by the entrance to the camp... All I got out of it was a 6... The other number next to it was all blurred out. Peter gets separated from us. You, me and Jamie all are put into a big room with bunk beds stacked three high. Nina, it’s where you’ll have you’re next baby...”

Nina’s face fell. I was having a hard time trying to accept this. Though I had been able to control my ability for a few years, it still amazed me at the things I saw. Nina and Peter, it was very difficult for them to control their abilities and there was no way to tell if Jamie had an ability until she got a little older. Nina looked me straight in the eye.

“But if we’re taken away, how can Mary-Ann and Steve possibly know if Peter and I have abilities? They wouldn’t know unless they had an extensive and comprehensive list with them. Maybe we can fool them into not taking us. I don’t know how well that’ll go over, but it’s worth the risk. I have to admit, Peter and I weren’t very accepting of our abilities at first, but it definitely has its advantages. But the downside to all this is: we’re Promicin Positives now. You are the only original 4400 with us. They won’t make any difference between us anymore. I don’t know how to say this but, Dennis Ryland was right, it’s us against them. Let’s at least get dressed so that when they come for us we’ll be presentable.”

More tears fell down my cheeks as I went back into my room. I had managed to find a picture of me and mom. Not a recent one, but it was still a picture of us no less. I was nine when we took it. I remember, it was the day mommy and Aunt April had that huge fight, and then she left. I carefully took the picture from the dresser and placed it into my backpack. If I was going somewhere dangerous, I’d need this to help me through the night. I tore my pajamas off and threw them into my backpack. I searched my meager belongings for something warm to wear... I had no clean pairs of pants... All I had was several long skirts... I put two on and stuffed the other six into my backpack. I put three pairs of nylons on. I pulled two cotton long-sleeved shirts on over my head and a semi-larger gray wool sweater. I’d be warm in this... Four pairs of socks donned my feet and now all I needed was my boots, scarf, hat and gloves... I almost forgot my coat. It’s really cold outside. I’d put that off for a little while. It was only because I didn’t know when Mary-Ann and Steve were coming for us. It could be any time... I came out of my room backpack hoisted onto my back. 

Banging on the front door drug my mood even deeper and I stood back with Nina and Peter as Mary-Ann and Steve busted the door down. I tried my best not to be scared, but I couldn’t help it. Mary-Ann smirked at both Peter and Nina. I got a lump in my throat when she began to eye Jamie. Nina held onto her tightly not willing to give her up without a fight. Tears coursed down her face, though she remained strong. 

“Nice place you’ve got here Mrs. Morgan. But I believe the two of you and the children don’t live here anymore. Hope you’re packed, because you’re all going to a detention center for Promicin Positives on Swan Island: Dry Dock.”

The smirks continued to spread across their faces as they looked at a list of names. I swallowed when I saw my name on the list in front of me.

“Maia Skouris. Precognition. Put this armband on your left arm.”

I swallowed again and put the armband on my arm. Tears flooded Nina’s face and fell faster as Steve read their names of the list still in front of us.

“Mr. and Mrs. Morgan, you two have the ability to read minds. The two of you put these Promicin Positive bands on your left arms. It seems your daughter Jamie doesn’t have an ability as of yet.”

We were then all shoved out the front door and down the stairs. The door at the bottom of the stairs was opened up and there were more people coming out of the building, more positives like we were. A Tri-met bus was waiting for us outside. 

“Line 72 to Swan Island: Dry Dock.”

I quickly boarded the bus only to notice the driver onboard was the same one I had on the 55 this morning. How could she be in on this too? It wasn’t fair, not one bit. Once the bus was loaded, and loaded like sardine packed, we left... Traveling through downtown felt so strange now that we were not free to get off this bus when we felt like it... Before I knew it, we were entering the edge of Northeast Portland.

“Northeast Killingsworth and Cully.”

I shuddered at the name of the street because it sounded like death itself... I looked out the window, the street itself was covered in garbage and the cars and buildings on this side of the city were all graffitied on... I looked at Nina next to me who was still crying... I hadn’t seen her sad before... The last time I had seen her like this was when Will was sick... The scenery around us kept changing... Soon I found myself in unfamiliar territory... The bus came to a halt and opened up its doors one last time...

“North Anchor and Channel.”

The driver of the bus ushered us off all at once through both the back and front doors... This was something out of my nightmares... Though only worse, and I wasn’t a child anymore, but I clung to Nina like one... Peter clung to Nina’s side as well. He wasn’t going to be separated from us. We were sent to a large building in front of us... Now it was like my dream. We were all in a long line waiting... I still held onto Nina because I didn’t know what was going to happen once we were sent beyond the doors to the left of the man with glasses who sat in the desk in front of us... 

Soon it was our turn at the front of the line. I glared down the man with glasses in front of me... His eyes were not unlike Gabriel Hewitt’s. I was quivering with fear already... Nina’s screaming made my stomach feel like a million pounds. 

“No Peter! Don’t let them take you away! I won’t let them! Fight them Peter! Fight them!”

My tears started to fall again when I saw Peter struggling against some army guards... He tried his best to cling to Nina, but the guards pulled him away and to the right side door... 

“The door to the right sir... Men to the right, and women to the left... Your bunk house is this way, if you would just come with us sir...”

Nina had no choice but to let her husband go... We were roughly shoved to the left doorway and through it... To my surprise we were led back outside into the cold January air. Our ‘bunk house’ wasn’t far ahead. We were lead into a smaller building, and just like in my vision, there were beds stacked three high... Nina picked the bottom bunk and I picked the one next to hers... Little did I know that later someone would eventually take mine... It wasn’t so bad in here, at least there was a mattress with sheets on them and pillows, but the floor was made of dirt... Guess these living conditions wouldn’t be so bad... In the corner of the room was a wood stove... I hadn’t seen one of those since before I was taken from my mom and dad a long time ago... Nina still held Jamie close to her and wept for awhile... I peered down at the blanket on the bed. At least they gave us thick blankets to use for the winter... 

“Don’t worry Nina; we’ll get out of this eventually... I mean at least they give us mattresses with sheets on them and a heavy wool blanket and a pillow though that doesn’t have a pillowcase.” 

I could tell Nina would be very lonely here on this side of the camp without Peter here with her. I knew that she would find him, that’s how she ended up pregnant in the first place... Nina kissed Jamie on the forehead and gently placed her in my arms. She looked straight into my eyes.

“Maia I want you to listen to me very carefully, you take Jamie. I’ll be back as soon as I can. I’m going to see if I can find Peter in the other camp. If she gets hungry, there’s some formula in the diaper bag on my bed. I’m trying to wean her. She’s six months old; I want to wean her from breastfeeding. She’s getting too big to be fed like that anymore... Now wrap yourself in that blanket and keep Jamie close to you. She’s going to want to nurse, so try and keep her occupied so she won’t grab onto you.”

My stomach was growling. We hadn’t had any breakfast so my mind was on food. Nina wrapped the blanket around both Jamie and I to keep us warm. I looked up at her with pleading eyes. 

“I’m hungry Nina. I’m so hungry... How are we going to eat food here?”

Nina’s eyes were still full of tears, but she dared not let them fall. She was being very brave. She was a very strong woman, the strongest one I’ve ever met besides mom.... She kept eying Jamie as if looking at her would help make her tears disappear. But seriously, how were we going to eat in this place?

“I know you are baby. We’ll get you some food. I promise. I’ll find Peter and we’ll get out of here. Just you wait and see...”

I nodded my head and rocked Jamie in my arms. She was happily sleeping, sucking away at her pacifier. We had to get out of here, for Jamie’s sake. We couldn’t let her spend the first two years of her life in here, let alone her brother be born here too... It wasn’t fair to Nina and it wasn’t fair for the rest of her family as well... 

 

To Be Continued...


	17. Love blossoms even in the darkest of places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

February 3rd, 2010 4:45 a.m.

Peter and I had been seeing each other for a little over a year. I’ve been sneaking to his side of the camp for over a year. My little Jamie is still teething, but the last of her teeth are coming in... Her walking isn’t so good... The food is so bland and Peter says that the nutrients in the food that they feed us here isn’t sufficient enough for us. Trying to get comfortable here wasn’t as easy as it seems... Peter and I can barely fit in this bed together... Peter looked at me lovingly; we had to be very quiet in showing our feelings for each other. I had to be very careful with us doing what we did at least three times a week... Making love in this place wouldn’t be easy because of all the pairs of eyes that were   
all around us... I suppressed a moan as I lie down on the bed once more... Peter smiled at me.

“You are looking lovelier everyday my dear. I hate that we are kept apart by a barbed wire fence.... But that doesn’t seem to stop us now does it?”

I shook my head no and lay my head against Peter’s chest. I was very comfortable lying here in bed with him that I had almost forgotten about all the other men around us. We were keeping each other warm and I didn’t want to leave him because it was so cold once I left here... But I had to get back to Maia and Jamie... Jamie had horrible nightmares sometimes.... She’d wake up screaming for me... I pulled my shirt closed and buttoned it up... Now leaving this place would prove difficult to do without waking up all these men... I slipped my skirt back on and covered myself with my coat. I had abandoned my shoes long ago because of the large holes that had formed on the bottom of them both. When my feet hit the floor I shivered to myself because the dirt floor felt like it had frozen over... I smiled to myself knowing that I had my hour of pleasure, and that kept me warm... Peter pulled me back into bed for a second.

“Cariño, where are your shoes? Your feet will freeze out there in this weather.”

The pleasure I just experienced with Peter would keep me warm for awhile... I shook my head no and climbed out of bed once more. I felt so invigorated, like I was walking on air... The walls seemed to melt away around me and I noticed none of the men around me... I walked out of the men’s ‘bunk house’ and out into the frigid air, the ground now completely frozen beneath my bare feet. I tried to be quiet as I opened up the door to the women’s ‘bunk house’. Shutting it, I went towards my bed... Maia and Jamie were snuggled in there under both her blanket and mine... I smiled and shook her shoulder a little, startling her awake... Maia looked at me worriedly.

“You took longer than you normally do when your with Peter... Is it because you miss him? I know what you were doing... I’m not stupid... (Lowers voice) You think I don’t know that you’re making love to him?”

I looked at Maia speechless; I was unable to say what I was thinking, because she was right... Though I’m not her mother I had already had that talk with her about sex. She kept looking at me disgusted... She didn’t like the idea of making love... But she’s a teenager, most think about it, and others don’t want to even hear a word about it even though they know what it is... I didn’t look her in the eye, I got defensive instead...

“I really don’t think that’s any of your business... Peter says to keep up your strength... I’ve got to take Jamie to the infirmary tomorrow for a check-up... Peter says he’s having a hard time getting supplies in... But that’s thanks to Gabriel Hewitt this time not Jordan Collier...”

The heavens above only knew how much I blamed Collier for my baby boy’s death... I’d blame him until the end of time... He was the one keeping the medical supplies out of Oregon... We were fed food, but with little nutrients in them... My stomach growled but I ignored it because breakfast wasn’t for a few hours still... 

“Jamie has been good all night. I kept her and I warm with both our blankets... Though I’m worried about her coughing, she keeps doing it in her sleep... Gripa isn’t good... She was talking about you in her sleep...”

I smiled over at Jamie climbing into bed once Maia climbed back into hers... Now Jamie had mama to snuggle up with... I watched as Jamie opened up her beautiful brown eyes and stared at me... 

“Hi mama... You with Jamie..." 

I pulled Jamie into my arms and wrapped the blanket around her tighter and grabbed for a water bottle on the side table next to the bed... I opened it up and put it up to my baby’s lips. I helped her swallow... She pushed the water bottle away and began to cry waking up nearly every woman in the room... 

“Nina, what’s the matter with Jamie? Why is she coughing?” 

I ignored the woman calling out to me... I pushed the water back towards my baby once more and tried to get her to drink from the bottle. But she refused and pushed it away from her face continued crying... 

“Jamie no want water mama! Jamie no want! No want water mama! No want water!”

I wasn’t going to give up on giving her water; she needed it to suppress her coughing... I put the bottle of water up to her lips and tried to make her drink... But she kept pushing it away... Tears began to flow down my face... She didn’t want to drink...

“Come on baby; please drink a little water for mama... Please Jamie, please drink the water for mama... It’s good for you...”

Jamie kept pushing it back towards me, and now my eyes were full of tears... I had to take her back to Peter now... She wasn’t drinking anything... Her breathing was coming out in short gasps and she was turning a shade of blue I didn’t like... I wrapped her in the blanket tight and ran out of the ‘bunk house’ and back into the cold night air, never mind my already frozen feet, I couldn’t even feel them anymore... I found the trusty hole in the fence I had used so many a time sneaking over to see Peter... I reached the ‘men’s bunk house’ and entered quickly, not caring what kind of racket I was making... I raced over to Peter’s bed... I turned the lamp on next to his bed and shook him hard...

“Peter, wake up!”

Peter opened up his eyes and shot out of bed faster than I had time to place Jamie into his arms... His eyes widened at the sound of Jamie’s ragged breathing... He roused his little corner of the bunk house to get up... 

“Birnstein, your ass out of bed right now! Got a child in need of your assistance! Get Sarson and Mason into the infirmary with you... Let’s go!”

Peter carried Jamie’s limp form into the infirmary that connected to the bunk house... He flicked on the lights and set Jamie down on top of a well-used gurney, probably a reject from a hospital nearby... He pulled on a fresh pair of latex gloves and went about examining Jamie... She was still crying, but you couldn’t hear her... He stuck his finger in her mouth to make sure there wasn’t anything stuck in her throat... 

“Peter all I tried to do was get her to drink some water because she was coughing, she pushed it away... She didn’t want any water... Then she started turning blue and she couldn’t breathe...”

Peter nodded seriously and walked away for a second, reaching for a tray with a clean scalpel and a fresh cloth to put on top of her small chest. He wasn’t thinking of cutting her open was he? I didn’t want that at all... I watched as he placed the fresh cloth on top of her chest, his fingers were shaking with the scalpel in his hand... I shook my head, he couldn’t do this, and it was his own child... He was emotionally too close to this... I knew that... Doctor Birnstein showed up behind Peter.

“Doctor Morgan, I do believe you are too close to this... Let me do this, I’ll have her breathing in no time... Besides you’re an OBGYN, this is no job for you... Don’t worry she’s in good hands, now can you get me that thorochotomy tray over there? Going to have to perform an emergency tracheotomy on her... She’ll be as good as new I promise...”

I swallowed as Peter pulled me away from Jamie, she’d be alright. He led me over to another gurney on the other side of the room and made me sit down on it... I didn’t care about my feet right now; all I cared about was Jamie... Peter kept his eyes on me but spoke to another doctor that had just joined the rest of us in the room.

“Doctor Sarson, could you get some warm saline to warm up my wife’s feet? I’m hoping there isn’t any frostbite setting in... (Turns to Nina) We’ll see about getting you some new shoes and some socks... You know you really shouldn’t be out in this cold weather with no shoes... You could lose some of your toes...”

I knew that but I was more concerned about Jamie at the moment, she was my baby... I gave a choked sob when I heard my baby start to cry, the coloring was starting to return to her beautiful little face... I looked now at the strange looking tube sticking out of her throat to help her breathe; it would have to stay there until the other doctors could figure out what was wrong with her. I was just happy that she could breathe again... We had to get out of here. We just had to. It was a matter of life and death. Peter helped me place my feet into the tub of warm saline below my frozen feet. I looked into his eyes lovingly, but his mood was somber despite the fact that Jamie was alright now.

“What’s the matter cariño? Why such a sour mood? Jamie’s alright now... Doctor Birnstein got her breathing again... Now, why so sour?”

Peter’s gaze continued to remain somber, his attitude almost sour... Something had changed his mood, but I didn’t understand why... My attention turned towards the door we had come in from the ‘men’s bunkhouse’. There was Jordan Collier before my very eyes... The man who denied my son access to desperately needed medical supplies and let him die... I was going to give him a piece of my mind right now... I was...

“You! My son died because of you! You denied him access to desperately needed medical supplies! My son was a diabetic! He slipped into a diabetic coma and died because he had no insulin! You let an innocent child die, and his blood is on your hands though not physically...”

I felt like leaping at Collier, but I restrained myself. Peter’s eyes were springing with tears, but he didn’t want to blame Collier himself. I was doing the blaming myself... Should I be careful about what I say? Collier had ways of taking abilities away from people who contracted them from the Seattle outbreak if they weren’t ‘worthy’ of it... Collier cleared his throat.

“Well, given the record that you were the former head of NTAC I won’t hold that against you... But as for your son, don’t pin his death on me... You have your own medical supplies down here. Why should I allow a medical helicopter through with supplies that are completely useful to Promise City? Answer me that one...”

My mood turned into a darker one, but I dared not act on it. On account that my Jamie was all I had left... He could do nothing to my family... He caused this whole mess though... I’d be darned if this next child I had was taken away by him... That thought irked me big time... He had no right to take my next child away... Peter getting upset was a rare occasion, but when he did, I didn’t get in his way... He exploded into a very heated discussion but not in English.

“¡Usted mató a mi hijo! ¡Usted es responsable de su muerte! ¿Cómo puede usted?”

(You killed my son! You’re responsible for his death! How could you?) 

Collier only rolled his eyes though he could not understand a word my husband was saying... It was almost as if this whole thing were below him in general... I couldn’t believe it, I just couldn’t... The feeling in my feet was beginning to return and it felt like pins and needles running up and down them. The coloring in my left foot was returning but my right foot was purple and black... I hoped I hadn’t gotten frostbite in it... Peter examined it carefully. I winced when he pushed down on it with his gloved fingers. 

“Ouch! Peter, that hurts! Be a little more careful...”

Peter nodded his head at me slowly and gently applied some ointment and antiseptic to my purple and black foot. The ointment he was putting on my foot reminded me of the stuff they used for burns... But maybe it was different. My foot was starting to turn purple, and the black was disappearing. Whatever he put on my foot it was helping with the coloring of it. Jamie was slowly falling to sleep on the stretcher Peter had placed her on. I closed my eyes for a moment and listened to her breathing, making sure she was alright. I turned my attention back to Collier. How many more children had to die at Collier’s expense of his movement ‘to bring peace on earth’? Countless children have starved to death because of his so called attempt to have people see his perfect world... As we are now, rotting away in this bunk house and only getting enough food to sustain us until the next meal... My little girl cries because even though she gets food, she is still hungry... 

“You will not believe the unimaginable events that have plagued my family over the past three years as a result of this war...”

Collier’s eyes seemed to tone down his strange mood, and he almost seemed sympathetic towards the rest of us. But I had learned over years at working for the government to keep my guard up even though things didn’t seem too dangerous. His raspy voice interrupted my thoughts.

“I am sorry for your losses Mrs. Moreno-Santos. Really I am... But the time to fight against each other has passed long ago. Now that you and your husband have gained abilities you can either choose to be with the movement or not. It’s your choice. But choose wisely what you do with your gifts. If not used properly, I can take them away in an instant. Heed that as a warning to you and your family.”

I was naturally seething underneath my practiced calm layer on my face. Collier had never had any children of his own, never married, so he didn’t know what it was like to lose children, or lose a wife or husband... If he somehow decided to take my ability away sometime down the road and I was pregnant, what kind of affect would that have on me? I’m sure it would have some serious repercussions. One’s that I wasn’t going to accept. Peter would protect me against the on slot of Collier. 

No matter what Collier did, he still had a messiah complex to match his attitude of all-powerful. I glanced back down at my feet and the purple was nearly gone from them. As my feet were turning to a normal color, I watched as Peter carefully placed Jamie in an incubation crib to keep her warm. Collier would never understand the joys of being a parent. The only thing he enjoyed in life was his Messiah complex. Jamie was now asleep, and Peter wanted me to sleep here tonight. Maia showed up by my side suddenly, her eyes wide with concern. 

“Is Jamie okay? I just came in here because I didn’t want to be alone in the bunk house... I wish there were something that I could do to help bring money to buy things here... I mean, these soldiers let us run this place... They don’t care what we do as long as we don’t escape... Everything but that... You promised me almost two years ago when I wandered into your life that you’d help me find my mother, that hasn’t happened yet...”

I knew Maia was angry at me for not finding her mother, but it’s very hard to smuggle correspondence letters out to my former superiors when you’re in a place like this... The ramifications would be staggering at most. I was doing the best I could with trying to balance taking care of Jamie and trying to work my way through the little sewing machine factory as a seamstress. The seamstress ideology wasn’t for me, but it was what kept the clothes on our backs clean... I now envied every other American outside this camp who had washers and dryers and adequate heat while we only got meager things... 

Day by day here was all we lived for in hopes that Gabriel Hewitt and his goons would let us go... I prayed for the day... I closed my eyes and reminded Maia as I always did that I was still working on it, doing the best I could.

“Maia, I’m doing the best I can. It’s not easy getting things organized. The last I heard: two weeks ago, my former superiors spotted your mom in a homeless shelter in North Portland... They’ve been trying their best to keep their location on her... That is all the comfort that I can give you right now...”

Maia sat down on the bed across from mine and pouted... There wasn’t much I could do for her in terms of finding her mother. My contacts have been kind of sketchy lately... Some have visited me by the barbed wired fence and I’ve had to give them things through the fence and make sure no one’s looking. I momentarily glanced over at Jamie who was sleeping soundly in the incubation crib in the corner of the room. An iv drip was attached to her left arm. Her breathing sounded so wheezy as she took breaths in and out through the thick plastic blue tub in her throat... I wanted these doctors to figure out why Jamie couldn’t breathe. I’d give my life for my last baby. 

After all, her birth had been difficult, but she was turning into a wonderful child despite the living conditions in which we lived in daily. She knew not of what was around her. She was a normal little girl who thought nothing of the things around her. It was just a sad fact of life here... Though we live in bare conditions here, love blossoms even in the darkest of places. Peter and I know that for a fact. Look at the two of us. 

 

Peter smiled at me warmly and squeezed my hand for comfort. Though I didn’t see it, he too was afraid of what was going to happen to us. Like I, he had a job, only working as a brick layer. Masonry wasn’t common anymore and the last of them to die out was a few years ago now. He had two jobs to try and support himself and the rest of his family. Though we both worked, Maia felt a little left out... I knew she wanted to work to help the family out, but she’s too young to work. She’s nearly 15. She needs a work permit to work in the sewing machine factory making brand new clothes for the soldiers under Hewitt’s hefty payroll. 

“If you can’t find my mother, the least I can do is work. Working will help me not to think about my mom for the time being. But you promised to find her Nina. Really you did. I’m almost 15. My birthday is in three weeks... February 28th remember? And think about Jamie, she’ll be two this fall... That’s when I saw you having your baby... I’m not sure of the specific time it is though...”

All of these things were cropping up so fast it was making my head spin. How could I cope with it all? Collier was watching everything we were doing. It made me nervous that he was watching us. My concern flipped to Jamie and her safety. My baby’s safety came first. She was now asleep peacefully. I smiled knowing that she would sleep soundly in a warm bed tonight. It broke my heart to see my little girl growing up in a place like this, but I was planning on getting out of here. 

Maybe not right now, but we were getting out. The next move Collier made over to Jamie’s crib made me even more nervous. I went into overprotective mode and tried to leap up over to him. But the worst I could do was yell at him.

“What are you doing! Leave my daughter alone! You have no right to touch her!”

Collier turned back to me and glared. I hoped he wasn’t going to open a can of whoop-ass on me. Really I didn’t. What was going to happen now? Was he going to take my ability away? I hadn’t done anything wrong. I was only protecting my own daughter. He had no right to even get near her! He had no right! He then turned back and put his finger up to Jamie’s hand. Jamie reacted by grabbing onto it. I grew angry at him, but he only smiled and gave me an answer I wasn’t comfortable with.

“See most children like me. They usually don’t shy away from me. So you see, I’m not a bad person. If your daughter likes me, then that’s a step in the right direction.”

I only shook my head and looked at Collier. He had no idea what he was talking about. My baby wouldn’t be the root cause to improve the forward motion into collecting new members. She would not be a part of this disgusting movement that caused hundreds of people to perish at the cost of Collier. All for the cost of him being wrong. So very wrong. One day I hope he figures out that what he is doing is a big mistake not even he could see coming. I had no say so in his day to day affairs with his movement which was growing by leaps and bounds in the numbers by the thousands. The Marked however, were gaining in numbers as well. They could be anyone really. The last I heard, they had snatched the president’s full-grown daughter Alexandra. 

General Rands, one of my contacts for finding Diana, says he is doing the best he can in locating Diana. But if his cover is somehow compromised, he can no longer help me. I mean what kind of conspiracy would surface if the American public not affected by Promicin knew of him helping a former head of NTAC out? They would condemn me for the rest of my life. I’d be a political prisoner. It was already too late for that, I already was. So was the rest of my family for that fact. What could I do? Political prisoners were not seen a kind light if they were charged with aiding and abetting. Love blossoms even in the darkest of places. But Collier wasn’t getting a hold of one more participant, and that includes my little girl. 

To Be Continued...


	18. A Mother's love: A mother's sacrifice

April 3rd, 2010 7:45 a.m.

Being roused from a semi-wonderful sleep was rather aggravating, especially from the loud Klaxon horns that sound just outside the bunk houses every morning. You would think I’d be allowed at least fifteen minutes more sleep because of the condition I’m in. But I am treated like every other woman here. This bed is really doing a number to my back. I may have Peter give me something for the pain my Sciatic nerve is giving me. 

I hoisted myself up out of bed for what seemed like the fiftieth time since 3am. But this time not to use the bathroom. Maia had pulled the pillow over her head and was trying to go back to sleep. I pulled the pillow from over her head and pulled her into a sitting position. She grew cranky with me. 

“No Nina, a few more minutes of sleep please? I don’t want to go to work yet... Can’t I just stay here and sleep?”

I shook my head no and continued getting ready. If I wanted to get to the sinks before all the other women that shared this bunk house with us, I’d better do it now... They all crowded around it like animals when they did. I needed every ounce of strength my body would give me right now. I was working and eating for two now, so it wasn’t easy to get things done in a timely fashion, no matter how hard or fast I worked... I pulled the blankets back and put my foot down with Maia.

“Maia Skouris, I want you out of that bed in less than ten minutes. If you want to use the ‘community’ sinks before the rest of these animals get out of bed right now. I’m not going to tell you again. I know I’m not your mother, but I’m the only mother figure you have right now. Come on get up.”

Maia’s eyes shot open faster than mine had when those disgustingly annoying Klaxon’s went off outside the bunk house. I saw her shiver when her bare feet hit the cold dirt floor. She had yet again outgrown her shoes and had none anymore to spare herself. I’d have to get Peter to smuggle some new shoes in here for her. She’ll never get through another winter without them. She was quickly outgrowing her clothes too, and she was becoming tall. 

Maia was no longer the little nine year old girl I had met back in 2005. The pants she was wearing were becoming high waters and her shirt looked like it belonged on a toddler. Her hair was matted and dirty. They gave us no shower privileges around here. Not unless the doctor’s said you absolutely needed one in case of serious medical need. I got them because I was pregnant and I needed to be clean. Oral health was important. I wasn’t going to let it go down to the flames of hell just because I lived in this disgusting dump. It was a mother’s love and a mother’s sacrifice that helped me keep going. 

We were both at the sink washing up when one of the women shoved me out of the way. Why did I have the feeling there was a riot about to start about the stupid sinks? I brushed it off, taking the calm root to the situation and grabbed another sink. This one too I was shoved out of the way from. I moved again to another empty sink. Another woman came up and shoved me from it. Third time’s a charm. Now I was angry. I was tired of all these women acting like animals getting to the sinks all the time. The first woman who had taken the sink I had been occupying before she so rudely shoved me sneered.

“Well, well, well. Look who we have here. The most privileged woman around here. The one who gets shower privileges, the best shoes and clothes, even the best medical care. The one that is carrying the man whore’s child... Don’t look so shocked Menina. You know your husband sleeps around... I’ve seen him with two women...”

I clenched my fists tightly wanting so badly to sock this woman in the face one good strong punch. But luckily for me, a woman who has been watching over me since I first became pregnant came to my rescue. Her name was Mariana Alvarez. 

“Ella estan loco. Don’t worry about her doña Moreno-Santos. I’ve got your back. (Turns to irate woman) Eres una Payaso!”

(She’s crazy. Your crazy!)

Mariana had already taken a few shiners for me since the other women began accusing me of getting the best of everything. Women were often vicious creatures when it came down to competing and what they wanted. She ushered me to the sink that had been taken away from me and turned it on. I stuck my hands in and splashed the semi-warm water on my face. Though I was barely showing, the other women in the bunk house were staring at my swelling abdomen. I shook my head at all of them. They had nothing better to do than gawk at me. How dare they call my husband a ‘man whore’. I moved so that Maia could get her turn at splashing the water on her face. Once she was finished she followed both Mariana and I out of the ‘bunk house’ and into the cool morning air. It was certainly much cooler by the river. We were maybe two hundred feet away from the Willamette river and yet, who wants to swim across to the mainland? It’s about 45 degrees even in the spring and summer... 

“Nina? What’s a man whore? And why did Gertrude call you that?”

Well I wasn’t about to sugar coat things for her. We were in a harsh reality now, and she’s old enough to know what’s going on. Regardless of what was or wasn’t going on with my husband. As we were walking towards the building of the sewing ‘factory’ Maia glanced at me.

“A man whore is someone who sleeps with everyone he meets. That is not my Peter. You know he wouldn’t do that. He’s not like that at all.”

Maia stopped me when we stepped into the doorway of the ‘factory’. Her eyes were wide with somber seriousness. There was something bothering her. But I didn’t know what it was. What was going on with her? She pulled me off to the side for a moment.

“Nina, someone is going to pull a knife on you. You have to protect your unborn child. Also we are swimming in the river.”

I swallowed; this piece of knowledge wasn’t comforting at all. But I couldn’t let her see my fear. 

“Noted Maia. I’ll keep my guard up. Watch yourself. Okay?”

She nodded her head slightly and assumed her position next to me at her sewing machine station. I kept my eyes and head low as the head as the head seamstress came in. None of us looked at the head seamstress as she walked to aisles in between the sewing machines. 

“Good morning ladies. I trust you all had a good night’s sleep. Today we will be making 500 uniforms total for our soldiers. There are 50 of you so I expect you to have all ten garments done by the end of the twelve hour day. You all will be paid 60 cents extra for every button you sew on, and $3.00 extra if the collars are fitted with cotton fabric.”

I almost scoffed at Doña Martina’s generous offer to her fellow seamstress’. A woman behind Maia and I spoke up.

¿Oye, Doña Martina, por qué es usted tan generoso? ¿Qué? 

(Hey, Doña Martina, why are you being so generous? Huh?)

Doña Martina only answered with this response:

“Eso no es importante. Trabaje a mujer.”

(That’s not important. Work woman.)

I was surprised and yet appalled by Doña Martina’s attitude. She used to be the person everyone loved when they got into a sticky situation. But as of lately, she wasn’t much of a cheerful woman or worker. She was more edgy, and painfully strict. More so than usual. As I started up my sewing machine, it was apparent that everyone else was as shocked as I was at the sudden change in her. I quickly pulled fabric from the tightly woven wooden basket on the ground next to my feet, and then took the pair of scissors from around my neck and cut off the rough edges. 

The starched green of these uniforms was hard on your eyes after awhile. But I couldn’t complain about this because I was on the weekends making myself and Maia some new clothes. White fabric was all we had left at the end of the day. Jamie was quickly outgrowing her own clothes as well. Peter says she can come back to the women’s ‘bunk house’ in a couple of days. They’ve taken out the thick blue tube in which she was breathing from. Peter says that her cheeks are round and rosy again since they’ve been allowed to give her more food than usually allowed here in this awful place. It was an allergic reaction to a flea bite she got from the beds. Peter is going to try and sneak some people in here to clean out the bunk house to insure it’s clean.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7:00 p.m. 

I was just about to cut the last thread from the uniform I was making when Doña Martina sounded the loud and annoying Klaxons that awoke us this morning. The last button had not yet been placed on the right sleeve of the green uniform, and the collar wasn’t all the way sewn on. The cotton fabric anyways. I sighed and neatly folded the garment, placing it into the wooden basket on the floor. 

“Times up mujeres! Please bring all your completed garments up to the front of the room for inspection. Don’t forget to cut off any loose ends you may have forgotten to clear away. Quickly mujeres, quickly now.”

I was the first to make it into the line. Lucky me. Maia was several people behind me. As I was pulling out the completed garments to show to Doña Martina, she pulled a knife on me. Her eyes were wild and as she swung the knife at me, all I could think of was, how could this be happening? Before I could even think about what was happening to me, Doña Martina took one quick slash to my stomach. But instead of getting my stomach, she got my left arm. I wrapped my arms around myself protecting the unborn child inside me from harm’s way. She was crazy. What had made her snap I wonder? Mariana jumped to my defense and knocked the knife out of Doña Martina’s hands. 

All the women were in an uproar now. It was as if we were in a prison and Doña Martina and I had started the beginnings of a prison riot. Soldiers were now storming the ‘sewing factory’ and trying to break up the fight. Pepper spray was flying in all directions now. I shielded my eyes from the burning stuff. I heard Maia begin to scream.

“Ow! My eyes! My eyes hurt!”

A pit began to form at the bottom of my stomach when Maia said these words. Whatever she did next, I didn’t want her to rub them. It would only make it less manageable and worse. I now felt like I was a gunned down protestor at a city-wide protest. Mainly because I was a woman. Somehow though, this all seemed to go back to the gender card. A mother’s love and her sacrifice for her children were worth the risks here. But as for the pepper spraying, that was one step too far. I helped Maia up so that she wouldn’t touch the dirt infested floor and then touch her eyes. I felt her tense up in my grip. I wondered now if she could see me.

“Who’s there? I can’t see! Nina where are you! Help! Please!”

I was cautious with her, trying to steer my way through the throngs of women still trying to flee the scene of the pepper spray still flying in all directions. The whole way she fought me. I had to act now, and tell her it was me and not some other woman in the factory.

“Maia, it’s me Nina. Relax. I’m going to take you to the infirmary so Peter can get a good look at you. Now, don’t touch your eyes. I know it’s hard not touching them, but I don’t want you to do it. The pepper spray can damage your eyes, if it hasn’t already.”

It seemed like a long walk to the infirmary, one of the longest in my life. Peter had come outside to see what all the commotion was about. He saw me and Maia and ushered us inside the infirmary. His face was filled with worry.

“Nina, what happened out there? I was working on my last brick when I heard a bunch of women start screaming from the direction of the sewing factory.”

I could see Peter’s outline, but things were blurry, now I’m wondering if I got Pepper Spray into my eyes. My eyes did feel itchy, but at least I could semi-see. Maia next to me was still screaming. Pepper Spray burned when someone got it in their eyes. 

“I can’t see! Why can’t I see?”

Peter steered Maia over to an un-used gurney while Doctor Sarson sat me down on another. My eyes were very itchy still. I didn’t like the feeling one bit. I could barely make out Doctor Sarson’s outline as he examined my eyes. I answered Peter’s questions accordingly.

“I was taking my sewing up to Doña Martina when she pulled a knife on me. Maia warned me that someone would pull a knife on me, just not who. She went for my stomach, but I wrapped my arms around myself to protect the baby and she got my arm instead. Mariana pulled her off me and that’s when the soldiers stormed into the factory and started spraying pepper spray everywhere. I shielded my eyes from it, but Maia got the brunt of the force. How bad is she?”

Doctor Sarson shined a pen-light into my eyes, it was bright, but I let him continue his examination of me. I shook my head, I didn’t want to go to work anymore if these ‘riots’ keep breaking out again and again. How had I become such a lonely person? I used to have stature, purpose. I was the boss. But now, here, none of that mattered anymore. We were all in this together, surviving on what we could, when we could. I felt his fingers probing around my eyes. A voice startled me from behind, I knew that voice anywhere.

“Now you see, this is what happens when you let fear rule over a people. They tend to attack each other.”

I didn’t want Jordan Collier in this room with me than I wanted Doña Martina. He was ruining everything. He also seemed to be showing up at the exact time I don’t want him to. It was so frustrating. I opened up my mouth, my vision seemed to be clearing up with the help of some eye drops Doctor Sarson put into my eyes. 

“Who says that it was fear that’s ruling over us? Huh Collier? How do you know? You weren’t in there when that woman tried to go for my stomach. You weren’t in that sewing factory.”

Collier only scoffed at me, his attitude was getting old, and fast. He shook his head at me as he got closer. I moved myself closer to Doctor Sarson. He had now moved onto looking at the gash on my left arm. He looked me in the eye and stated his diagnosis.

“Well, this gash isn’t so bad. It seems to be superficial. Now, your eyes are okay, there doesn’t seem to be any scarring of any kind on your retinas. They’ll be a little red for a couple of days, but it’ll go away. The eye drops I’ve given you will help with the itch. I want you to take extra precautions since you are in your third month of pregnancy. You should grab a shower while the water is still hot. The kitchen hasn’t yet used all of it. We’ll get out of here someday, and have real jobs again. This is purely all political, and you know it.”

Collier stepped up to me, his attitude becoming more somber, but his voice was filled with demanding power. I didn’t like it one bit. He made me seem like I was below him. Even in this place he still wanted followers. 

“You’re not such a powerful woman without your credentials now are you? Take away the suit, the pearls, and the make-up and high heels. You are just a regular working class woman trying to 

Support her children anyway she can, making sacrifices for the love of her children.”

Maybe Collier was touching on the bases of this, but he wasn’t going to recruit anymore followers for his movement, because I think that’s why he’s buttering me up so much. He wasn’t going to make Maia go over to his side either. I wouldn’t let her. Her mother would have a fit if that happened. Though Maia seems to think Collier is a good guy... We’ll see... I’ve failed to see the humor in him, or his cause to help all humanity.

To Be Continued...


	19. Dangerous waters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own any of the 4400 characters. But I do own all OC's.

June 30th, 2010 12 p.m.

 

Peter had advised me not to cross the river and back into the city, but a riot has broken out here in the camp and we must get away. A group of us is already knee deep in the muddied Willamette River. As I was wading in the cold water, I tried not to think of the many bodies that had never been discovered at the bottom of the river. Peter had other means of getting Jamie across the river without getting her wet. The cold was biting through me like ice torrents in the Alaskan tundra. 

Most of us have discarded our armbands with either the P or P+ on them on the muddy banks. Maia wasn’t far behind me. The currents of the river this time of year aren’t as bad as they are in the winter. Though they tend to stir the aforementioned bodies at the bottom. The river by now was nearly up to my neck. The shore was maybe 100 or so feet away. I kept up with the current, though not very strong. Houses dotted the wide expanse between the river and the shoreline. Several people were on the shoreline waving their arms wildly at us. We must be a sight to them. I pulled myself onto shore and frantically asked for help.

“Can you help us?”

The woman who was tying her boat to a dock next to her only looked at me as if I had lost my mind. I hadn’t lost my mind, though I was soaking wet, and the obvious fact that I was pregnant... Realization dawned on the woman and she reached out a hand for me to grab. I took it feeling grateful for her gesture. Pulling me from the water and giving me a blanket afterwards she questioned me.

“Where did you come from? You shouldn’t be swimming in this river in the condition your in. Where did all of you come from? Are you refugee’s from somewhere?”

Should I tell her where we had just come from? She might become suspicious and send cops over to throw us back in. But I couldn’t let it come to that. I just couldn’t. I had my family to protect, and Maia was still with us. As the rest were climbing out of the swirling river, the woman that I had yet to know the name of was handing out blankets left and right. She was a real humanitarian. She was looking at our feet with some degree of sadness or maybe it was pity... She was now ushering us away from the shoreline and insisted that we come in.

“Come inside. Don’t want you to catch your deaths out here.”

Most of us, including Maia and Mariana who were following me into the house seemed wary of the situation we were in. The woman’s house wasn’t terribly large, but big enough to hold 30 people if she wanted to. The heat was on, knowing full well that even if it was April, it could sometimes be cold and snowy... I had learned that with the 2009 winter storms... Snow blanketed the entire Portland-metro area and in June we had a freak rainstorm that caused several tornados. This isn’t normal for this region of the country... This winter had been just as bad. 

But not as bad as 2008. The largeness of the house startled me... I was slightly overprotective of the fetus growing inside of me, and even though the woman that stood in front of me looked very nice, it may very well be just a formality and nothing more. I swallowed hard.

“We came from that camp that is burning over there. We got away. You know what they are doing is wrong. For months my family and others have been trying to get away. It was a matter of life or death. I’ve got a husband and a little girl named Jamie. And of course this one growing inside me. My husband is a doctor. He’s helped hundreds of people over the last 10 years. Could you at least point us in the direction of a shelter where we could have a hot meal and some fresh clothes? I’d greatly appreciate it.”

One night I had managed to sneak into Hewitt’s ‘little office’ and snake my old work badge back from him. I fingered its now worn edges and the old picture that adorned it. My once dark brown hair washed and clean was something of long ago. Even when I did get my shower privileges in the camp, the water wasn’t very clean, and the soap was only dish soap that irritated my skin terribly. Peter had tried his best to get the real stuff into camp, but it wasn’t easy to smuggle things in. I felt bad that most of us were sitting in this woman’s house soaking wet and dripping on her kitchen floor. I should probably see where Peter is with Jamie. I saw Peter come through the doorway with a very fussy Jamie suddenly. She brightened at the sight of my face.

“Mama! Mama!”

I looked into Peter’s eyes, I guess I hadn’t noticed before, but he looked like he hadn’t slept in years and he had a noticeable beard growing. Well he’d have to shave that off once we found somewhere semi-safe other than here. The woman in front of us looked at Peter in utter surprise. She was somewhat shocked as well.

“But you’re not... You’re not all wet... How did you get across then?”

Jamie began to fuss in Peter’s arms once again and was reaching out towards me with her little arms. My Jamie got separation anxiety so easily these days because she sometimes had to stay with Peter if he worked in the infirmary or stay in the ‘bunk house’ with another woman I trusted besides Mariana. I listened to Peter’s reaction as I took Jamie from his arms.

“We took a soldier’s boat. Me and a few others. We took a boat. We’ll leave your house immediately, but first, we need directions to a shelter where we can find food and have a shower.”

Jamie was still fussy in my arms, but not like before. I knew she was getting hungry, but we had no food here. We needed to get food somewhere, just not here. The woman nodded her head and wrote down a shelter we could get to. 

“Here’s the address to a refugee shelter on 5th and West Burnside. There they will give you clean clothes, food, and access to clean water and shower. If anyone asks, you didn’t get this from me. If you absolutely must, memorize it, but don’t keep it.”

I nodded my head leading the rest of the crowd with me out the door. We climbed a large hill and found ourselves on the Ross Island Bridge. I shook the water from my limbs as we found ourselves seemingly stranded on it as cars went speeding by, honking their horns loudly at us. We soon found ourselves on SW Oak and 1st avenue. We needed to get to the refugee shelter on W. Burnside... It took us awhile, but we finally found it. 

Standing in a long line, we waited... Waited for our turn to go inside and have some warm food and dry clothes. Maia’s face lit up once we got inside. There at one of the tables in the corner were two people she recognized. I hardly recognized Marco or Diana. Tears coursing down her face, she ran to Diana. Diana was just as surprised. 

“MOMMY!”

I smiled, though I was saddened by the thought of Maia not being with Peter and I anymore. But it as good that Maia was back with her mother. I watched silently as Diana spoke to Maia in almost hushed tones.

“Maia! Where have you been all this time! It’s been two years! I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again!”

Diana’s eyes found their way to my sorry looking and still dripping wet form. I hadn’t seen a mirror in weeks, and my face must look terrible. Her face had one of shock as well as Marco next to her.

“Nina. Has Maia been with you and Peter the whole time? (Nods head) I thank you for that. Where did you three come from?”

I was so afraid to tell Diana where we had come from. I led her over towards the window and pointed towards the ‘bunk houses’ we had been sent to. Tears were streaming down my face. I hoped I’d never have to go back there again. Never. Finally, I gained my strength to tell what happened. 

“We have been living in those ‘bunk houses’ for the better part of the last two years. Dry dock is the worst imaginable place you could ever be. There were fights every day. I worried for the safety of all of us. Not just Maia, but for my daughter Jamie, Peter and the baby I’m carrying. This war has cost Peter and I so much. Your daughter watched the birth of our daughter Jamie. She was curious, so I let her stay. And Peter is a doctor, so he let her stay too. We took Maia in the day she was separated from you. She ran into our apartment building. She found me huddled over my son Will, who was very sick at the time...”

I felt a lump form in my throat at the thought of my little Will. His little face floated across my mind and tears formed in my eyes. I missed him so much. 

“Maia had been with us maybe six months when the army burst into our house with Gabriel Hewitt and demanded to know if we were hiding any 4400’s. One of them slipped me some sort of paralyzing agent while the rest including Gabriel Hewitt searched the house. Peter and I hid Maia in our hidden compartment in the closet. They left without finding her. But that’s when we decided we had to leave Seattle. We drove the three hours down here, thinking we’d be safe. For the first four months we were here, we lived in an abandoned MAX car on Galleria and SW 10th avenue. Will by then wasn’t doing as well. Two months later, we were in an apartment. Peter was deported, but found his way back into the country. Maia was taken away from the both of us, including my Jamie, to a foster home. She got away with Jamie taking three buses to get back to us in the Pearl District. By then, my little boy was gone. All because Jordan Collier wouldn’t let any much needed medicine down here. My son passed away from not getting his insulin. So easy to get if we’d had it. And the rest you know. Two years ago we were taken by bus to the ‘bunk houses’. 

While there Maia and I, well when Maia became old enough for a work permit, which was this year, she was permitted to work with me in the sewing factory in the camp. It was disaster after disaster in that place. Only a month ago, guards were called in to break up a fight that broke out between two of the women in the factory. Maia and I got caught in the crossfire and we got pepper-sprayed. That would be the reason why Maia’s eyes are still very red. And today we made our escape across the Willamette River, swimming against the currents to reach the other side. That’s why I’m soaking wet, along with your daughter and my own little girl and husband. I hope this awful war is done for good, because I don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve already lost one child to it, and I don’t intend to lose anymore.”

Diana and Marco nodded their heads seriously at both Peter and I. We had been through a lot these past two years, but somehow, I think the war was coming to a close soon. I just had to wait and hope. It was only a matter of time. 

The End


End file.
